I’ve known my guy friend for about 5 years. A mutual friend has always dropped heavy hints about getting together with him.
I recently became single. About a week after I meet up with my friends and this guy is there. He hits on me pretty heavily.
I’m taken aback by this shift in behaviour and because we’ve been drinking i’m not sure if he’s just trying to hook up?
I want to see how things progress and if he’s genuinely interested or just swooping in whilst i’m freshly single to try it on.
He starts talking to me a lot more, continues to be touchy feely and compliments me. However he’s inconsistent with communication.
About 6 weeks pass and i’m beginning to get mixed messages. Then this mutual friend casually tells me he’s on dating apps and speaking to other women.
I’m not going to be treated like an option, least of all by a “friend” that knows i’ve been going through a rough time with my ex…
I take a step back to see how he responds and he quickly lets it fizzles out.
Then this mutual friend suggests we go on holiday together. She’s asks if i’ll organise it because she can’t be bothered. Then the next day she puts in the groupchat if this guy will invite his new girlfriend!?
So it will be two couples and me 5th wheeling! I feel quite weirded out by my friend doing this switcheroo on me and I don’t really get what her motive is? Trying to get us together for years.
Anyway I made my excuses and said actually i’m too busy to go… i’m not going to organise this couples holiday for them… Am I overreacting? I also don’t feel comfortable hanging out with him anytime soon…
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Backup of the post’s body: I’ve known my guy friend for about 5 years. A mutual friend has always dropped heavy hints about getting together with him.
I recently became single. About a week after I meet up with my friends and this guy is there. He hits on me pretty heavily.
I’m taken aback by this shift in behaviour and because we’ve been drinking i’m not sure if he’s just trying to hook up?
I want to see how things progress and if he’s genuinely interested or just swooping in whilst i’m freshly single to try it on.
He starts talking to me a lot more, continues to be touchy feely and compliments me. However he’s inconsistent with communication.
About 6 weeks pass and i’m beginning to get mixed messages. Then this mutual friend casually tells me he’s on dating apps and speaking to other women.
I’m not going to be treated like an option, least of all by a “friend” that knows i’ve been going through a rough time with my ex…
I take a step back to see how he responds and he quickly lets it fizzles out.
Then this mutual friend suggests we go on holiday together. She’s asks if i’ll organise it because she can’t be bothered. Then the next day she puts in the groupchat if this guy will invite his new girlfriend!?
So it will be two couples and me 5th wheeling! I feel quite weirded out by my friend doing this switcheroo on me and I don’t really get what her motive is? Trying to get us together for years.
Anyway I made my excuses and said actually i’m too busy to go… i’m not going to organise this couples holiday for them… Am I overreacting? I also don’t feel comfortable hanging out with him anytime soon…
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You’re not overreacting at all. Your instincts are spot on. This guy clearly wasn’t serious about you. That’s not the behavior of someone genuinely interested. As for your mutual friend her behavior is definitely odd. Whether it was just carelessness or something more calculated it’s not considerate. You handled it well by stepping back and declining the trip. There’s no need to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation for people who aren’t prioritizing your feelings. If you don’t feel comfortable hanging out with him right now that’s valid. You don’t owe anyone your presence especially when they haven’t treated you with the same level of thoughtfulness and respect.
Sounds like he was interested at the start but didn’t think you were and just moved on over those 6 weeks. If he’s with someone now then that former interest has likely faded. Presumably your friend was trying to set you up but you clearly weren’t interested and everyone moved past this. You can tag along as a 5th wheel if you want but sounds a little awkward, your call.