Am I the asshole for being upset for the growing demands on me while I am pregnant with twins?
I am currently 22 weeks pregnant with twin girls.
So I live in my mother in laws (50 years old) house. 6,000 sq feet house.
We pay 1000 month in rent for my husband (31 years old) myself (30 years old) and our 3 boys ages( 3, 2 and 1) to MIL.
I also use my benefits SNAP to get us food for everyone.
I clean and cook every day.
I also feed all 29 chickens.
I do everyone’s laundry.
I just don’t put up my mother in laws laundry.
I clean every part of the house but her room and bathroom.
I also tend the garden and all the plotted plants.
Now ,my mother in law demands I also water the chickens.
However, every time I go inside the coop I get attacked by one rooster.
She is also demanding that I put up her laundry for her because she has a broken foot and claims she can’t do it herself.
I have PGP( Pelvic Girdle Pain) it is where my pelvic bones are literally rubbing up together when I walk.
It is already getting hard to do everything I already do.
I am not really suppose to pick up laundry baskets or go up and down stairs or carry my babies or even take out the trash according to my doctor’s.
However, I do it anyways because stuff has to get done. That is how I contribute to the house since I am a SAHM.
This is the first time I ever been one. I use to work as a teacher but got laid off after finding out I was pregnant.
Now don’t get me wrong, I believe in pulling my weight and doing my part but why does it feel like I am always expected to keep doing more than I already do. Am I not already pulling my part of the weight?
So Reddit AITA for being upset about more expectations on me while I am pregnant with twins or should I just suck it up and do the extra more things.
Comments
Your husband needs to step up, and you need to listen to medical advice above anything or anyone else.
NTA. You already do too much. Heed the doctor’s advice. What does your husband do? Does he help? You need at least an hour a day complete rest.
You MIL is out of line. Idk where you live, but where I’m from $1,000 a month is almost as much as rent costs in some places. You’re practically paying for the whole house, on top of doing all the chores while being pregnant. You’re growing 2 children and need to be able rest. Especially once the pregnancy progresses further.
YTA for having more kids when you are already on public assistance.
What does your husband do? Does he contribute to any of the house chores at all or is it all on you?
YTA if you keep having more children while living in this environment with three small kids already and on public assistance.
Where are you located? A 19 year old mom doesn’t usually end up with a 6k square foot house in the U.S., and having kids back to back to back to back/double time is a LOT. (And I’m a twin mom, I know just one twin pregnancy is a lot, I can’t imagine having three under three as well.) Is this a cultural norm where you are?
Wait, you’re in the U.S.? This is really far-fetched then or is fake/AI.
NTA but your husband is. Why isn’t he stepping up to do anything? Unless he is working 80 hours or more a week, he needs to start taking on most of these chores while you are under DOCTOR’S ORDERS not to do any of those things.
Ummm you know you aren’t supposed to be around live chickens while you are pregnant? They carry disease that is bad for pregnant women and their poo is really toxic.
And you need to listen to your doctor and screw MIL. Where is your husband in all this? You are paying rent. You aren’t there out of the goodness of her heart. She’s making out like a bandit and getting full maid service in the process.
Is there anywhere else you can go? A small apartment, a parent, a family member, anyone?
YTA – why are you having kids with a man who clearly doesn’t contribute ???? jfc
You ever hear of birth control? wtf are you going to do if the MIL puts you out?
I don’t know where you live but $1000 a month for all those people is nothing. I mean my utilities alone would cost that for 6000sq ft. Also why would you be getting benefits with such low rent and your husband working full time? I don’t know I would be pretty thankful to your mother in law for taking all of you in plus two more coming for only 1k a month?? That’s really unheard of. However that’s the deal she made and you do not have to do her laundry while you are pregnant. Your husband will either have to do it or have it done some where so imo you are NTA but I think you really need to give her a little grace with how generous she’s being.
You’re pregnant with twins! Heed your doctor’s advice!
Where is your husband??
Get some backup and get MILto back off.
You’re doing way too much, especially at this point with twins.
NTA
YTA. Stop having children you cannot handle, and stop biting the hand that feeds you. If you don’t like mother in law’s terms, you can get the hell out.
Listen to ur doctor and if anyone complains repeat what they told u. U care for 3 children and soon to be two more. Is putting up ur MIL laundry and being around the chickens worth risking ur health and being unable to continue to care for ur family? No.
Your hub needs to step up before you end up on “ total bedrest” either mandatory by Dr or self imposed but with drs help 😂✌🏼
Stop doing everything, ask your Dr for a note to hand MIL.
Your husband either needs to help more, yes I know he works but you’re kind of disabled right now, or he needs to but HIS mother in her place and let her know you’re also disabled right now and you are not her slave.
This is AI.
Nta. Popping out a kid every year is really rough on your body. Two at once is even harder. Consider taking a break for a few years after these two and letting your body fully heal.
Ditch the husband and mil and move somewhere else. You have two less mouths to feed and 29 less chickens.
You also need to stop miss using your snap benefits. You don’t want to find that yanked out from under you.
nta. i’m sorry op but you need to stop putting up with mil’s bullshit, esp since your doctor said you shouldn’t be doing certain things- this could possibly hurt you or the twins and it needs to stop. secondly, your husband. where is he? the fact you’re raising three children and being a maid for your mil is ridiculous, you need to have a convo with him and set boundaries. it doesn’t matter if he works all day he still needs to help out when he gets home or on his days off, he needs to have a convo with his mother. the fact that this is even a problem irks me.
Girl you need to move. You are her slave. Your husband already says rent and you buy groceries? Hope she stubs her other pinky toe. What a shit human.
PGP is no joke. I might not be a woman but I was diagnosed with it decades ago. I stopped lifting heavy stuff and so should you. Your MIL is TAH for making you do everything. And why isn’t your breeder bull of a husband help with puting up laundry – yours, hers?? Does he have PGP too?
I understand you don’t get around well and are not pain free. Also sucks that you got laid off. I’d investigate the legalities of your layoff.
You obviously aren’t happy with MIL requirements to live there for 1k/month.
Why don’t you move out and you won’t have to do all the work that you are complaining about?
It sounds like you guys are making up for that very cheap rent with your labor.
If you all can afford it, you should move out.
NTA, and for the love of Gid – FOLLOW YOUR DOCTOR’S ORDERS!!! Stop the lifting and anything else your Dr told you not to do. You are risking serious issues, here. Your husband can step up and your MIL can suck it.