can’t join partner in their game.
So my girlfriend F24 and I (M28) don’t live together. She plays online with these friends who keep saying that I don’t love her and interfering in the relationship. One of the friends in particular has a real hatred for me. I’ve never met these friends.
Everytime I ask to join the excuse to why is different each time. Granted it is full a lot but even when there’s space I get told no.
My girlfriend said it’s because this one friend of hers in particular would start having a go at me but all I said to my girlfriend was “If she was your friend she’d respect your wishes and not say anything” which I think isn’t unreasonable? But apparently this friend will still have a go. From what I’ve heard about this friend is she loves to be centre of attention.
I do feel really put out by my girlfriend though because whenever I ask to play the game they’ve played she says no every single time, I asked her before she even met these new friends
Not only that whenever she plays with them I don’t get a reply for 1Hr30 min – 2Hours but they get one instantly when we do something and she has used one of the guys in the group against me in an argument twice
am I just being insecure? I do feel I’m right in what I’m saying but if I do need humbling please tell me.
Comments
not being insecure. this is a red flag.
If she’s letting her friends disrespect you and won’t even let you join a game y’all used to talk about playing, that’s not insecurity—that’s just a red flag she’s ignoring on purpose. You’re not asking for much, and the way she’s handling this sucks.
You’re not being insecure. You’re being disrespected, and your gut is picking up on it.
Let’s be real, if your girlfriend wanted you to be part of her gaming world, you would be. The constant excuses, blaming a “friend,” and using other guys in arguments against you? That’s not respectful, supportive partner behavior. That’s shady.
You’re right to question it. A healthy relationship draws clear boundaries around outside interference, especially when it surrounds strangers attacking your partner. Her choosing to protect a toxic friend over protecting you, repeatedly, is a choice. And it says a lot.
Your line about “if she were your friend, she’d respect your wishes” is spot on. But even more than that, if your girlfriend respected you, she wouldn’t allow someone to disrespect you and continue spending hours with them like it’s no big deal.
This isn’t about a game. It’s about priorities, communication, and emotional safety. You deserve better than to be sidelined, scapegoated, and left out of a huge part of your partner’s life. If she’s unwilling to address this or create boundaries around it, then the issue isn’t with you. It’s with the relationship itself.
First, your feelings are legitimate — you’re not being insecure for nothing. I think it’s also weird that she keeps this friend of hers if she’s talking shit about you. Are your relationship serious or is she taking it lightly? Because it feels like it.
Seems like a huge red flag to me, she’s being extremely disrespectful to you and the relationship
She’s using the gamers as her emotional support group and complains to them about you. No big deal, don’t pursue it.
You will learn that women will always have family and friends that they complain to about you. They all do it. Most women love to complain about their partners and compare complaints. You could be perfect and she’ll complain that your too perfect.
Just ignore it and do your own thing. Let her text you don’t text her and join your own group of gamers. Get involved in doing other things and then she’ll be wanting your attention more.
Yar, all of the above, her gaming friends are more important to her than you are is what this says. As a former guild master in Wow, there is no reason that you can’t play with them except for raids. My 2 cents
You are right to question it. Why on earth would somebody you’ve never met hate you? It’s most likely because your girlfriend vents and talks crap about you to them. I think she doesn’t want you to join because she would be accountable for whatever she told them about you. Huge red flag!
Just leave her. Say “Hey I’m sure you’ll see this in about 2 hours ✌️”
You’re not being insecure, you’re expressing valid concerns. It sounds like there’s a lack of respect from her friends and possibly your girlfriend too.
She’s letting you know where her priorities lie. If they haven’t changed by now I doubt they will in the future. Say cya mate.
sounds to me like she is kind of agreeing that she could do better and will keep an eye out for opportunities to trade up while still being in relationship to you. Of course that’s just my gut reaction with very little context for the whole relationship, but…seriously if it was you hanging out with gamer guys who ragged on her…do you think she’d stay for that?
You are 100% in the right, trust your gut instincts
Sorry just curious but which game is it?
You shouldn’t have to put up with this. Id tell you that you aren’t going to and to knock it off or you will find another girlfriend. Pretty easy to find disrespectful girlfriends. They are everywhere. Finding someone who values you and your time is the hard part.
Your girl sucks
What game?
If the sex is good enjoy it while you look for something else but either way she doesn’t respect you and she doesn’t respect you she can’t love you.
Honestly I’m just sat here playing alone, while they’re playing with a spot free right now.
It’s acceptable for your gf to have a hobby that she doesn’t want to include you in. It’s acceptable for her to take time to herself without being in communication with you for anything less than an emergency.
What’s not acceptable is for her to allow her friends to disrespect you, your relationship, or her wishes to not discuss it with them. But those are boundaries that she needs to set and defend. If she’s not doing that, then it’s time for a bigger conversation.