This may be a little tmi (sorry if it grosses anyone out, I’m not really sure how to do a proper warning) but earlier at work today when I used the restroom (peed) it was only blood. I was obviously worried and went to the ER even though I didn’t have any real pain. I would normally go to urgent care but there isn’t really one around here that accepts my insurance.
When I explained what happened to the triage nurse she asked if I was menstruating and I responded this was the last day and that it was basically over and that the amount that was in my urine wasn’t only a little, it was completely bright red blood. She rolled her eyes at me and sent me back out to the waiting room.
After waiting two hours I was called back to the exam room and they decided to do a CT to see if I had a kidney stone. When the nurse came to get me he said “sorry to interrupt your knitting session” (I crochet and had a project with me that I decided to work on since I knew the wait would be hours) and then he led me to the CT area while he was on the phone with a personal call (he had one earbud in).
I’m wondering if I should report this or just move on? I feel like they think I’m faking because I’m not in more pain but I have a very high pain tolerance. I also feel like they think I’m just a woman on her period overreacting.
Advice would be appreciated. 🥲
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Backup of the post’s body: This may be a little tmi (sorry if it grosses anyone out, I’m not really sure how to do a proper warning) but earlier at work today when I used the restroom (peed) it was only blood. I was obviously worried and went to the ER even though I didn’t have any real pain. I would normally go to urgent care but there isn’t really one around here that accepts my insurance.
When I explained what happened to the triage nurse she asked if I was menstruating and I responded this was the last day and that it was basically over and that the amount that was in my urine wasn’t only a little, it was completely bright red blood. She rolled her eyes at me and sent me back out to the waiting room.
After waiting two hours I was called back to the exam room and they decided to do a CT to see if I had a kidney stone. When the nurse came to get me he said “sorry to interrupt your knitting session” (I crochet and had a project with me that I decided to work on since I knew the wait would be hours) and then he led me to the CT area while he was on the phone with a personal call (he had one earbud in).
I’m wondering if I should report this or just move on? I feel like they think I’m faking because I’m not in more pain but I have a very high pain tolerance. I also feel like they think I’m just a woman on her period overreacting.
Advice would be appreciated. 🥲
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Can you all someone to be with you? Typically women are treated poorly in medicine, especially at the ER but much better when not alone. If no one can come right now, lie and tell them that you’re partner, siblings, parent, friend are on their way to be with you!
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What would you be reporting? Feeling like you are faking? Personal call in earbud? Or him saying sorry to interrupt your knitting?
I also have a high tolerance for pain and have been in the ER with what turned out to be a kidney stone.
Not sure what the result of your visit was, but hope you’re okay.
I’m older and have been to the emergency room a number of times. I can’t imagine what it’s like to work there but I can imagine it’s a lot of pressure, everyday, hours on end. I don’t care if they don’t make me feel special or seem harried. I’m grateful they help me.
Since you asked. I’d say don’t report.
You can request a survey and definitely fill out any sent to you with details.
I’d ask if there’s a patient experience manager as well, this allows you to file a complaint and it will get to the correct manager and be investigated.
People are allowed bad days, this also lets them know if this behavior is a pattern.
I filed a complaint when I was treated badly as a disabled patient and they reached back out and explained the extra training they were implementing and I was glad I did it because hopefully it improved things for someone else!
You sound young and inexperienced. Shake it off.
The last time I was in the ER I was sent a survey which I completed. I didn’t think I would hear anything back, and I can’t remember her title, but this lady called me and we had a very long conversation. She was a former nurse and she went over everything I said. There were some bad things and there were some good things. Some people there were kind and courteous, and some of them treated me like a piece of meat. Most of them acted like they hated their jobs.
Hope whatever is wrong with you is figured out and you are feeling better ❤️
Anyone telling you not to report would probably lose it if they were treated like that. How you were treated was not ok. No one should be treated as an inconvenience regardless of how busy or crazy it has been. Human decency is a real thing. Now, will anything happen if you complain? Probably not unfortunately. We have evolved into a self centered world where no one else matters.
I once had this happen— bright red pee. Went to the doctor straight away and did the pee in the cup thing. She (yes, SHE!) laughed and told me I was on my period. I looked at her and said “I absolutely am not, I know the difference between a urethra and vagina, this came from my bladder”
Dumbass doctor rolled her eyes and checked the sample with a stick to test protein or something— guess who had a UTI
I feel like a personal call while working breaks soooo many HIPAA rules! No telling what confidential info is bleeding through in the background
Yes you’re overreacting. One person rolled her eyes at you. Another person made a comment which may have been a joke but certainly wasn’t offensive. And you’re being seen after waiting only 2 hours. What harm have you suffered? Toughen up.
In my area, waiting four hours in the ER is normal. Usually, the ER has a testing protocol to follow based on symptoms regardless of what a nurse may think. You could ask if the followed testing and treatment protocol.
Yeah I’d report him. For un professionalism. Like honestly don’t be on a personal phone call when you’re attending someone
Look, from a medical point of view- the menstruation question is fair. You might know, but it behooves the nurse to seek clarity while they are triaging you. There’s plenty of people who come in for ever more obvious things.
The waiting time is fine.
The project question may have been a little joke, who knows.
Being on a personal phone call was absolutely uncool.
It’s always best to provide feedback if you’re unhappy.
It’s not about thinking you’re faking at all.
NOR. This sounds about right for how women can expect to be treated in such a situation but it’s wrong.
Any blood in urine in the absence of a UTI needs to be investigated thoroughly. Even one incidence can indicate a serious problem. (I had a bladder issue that involved a lot of testing. I know more about bladder cancer and blood in pee than I ever needed to. Thankfully that ended up not being my issue.)
That said I don’t think you really have anything to report. “These people are a bunch of condescending assholes” doesn’t violate any laws. Do not get me wrong, they are absolute assholes, they are wrong, and they are a great reminder of the fact that a bunch of your high school bullies probably went into nursing. And if you’re not too concerned about any particular outcome, you might as well. But I wouldn’t get your hopes up about anything happening regarding it.
Also in the future, peeing blood is serious but probably not an emergency, unless it’s “I might bleed to death” amounts of blood. If it happens again (and ye gods I hope it doesn’t because who the hell needs that in their life), you’re better off waiting til morning and seeing your GP if you have one. Hopefully they’d treat you better there. Sucks you don’t have an urgent care you can use, insurance is such bullshit.
Once I went to the ER after I had lost a ton of blood through my cycle, and I was starting to feel weird. They didn’t really care much either, and my blood work came back low but not abnormal. I told them next time I would come back in the middle of me losing all that blood rather than after. Maybe if they saw the amount of blood that came out they would care? Probably not.
I think unless you’re presenting with clear signs and symptoms of emergency, they just don’t care that much.
I hate going to the er for this reason.
When people are extremely ride to me, it pisses me off me off so badly.
Here’s a little story of why i don’t like the er, but i try not to let it bother me.
During the peek of covid, i was sent to the hospital my oxygen was low, my lips were blue and my fever was 104. I was put in a big room that was sectioned off by curtains. There was a person in the bed across from mine, I thought that they were asleep untill the funeral home came to pick up the body. The man in the bed beside mine coughed so hard for so long that he gasped for breath for a while and eventually died. It was 3 hours before I was hooked up to oxygen and an iv. I politely asked the nurse what took so long, and she told me that they had several people die from Covid that day and a couple of kids were hurt badly in a crash and died.
Peeing blood vs ⚖️ trying to actually save a life….
On the other hand I typically call people out immediately for being bitchy or mistreating me. I love when they try to back track and say “that’s not what I meant”…
Sorry for the weird wording, I wasn’t complaining about the wait time, it was supposed to be more of a timeline thing🥲 I wasn’t meaning how dare they make me wait, I was really only upset about the eye rolling and the personal phone call but I know I can be more sensitive about this kind of thing due to past experiences in healthcare.
Does your insurance have an app? Some of them have a survey function. Definitely report this.
I’m sorry this has happened to you. I would always just remind folks that these nurses are human too and they can be having a very bad and very traumatic week, more likely than most because of their work environment.
Even with the best intentions and biggest hearts not everyone can always smile through the experiences we go through. It’s ultimately up to you if you want to report them but I would suggest making that decision through a compassionate filter. We need ER nurses and they are getting harder and harder to come by.
Generally, women get shittier treatment in medical settings. Their pain is assumed to be exaggerated, the length and severity of their symptoms is assumed to be exaggerated…and the shitty treatment is even worse for other-than-white women.
It’s ridiculous, and this shitty medical misogyny permanently injures and kills women who would otherwise recover from/survive illness or injury.
Something similar happened to me. I was urinating blood for WEEKS. Doctors kept giving me antibiotics despite not having any infection. One doctor also said it was just my period.
I finally demanded more testing. They did a CT. I had a small tumor. So they did a bladder scope to confirm. Then a surgery.
Guess who had bladder cancer. It was me.
My point in saying this is not to scare you but to always advise sticking up for yourself. Especially in medical situations.
I’d definitely report the nurse who was on a personal call. If you’re in the US, that could be a HIPPA violation.
I hate seeing doctors or going in for anything for this very reason. I’m sorry you have been treated poorly. I hope you do get real answers though. Keep us updated. And good luck!
Find the patient advocate
Even if it turns out to be something minor, the staff should’ve taken your concern seriously
You deserve to feel respected, not like you’re being dismissed
Some people get red urine from eating beets. Not necessarily relevant here, but could save someone a visit.
I’m sorry you experienced that.
I had similar symptoms in the past. I had blood in my urine and went to the MiniteClinic at CVS. (It was a Saturday afternoon and I didn’t want to have to wait at an urgent care center – plus it was much less expensive).
The nurse had me give a sample of urine (which was bright red) and determined I had a UTI.
They gave me a high dose of antibiotics – which eliminated the infection – and told me to follow up with my primary doctor.
As a woman, I have been dismissed so so so many times in an ER. Oddly, more often by female nurses than anyone else.
Report the triage nurse and the other nurse dor being on a phone call, that’s a huge patient privacy issue. Don’t bring up the “knitting comment”. Eta- the personal call is huge HIPAA violation if you are in the USA as the person on the other end is not privvy to your private information which they can hear.
Definitely report it. No patient should be treated that way. And while it may not lead to much on its own, enough complaints from different people will lend a lot of weight against him.
Don’t be like me, who left the hospital with a kidney infection that bypassed my urethra soon after giving birth because I suck at self advocacy >.<
I agree with the other comments here and I wanted to address the CT nurse being on the phone.
Taking a personal call while providing care to a patient is NOT OK. I respect the work the nurses are doing and I know they are often multitasking, but their focus should be on YOU as much as possible.
I’m wondering if the phonecall could even be considered a breach of HIPAA? The person on the other end of the call might be able to hear you (the patient) in which case this wouldn’t be a confidential environment.
I am chronically ill and I’m in the hospital all the time, and I really appreciate the nurses and doctors and how hard they work, but we as patients also deserve a standard of care. I’m sorry you experienced this treatment. I feel like it’s worth it to make a complaint to alert them they may need to revisit some of their procedures.
Yes, absolutely report!
Ugh, that’s so infuriating! It’s awful how often women’s concerns are dismissed as “just their period.” Good for you for standing your ground, and I’m glad you got the correct diagnosis, even if you had to fight for it. this exactly why the Op’s experience is so frustrating and worth reporting.
I just wanted to tell one of my ER stories. In this case my PCP was grossly negligent and it almost killed me. In desperation I got my husband to take me to the ER. By then I was semi-delirious with the worst headache imaginable and could not stand up much less walk. In I go in a wheelchair borrowed from the hospital. I don’t remember much about the visit, but we were there through the night while many tests were run. Everything was essentially normal but I was clearly extremely sick.
The attending ER physician, unlike my PCP, believed me and knew something was horribly wrong. She said I must be seen by a neurologist STAT and arranged for me to have an appointment later that same day. Long story short the neurologist ran MRVs and found blood clots in my brain. I was immediately started on Eliquis (which I’ll likely be on the rest of my life) and was given a barbiturate for the unbearable headache. 15 minutes after taking the barbiturate the headache began to subside. I almost cried with relief! After about 3 weeks I was able to wean off the opioid and found relief with Naproxen.
The ER doc and the neurologist literally saved my life that weekend. I will be forever grateful. Incidentally, the PCP took retirement soon after, which was long overdue. If I’d listened to him I’d certainly be dead right now.
Just to share my own experience very recently. In the last 2 weeks, 3 different family members have been to the same ER.
I actually went first. My issue wasn’t menstruation related but still, you’ll notice the difference in treatment.
Approx 6pm I went to the ER in absolute horrible pain in my left arm. In addition to numbness, tingling, complete loss of grip and could not lift my arm at all. When I breathed, it felt like my shoulder blade was stabbing my lung. I was crying silently bcuz it caused even more pain if I did cry. My husband was with me the entire time. It was actually him that demanded I go to the ER bcuz it had been like that for 3 days already….
(I am SO one of those people that are all, “I’m fine, I’ll be aight.” I also have an extremely high pain tolerance and will refuse until I can’t move anymore, which is essentially the case here.) After waiting entirely too long to go to triage, the nurse was extremely rude and rolled her eyes bcuz I wasn’t screaming and crying in pain…put on my chart not in any acute distress. Obviously, that bumped me way back on the list bcuz my issue wasn’t as bad. After a 3 hour wait, I was taken to a bed IN THE HALLWAY. I did finally see only a Dr, who was at least female. However, she didn’t touch me or examine me or anything!! Just asked questions! No vitals, no regular exam, not a single thing! Then attempted to prescribe me meds I’m already on!!! I literally left with a sling I had to ask for and a Z pack of steroids. Not a single pain med, muscle relaxer, not nothing. Told me I needed an MRI but it wasn’t an emergency so call my Dr. (Who already knew and literally said, oh ok.”)
Have to take 15M to ER for some stitches. They swooped him right on in!! About 1pm, 2 days after my visit. He got a room, blood work, the works. I do get the difference in care for this.
Yesterday. 10pm. Hubby has a TOOTHACHE. (I had to have all my teeth pulled and get dentures so I TOTALLY understand tooth pain way more than he does even.) He gets right into a room but the wait for the dr is a bit long. Dr comes in, hubby gets an actual DENTAL BLOCK AT THE ER, pain med injection and antibiotics while there, plus called in.
Like…..bcuz I’m a woman??
You can report it but I doubt anyone will care. Women are treated horribly by doctors and nurses, especially in the ER. I was once in the ER for a TIA (mini stroke) and the male doctor said it was “just a panic attack and I should relax more”. Years earlier I had another ER visit because I was bitten by a spider and had a horrible reaction, where my face swelled up like a basketball. That doctor asked what brand of makeup I wore and refused to believe I literally saw the spider.
Best you can do is insist on an advocate to be with you at all times (although they’ll briefly separate you to make sure you are safe at home).
My anesthesiologist was texting during my c section and i remember being so floored. Like excuse me how dare you sir
Yes. Definitely let the hospital know. Both nurses were unprofessional at best.
Frank blood in the urine is NOT good. That is potentially quite serious. I’m coming on 8 hours after you posted, so I hope they have figured out what’s going on and that it’s easily dealt with.
Report them, I’m truly disgusted by their behavior,
I find the magic words are “please can you write exactly why in my notes you are refusing me investigations and treatment. Please, then call a colleague as I demand a second opinion, as is my right”.
My colleague told me the other day that when she was giving birth, she was “making too much noise” and they locked her in a room. LOCKED HER IN A ROOM. Honestly, women’s pain is often dismissed and it’s not right.
Nurse here. Former ER nurse. They absolutely should have treated you with the courtesy and respect you deserve. The eye rolling is completely unacceptable. I’m sorry you were treated that way.
I’m sure the nurses were having a bad day as being a nurse (especially an ER nurse), you are chronically understaffed and expected to do the job of a nurse, waitress & maid. & not only that, you are expected to do it all with a smile on your face after having just been lunged at, spit on, or losing a patient. It’s easy to become jaded.
All that to say, I’m sure they didn’t mean it personally. Still no excuse for their behavior. Just wanted to share a little perspective.
My toddler ripped my gj tube out of my intestines. They made me sit in the er for 6 hours. Admitted me, sent me home next am saying they didnt have a doc that could help. Had to go home with it taped on to my abdomen for three days. By the time they had me come back to the er to fix it, they complained that the hole already closed and It was MY FAULT, for leaving it out too long.
The past couple of years, it seems like medical staff care less about our health. Maybe they are suffering from compassion fatigue, I don’t know, but I wish I lived where medical staff cared about my well-being
if you have kidney stones you will get blood in your pee. if you have a uti. you will also get blood in your pee. get a second opinion
i hate it when medical people ignore what woman say and blow you off. i’m glad you got treatment for it. i have been dealing with kidney stones since i was eighteen. get a urologist they can determine what is causing them and will tell you what to avoid eating or drinking. to keep them moving drink plenty of fluids and exercise regularly
Please please follow up with a urologist. My sister has had bladder cancer for years and peeing blood was the first, and only, symptom.
I really hate it when doctors act like I’m an idiot and don’t know my own body. So frustrating.
You should definitely report the nurse being on a personal call while also doing patient care. That’s sadly going to be the only thing the higher-ups care about.
ETA: unless of course you get a patient satisfaction survey after this. Then give em hell and they WILL care. Metrics are taken very seriously.
No, you are not overreacting. Call the Operator for the hospital and ask for the patient advocate. Let them know the dismissive way you were treated. They will take your information and review the staff that worked with you. That is unacceptable. I work in a hospital, that is our process.
As someone with a male body, it fckin’ enrages me how dismissive medical professionals are to others. Meanwhile any time I’ve gone to the ER/doctors office/what-have-you I’m practically treated like a wounded puppy…
You can call their Quality and Risk Department and make a complaint. Also, if you get a survey, be brutally honest. The survey is a part of their quality scores for federal reimbursements and many organizations take them very seriously.
As long as they are running the tests what they think is irrelevant. But you’re free to ask them why they are being so dismissive. You can be blunt “I find your attitude towards my concerning medical issue confusing, do you have a problem treating me? Would you like your supervisor to find someone else so you wont be bothered?” That will shut them the fuck up. No one likes being told outright they are doing a shitty job at work.
I see the healthcare world isn’t getting any better through the years. 🥺 Cases in point.:
I have many horror stories. But case in point, keep advocating for yourself. And people who are in the healthcare “business” cannot put patient care first need new jobs.