My baby is 10 months old, and I’m pretty certain I do not have PPD. However, since getting engaged to my now husband, and having our child, I’ve been irritated and have taken a strong disliking to my MIL.
I’m unsure if I was previously blind to her passive aggressive comments before baby, but since giving birth, I’ve become more aware and cautious around her and am able to pick up on little digs and comments here and there.
For instance, we went on holiday together just after our engagement. She ordered bikes for us all, however hired a children’s bike for myself. (I’m 5ft 1 and she thought this was most applicable). At the time I laughed this off, but in hindsight, shit like that she pulls all of the time.
My son’s 1st birthday is coming up, so I have sent a text out of to all of my extended family with the details, just explaining it’s a drop in bbq, no obligation to come, an excuse to see everyone and there will be kiddies entertainment at x time. When I saw MIL, I told her the plans. MIL said she’ll be the one to pass on the details to my husbands uncles, aunties, cousins etc. I said, no that’s ok, we’ll send out the details to everyone as there may be questions and no point being the middle man. MIL said no, she’s send out the text. I found this really strange and quite controlling. She didn’t initially want all of my husbands family attending (they all get on but there are no kiddies on their side). She Said that there will be too many people there and we wouldn’t want that. I disagreed and said we’re happy with a lot of people and that I have invited my side of my family. This was weeks ago, and she’s delayed sending the text and keeps saying she will send it next week.
After an argument with my husband last night, husband text MiL to say we’ll send out the details for our son’s birthday tonight. She replied again saying no, she’ll do it.
This got me so angry! Am I being unreasonable for wanting to just get this organised and arrange myself? For something so laid back and chilled, she’s making things so awkward.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. I have a lot of arguments with my husband over little things like this as he doesn’t see it as controlling or bizarre.
Comments
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP’s needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don’t be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
^(Full Rules) ^(|) ^(Acronym Index) ^(|) ^(Flair Guide)^(|) ^(Report PM Trolls)
Resources: ^(In Crisis?) ^(|) ^(Tips for Protecting Yourself) ^(|) ^(Our Book List) ^(|) ^(Our Wiki)
Welcome to /r/JUSTNOMIL!
I’m botinlaw. I help people follow your posts!
^(To be notified as soon as babymum09 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe babymum09 JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) ^(click here.)
^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please) ^(contact the moderators of this subreddit) ^(if you have any questions or concerns.)
Your child, your house, your organisation – just sent the invite. Don’t let her control what you want to do about your child’s celebration. She can sit and sulk for all you care. Surprised you actually went along with what she requested from you and obliged.
Stand up for you and your little family.
Just politely carry on and do what you want. This is your kid, your party, etc. no reason at all for her to be involved other than as a guest.
She’s trying to be in control, send the message to family inviting them to your drop in BBQ, don’t tell MIL. Tell your husband if she brings it up to say you didn’t want to wait any longer and you can invite your own guests to your own event.
In regards to the passive aggressive comments, some responses can include “what do you mean by that?”, “what an unusual thing to say out loud”, “Was that meant to be hurtful or helpful?” Or simply politely leave the room taking baby with you, especially if she is holding baby. Make her uncomfortable and show her passive aggressive comments aren’t being brushed over or ignored.
In future, MIL is the last to know about events and news. Let her deal with the repercussions of her childish behaviour.
Just send them. It’s your party. I would have already sent them out if I were you.
Not at all, but also, who cares if she says no?
You’re hosting a party for your child, at your house, send the invites to whoever you want.