Am i being crazy or too over protective? i feel like nobody understands how i feel. Me & my BF got into a fight rn bc he thinks i think his mother wants to take our baby.But im not saying that. Im just having a really hard time forgiving his mother for her actions in the beginning of my daughter’s life. Because now honestly she’s so much better, but why can’t i forgive her & still have this resentment? I just don’t know what to do, if i should even bring it up to her? It was really hard for me to understand the things she was doing ,also while trying to be a new mom. It made me feel threatened & pushed to the side when it came to my baby. Especially since she knew the relationship i had with my mom, it hurt 10 times more.
An example, when we went to cracker barrel, LO was only 1 month & that was probably the second time we brought her out. Well she has her in her arms & the my bf’s dad said she probably needed a diaper change. So since she has her she takes baby to rr & i take diaper bag. No problem. When we get to the rr, she’s standing in front of changing table with baby while i get pamper & wipes, expecting to changer her myself. she starts changing her & playing with her & doesn’t say anything to me. She didn’t even ask if she could change her. Just pretended like I wasn’t even there. After she was done she went to wash her hands & I immediately picked my baby up. She then asks, “You don’t have to use the rr?”. And I say no. To me I feel like she does this on purpose, to get baby back in her arms again. Why does she do this? I don’t understand why she doesn’t just ask to hold her? Or why she’s always looks so awkward when I’m holding baby. It’s like she ALWAYS wants her.
It was ALL i would think about for the first 3 months of my babies life, until i grew a backbone. I had enough courage to tell her about the always wanting baby & she has gotten better at letting my baby be with me. Even though she still tries to play with her so she can go with her or stroke her leg while next to me.
Everything was okay until recently, we were eating, & i’m feeding baby potatoes in my lap while I eat a burger. LO started getting fussy & she immediately gets up & ask if I want her to get her. And honestly this is a nice gesture & idk why but I made a little face & said let me see if she’s still hungry, but LO wasn’t so I gave LO to MIL. My BF got mad & asked me why i made that face & why is being ugly. & my honest answer is idk. IDK why I still feel resentment for her even though she has gotten so much better from the beginning of barging into our room everytime baby cried. I just need advice, other opinions. Am i being ungrateful? How do i lean into her help? Am I the asshole? It’s causing problems in my relationship & my mental health.
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In future just smile and say, “No thanks MIL, she’s fine with her mama, I’ve got it”
As for the changing table, “Excuse me MIL, can I just ask you to move please so I can access the changing table to change my daughter” then if she offers to do it, “No thanks, I can manage but we will be out soon, you should go sit down and finish your meal before it goes cold”
Rinse and repeat
“he thinks i think his mother wants to take our baby”
—Does she? Even if she’s not saying it?