I (20F) and my boyfriend (21M) live together and we have basically lived together since we started dating 2 years ago. At first everything was well and we always spend time together and had fun and after a while, he would pick up his game and play for a little bit here and there and I understand that’s totally fine. I never had an issue with that because I played too over the last year. It’s been very bad and it’s making me less attracted to him. I still love him and I want to marry him and be with him, but I don’t want the rest of my life to look like this, and I have explained that to him when he gets home from work, he will play for a couple of hours and then go to bed. We don’t talk or really spend time with each other unless it’s right before we go to bed before we go to work or over a meal on his days off he will wake up and play video games all night (we work night shift so we sleep all day) at first I thought you just wanted to spend time with his friends because we don’t live in the same state as his family and friends I’ve noticed… and I say this with no jealousy just pure confusion. He has been playing with these online friends, he made a few months back 2 men and 2 women around the same age as us every single night and I have tried multiple times to ask him questions or make it seem like I’m interested in wanna learn more just so we have something to bond over he always seems so uninterested in playing with me I’ve tried to bond with him over something that he clearly enjoys, but he doesn’t seem to care that I am making an effort. I can stand behind him and talk for 10 minutes before he realizes I’m behind him saying anything. He will be up all night, laughing and giggling, and he doesn’t really do anything with me unless I ask him to, and I always feel guilty asking I have offered to introduce him to people and he says “I don’t want to meet new people. It’s too much work to make new friends” I don’t know what to do when I talk to him and have a conversation things do change but then after about a week or so it’s back to the same thing. It’s lonely and I’m starting to become un attracted to him because of it. I feel like we are roommates that are intimate.
TL;DR: Am I over reacting or is he really just prioritizing games over us.
Comments
He’s prioritizing gaming over you. You’ve tried to connect, but he’s not responding. It’s time for a serious talk.
I’m a woman that has been gaming since childhood, and I also have a boyfriend who loves playing games. We still try to prioritise spending time together, gaming or non-gaming. That includes watching something, taking a walk, cooking, shopping. If he’s spending time with his friends every single night, he doesn’t love you and you’re not a priority in his life, simple as that. If he loved you, he’d try to connect with you, maybe not every day but for a significant amount of time still.
Not overreacting at all. Don’t gaslight yourself. If you have voiced your concerns and he hasn’t changed, leave. It won’t get better. People show us how they love and it’s up to us to decide if it’s enough and stay.