TL;DR:
My boyfriend and I have a great relationship, but occasionally when he drinks too much, he gets mean or petty. We’ve talked about it and he says he’ll work on it, but it still happens sometimes. I’m not sure how to move forward since everything else between us is really good.
I (F23) have been with my boyfriend (M25) for about a year and a half. Overall, we have the most amazing relationship. He is incredibly caring, supportive, and understanding. We both came from toxic past relationships, so this healthy connection feels like a breath of fresh air. He’s truly my best friend.
He gets along great with my family and friends, and we constantly talk about how lucky we are to have found each other. I’ve never had a relationship like this, it’s genuinely so good in so many ways.
But… he has a drinking problem.
We both enjoy drinking socially, but he sometimes takes it way too far. On occasion, he’ll get blackout drunk and becomes mean or petty, like a completely different person. It’s not every time he drinks, but when it happens, it really throws me off. It feels like such a stark contrast to the person I know and love.
We’ve talked about it multiple times. He always promises he’ll fix it or do better, but nothing has really changed yet. I’m torn. Everything else about our relationship is nearly perfect, it’s just this one thing.
So I guess I’m wondering… are these red flags too red? Or am I overreacting because it only happens occasionally?
Comments
A mean drunk is a very unattractive look. It also gets much worse with age and tends to turn into full blown alcoholism.
My advice is to get out while you can.
Huge red flag. If he says he will change, but doesnt have a plan to do so, he will forever fall back into those habits. Ive been there and the life you end up living is not good.
Suggest therapy, AA, anything. But he isn’t ready to admit he is an alcoholic and take steps to change, get the hell out of there.