I’m going to make this as short as possible. I’m gay, my wife has been friends with this person for 45 years. She and I have been friends for 35 years. She introduced us 32 years ago and we have been together ever since. We have an adopted child that is trans. This child thinks of her as his aunt. I ended our friendship because she supports trump. In my mind that is the same as telling your Jewish friend that you don’t agree with everything hitler says but you still support him.
Am I the AH for ending a 35+ year friendship over politics?
r/AITAH
Comments
Who cares if you’re an asshole? Who’s calling you an asshole and does their opinion truly matter to you?
Not the asshole. Here’s what’s up, and this may be a hot take, step away from anyone at anytime for any reason as long as it’s a reason you can live with. Me personally, I would have done the same. I can’t imagine just ignoring so much of this in order to support him. It paints them as a person they may not even necessarily want to be. But that’s the choice they made.
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NTA. You can disagree over politics, but you can’t disagree on the right for every human to exist.
NTA. My wife and I have also ended friendships with Trump supporters.
NTA. If not now, then when?
NTA. Even if you can “disagree over politics” with someone – your first job is to protect your child.
You can’t protect your child when they support people who hate your child.
That is over politics. That is over an entire value system. NTA
Yta. It’s nothing like Hitler and the Jews, to even take it to there makes you the a-hole. How many millions has Trump taken and killed, just curious? Shame on you for making that comparison at all. As a Jew, I can tell you 100% he’s nowhere in the same universe as Hitler, shouldn’t be compared to that, and saying that is an insult.
NTA, I’d do the same thing.
NTA The tolerance paradox is really hard for some people to understand.
Not the asshole. Trump is off limits, and I’m sick of people acting as if he’s just another nuanced opinion.
Disagreeing over a tax rate or where to build a school is politics.
Protect and love ur family.
I have a married, gay sibling and a spouse from another country. I’ve ended relationships with ppl, including family, who support Trump policies that are purposely aimed at these loved ones.
NTA
If their political alignment is more important than the friendship is it even a real friendship? They like Cheeto. That isn’t the same as hating your kid.
Do you even need to ask lmao NTA
Nope. I’ve ended lifelong familial relationships over the same sort of hatred. (What we’re seeing right now is not simply politics)
Nta her support of trump has real
Consequences for you and your family
Yep, you’re definitely the AH. This is what is wrong with so many Americans. So many of you are too weak and fragile to have a relationship with someone who holds different views and opinions.
I’m not Trump fan. But comparing support for Trump with support for Hitler is lunacy, and an insult to his millions of victims.
NTA
You need to stand by your child and your family, not some bigot you thought you knew
I have always had friends across every political and religious spectrum.
I draw the line at Trump supporters because there is a limit to the hateful and vicious idiocy that I can tolerate.
NTA. This isn’t just about politics.
Since Trump the divide between left and right has not been so profound as much as it’s not about politics anymore, but about core moral values. There’s nothing wrong with setting boundaries and distancing yourself from people who don’t share them, or worse, whose views are at odds with your children’s very existence.
YTA. I don’t like Trump, but that’s not a legitimate reason to end a relationship. Half of the country voted for the guy. Do you honestly believe half of the country is evil? That’s ludicrous.
That’s not a political disagreement. That’s a moral disagreement.
I despise everything about the MAGA movement but if someone simply supports Trump but doesn’t say much and is polite, I could accept that. I have relatives who voted for him.
It’s another thing to not be friends with someone who’s a jerk about politics.
YTA. Shortsighted and foolish.
Politics have reached to far into our personal lives. This is why I void them from my life. I will vote YTA. Im getting down voted to oblivion but whatever.
Y100%TA for ending a 35+ year friendship over politics.
NTA. We know who the asshole is ✊
You’re not ending the friendship over politics, you’re ending the friendship because you found out she’s a piece of shit and you’re protecting your child from her.
“I’m not a bigot! But, it doesn’t bother me when the people I support are… why can’t we still be friends?” That’s the best case scenario Trump supporter… the BEST case. So, no. You did the right thing.
NTA. the time to reason with MAGA is gone. i didn’t think there were any good excuses to vote for him the first two times, but this time? fascism is here and even if they somehow rationalized it before the election, there’s not much room left for nuance at this point. does she need to see your family kidnapped and sent to a foreign country before she gets it? that’s not a friend at all.
I would say it depends on what ‘support’ means. Voting for him over Harris counts as support, but not grounds to end a friendship over (though you’ve not said how strong that friendship was).
If they were aligned with his views in general in a way that was so distasteful to you, you would have found that out a long time ago.
You are a complete IDIOT. You ended a lifelong friendship because they support someone politically that you don’t? Honestly, they are the ones benefiting, because they no longer have a judgemental, arrogant, piece of shit friend in their life. I have several friends who believe opposite of what I do, I could give a rats ass…and same for them. Congrats for being a shitty friend. (I can’t wait to see how many Liberals downvote this)
YTA he is not hitler that is propaganda that’s being spoon fed to you and half the country supports him. This is why we’re in such a bad place because we’ve stopped listening to each other and people just cutting off friends and family who have different views is crazy and so anti American.
Wow. So much hate here. Who gives a fuck who you vote for when it comes to friendship. If you respect each other, treat each other good who really cares. My folks and my aunt and uncle are polar opposites when it comes to politics. They have actively made an agreement not to talk about politics…. Ever. They all have always been close. And they still are. I guess it all just depends on what’s important. And if you can’t at least respect your friends for who they are and not who they voted for then I guess do whatever. You can say Trump voters are bad and you hope they rot in hell, people can say the same for the other side. No one is 100% right and it’s not fair for one side to say to the other you hope bad things happen to them. That makes you worse than the people who voted against you. That goes for both sides. Grow up people!
I have ended a friendship few months ago when I found out an idiot friend voted for trump.
Honestly yeah YTAH. As long as they’re not spouting harmful things to you or your family, politics do not need to be involved in relationships! This is exactly what breaks them up. Not a trump supporter whatsoever but sometimes you’ll meet people who are and it doesn’t mean they support every thing he does or everything you do. Your choice though
YTA: Mostly for the bait and knowing that the post is going to locked down for the politicized nonsense and virtue signaling.
YTA
But this is America and it’s your right to be one.
YTA. She’s obviously an ally. Ruined a friendship over politicians that don’t care about anyone on either side. Do you think the old ass dems wouldn’t revoke your right to marriage if they could. Lmao I’ve seen way more homophobic and racist dems
Sounds like a lucky escape for your friend.
NTA. I know Trump is a OPS, but let’s not go as far as to say that America has allowed their leader to literally commit mass Genocide against a race of people. Trump is horrible but he’s NOT Hittler.
NTA. You didn’t end the friendship because of politics. You are a living, breathing person, and this friend told you that they don’t give a flying rat carcass about your needs and the stress your family is going through. So, no. You are NTA. As someone who did the same thing a bit over a year ago, you’re life will be so much less stressful.
It’s not about politics. You probably would have never been their friend if they showed their true self.
Yta do what you want but people arent going to agree with you so if you cut off everyone who disagrees it will be pretty lonely. Also how far does that extend if a dem votrs against trans in sport are you cutting them off i doubt it. Youre not getting brownie points and the reddit people will not be there in times of crisis, friends are.
Ur wife, sheesh
I wouldn’t call this ending a friendship over politics. When you are threatening the existence of others, or violence, that is not a political point of view. Supporting someone who agrees with these views, means you are okay with it as well. How could you be friends with someone who at the least, wouldn’t care if anyone in the LGBTQ+ community was harmed?
Time to go, bye bye Auntie!
NTA. A
YTA. What if they dumped you for voting for someone?
NTA fuck nazi fucks and fuck their supporters.
IT IS NOT ABOUT POLITICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nta. trump is a plague, and so are his bootlickers. the hateful rhetoric should have no safe place.
So I’ll preface by saying I’m not very political; I didn’t vote in last 3 presidential elections because I really just think all politicans are awful and don’t believe anything any of them say. With that said, what do you think you will accomplish by doing this?
Do you think the person you knew for 35 years and who is basically an aunt to your child has secretly been evil this whole time and she finally slipped up by admitting who she voted for? Do you really think this person is someone you need to protect daughter from just because they voted “wrong”? Has she ever done anything in 35 years to give any impression she’s a negative to your daughter or is this all just based on one time voting?
Or is it that you think this threat will make her reconsider her choices and 4 years from now she can be your friend if she votes for who you want her to? What if the candidates are more “standard”? Can she redeem herself then or does she have to wait until you find another candidate you think is evil that she then can vote against to get back in your good graces?
Or maybe you are just angry that Trump won and youre lashing out “kicking the dog” just to try to hurt someone who you can “blame”?
I think blowing up a 35 year relationship because the way someone voted sounds ludicrous to me but both sides seem to hate eachother enough these days I’m sure you’ll get support here.
Politics will change but you’re going to regret the loss of your friend going forward. 100% TAH
it’s so sad to see people get so upset over politics. You are doing exactly as they want you to do. They want you to hate the other side so much that you’ll vote for “your team” without questioning anything they do. It’s a classic tactic.
Let me let you in on a little secret. Both parties are corrupt. Both parties only care about obtaining and maintaining power. Both parties serve the rich elites who fund their campaigns, and neither of them gives a rats ass about you or I.
It seems so silly to end friendships over these scumbags but that’s just me.
Yea. You are the asshole
Does the”aunt” treat the child like shit? You guys made her an “aunt” for a reason. Been friends for over 3 decades for a reason.
Nta. Trump is evil, and his policies are hurting people. Good people dont support him.
NTA you can end any relationship for whatever reason you’re want
I will say your reason is pretty weak unless this person openly called you or your daughter out. Granted a LOT of trump supporters hate trans people for literally o reason not all of them do. Perhaps your friends was fooled into his charade about border BS or taxes or one of the other million made up promises he made.
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Nope!
Someone once said politics is fighting with people you love and care about about people that will never know you exist, that really stuck with me. I’ve never in my adult life voted because I’ve never seen anyone worthy of voting for i also don’t feel that my vote matters thanks to the electoral colleges and that I do not tend to lean more right or more left so if im not voting for the big 2 it REALLY doesn’t matter, i typically don’t care who the president is because people are gonna complain for 4 years no matter who it is. But even i as someone who just wants to stay in my bubble, unfortunately can not ignore everything. We’ve got waaaayyy too much horrible shit going on to turn a blind eye to and if your friend can’t see all the negatives and at least say something SOMETHING that indicates that this is not the america she wants oh well people have ended friendships for less
Politics aren’t something you can split from every day life. It refects everything you experience. In conclusion, I think politics are one of the most legitimate reasons to discriminate.
I don’t talk about politics n religion,it never ends well
Yeah, you’re the asshole.
Sorry I have to be the one to tell you that but you just ended the friendship because they weren’t in your tribe….
NTA. I cut out a lot of people over politics. We can disagree on policy but we cannot disagree on what is basic morals, ethics and decency. At this point not seeing that voting for Trump was a moral choice is either stupidity or ignorance. And neither one are on the list of qualities I want to see in a friend.
When people say don’t end a friendship over politics, they are really saying don’t end a friendship over debates within our political system – the political system of a Democratic Republic.
Trump is a fascist. I know that gets bandied around by extremes on both sides of the political spectrum (which is a horseshoe these days in terms of many of their feelings about BIPOC and LGBTQIA perspectives), but I’m talking about the historical and academic definition of the term.
You aren’t ending a friendship over politics, you are ending it over deeply fundamental differences in morals and values. Over your definitions over what is good and evil. Over your need and ability to protect your child, while “Auntie” is actively going against the safety of you, your wife, and your child. I think that it would be fair if you WEREN’T an LGBTQIA family in any way shape or form as well, FYI – but again, I think it was a moral imperitive to protect your child from that kind of rhetoric coming from a supposedly trusted adult.
Your analogy was apt – but if she is contacting you, I’d flip it “You are asking a Jewish person to maintain a friendship with someone who joined the Nazi party, knowing full well about the Final Solution”
I won’t associate with human beings that support America’s descent into authoritarianism, just like I wouldn’t have associated with Nazis 90 years ago.
NTA-bro there are somethings you don’t just compromise
It’s very unclear here who is whom. She could be anyone. If you have totally opposing views its not possible to get on.
absolutely you are the ah
“Child that is trans…” Ya ok whatever
YTA not for wanting to protect your child, but for just discarding your friend over what?
You say “supports Trump” but didn’t describe your friend being unsupportive of you and your family.
I support some issues on both sides. Yes, that means I don’t support some positions on both sides. As an adult, I can discuss policies I support and policies I don’t approve. You are just throwing the friendship away without discussion. You are coming off as the extreme one here.
So childish. Politics really?
Well you definitely came to the right social media site to get the answer you want to hear.
NTA. It’s fine to “agree to disagree” on politics when you’re talking about tax rates, or climate policy, or things of that nature. When one side decides a group of people shouldn’t be allowed to exist and actively work to create policies that work towards that end that’s a different situation.
Nope!
NTA, politics is the measure of how you would arrange the system given the power to do so. If you’re ok with a broken system or desire an even more broken system, they aren’t, at their core, someone you can’t trust if you were in the “out group”.. there is no reconciliation between certain ideals. “X people shouldn’t exist, or should be second class,” or any variant thereof, shouldn’t be tolerated, but that’s only my opinion. Take it how you will.
NTA. MAGA isn’t a political party. It’s a hate group.
So you’d tank a friendship over some bullshit politics, no one has control over? Sounds like they are better off without your dumb ass!🤷🏼♂️