I am a teenager, and I have mental issues. My mom has broken my trust multiple times and has never really handled me well. The majority of my childhood was spent with my grandparents, she was too busy talking to my stepdad.
Today, we had an argument. We always have arguments, so I just don’t talk to her. I can’t bring myself to, it just hurts to argue with my own mother. At some point, I got so overwhelmed I yelled “I don’t care about you or my stepdad!” because she wouldn’t give me space. I know, I am in the wrong for this. She previously said that I hold awful grudges, the things she did in the past should remain there… and didn’t apologise for what she has done to be previously. It hurt a lot.
The argument just got worse, I told her to get out and before leaving she said, “You’ll finally care when I am gone someday.” I don’t think that made me feel better, it hurt so much. She called me narcissistic for not wanting to talk to her, she said that I hold unnecessary grudges; in reality it seems like I do care. I am only at peace when we’re not talking because we don’t argue and she doesn’t bring up school, but she wants to talk. I am sorry to her for being so mean at times, but it feels like I almost have no control.
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I’ve been in basically the same back and forth pattern with my mom since I was a teen. I’m 28 now and just recently cut her off, possibly for good. I’m three days in and keep getting memories of all the times she did the same thing to me. If I were you? Cut her off unless you need something. Let yourself grow and heal. Unless she’s willing to change, it’ll be like this forever.
Good luck kiddo. You got the strength, you can do this. Hugs