For some context, I had to travel out of state for work this past weekend and both my (31f) gf and (29m) I knew about this a month in advance. Naturally both of us were bummed about it, but with her current employment status, I could really use the money to keep us afloat until she found something that works for her.
The day before I leave she has meltdown about me traveling for work and her not having any family or friends in this state to spend the Fourth with feels alone recently and I felt awful about it, so I booked her a trip to visit her dad who lives half way across the country near the beach.
I understand I wouldn’t be there which definitely plays a part, but I can’t back out of this trip or contract and risk losing 1/4th of my income for the year.
This morning she calls me in good spirits and was telling me about how good her coffee was, just catching up. But a couple minutes later she calls me crying, explaining how she is miserable being there and that this trip was a mistake and how I’m being selfish instead of celebrating with her this weekend.
I feel I’m at my wits end on this. I get her being upset about me traveling, but when I’m home with her she gets onto me about having to travel again and how she misses her family and never gets to see them (I’ve offered to fly her out every time as well) and it just becomes very consistently draining seemingly for both of us.
Has anyone else went through similar situations and how did you go about soothing or helped with creating a solution to make your partner happy even with the circumstances?
TDLR; 31f gf upset I had to travel during 4th of July, I fly her to see her family out of state so she didn’t have to be alone. She is now upset and regrets going out there.
Comments
oh dear. you don’t get it
she isn’t wanting you to cancel the trip.
she wanted you to Take her with you on the trip.
you then spent money to send her to see her dad when you could have used that same money to buy her an extra plane ticket to come with you. that’s why she’s upset.
So you didnt even talk to her about what she wanted, you just said “I gotta work cuz we need the money” then booked her a ticket across the country and sent her on her way? Jesus christ, guy. If you can afford to send her across the country, why cant you afford to take her with you? She clearly wants more time with you. Ffs.
WTF is this must celebrate the 4th nonsense? It isn’t that kind of holiday.
Tolerating being on your own is part of adult life. Does your girlfriend have a diagnosed or undiagnosed mental illness? Does she have a lot of mood swings? Is she very sensitive to rejection?