Okay so there’s a lot of context I need to get out of the way before I get into the story. Me (25f) and my younger brother (23) are not close WHATSOEVER. (We were best friends growing up, used to be very close) But when I say not close, I mean I will text him to come over and he just doesn’t reply. We’ve never had a falling out or anything I really don’t know why he never responds. We’ve gone YEARS without even speaking honestly.
Anyways, If I ever want to see him I would have to communicate through his girlfriend (22f) to plan any get togethers, dinners, etc. Over the past year me and his gf have gotten super close and turns out we have a lot in common and have become really good friends.
Well, over a month ago he broke up with her because she was texting another guy. (Now, I don’t agree that what she did was right but I personally don’t feel it was worthy of a breakup after they had been together for 5 years.) So now my brother decides to drive up to my older brothers (30) house to stay with him and his gf.
Here’s where he thinks I’m the asshole. So while my younger brother had gone to my older brothers house, his (now ex) gf decided to come over to my house and stay with me, my husband (30) and our daughter(aka her niece)(3). My brother then texts her immediately as she pulls up to my house and says “Why are you at my sisters?” (Keep in mind, right before he went to my older brothers house he called his (now ex) a whore and said he’s done with her forever so I didn’t think he’d still be checking her location.)
I truly didn’t think he would care about her being at my house because like I said we don’t have any type of relationship whatsoever. Also, he doesn’t even care about seeing his niece whereas his (now ex) LOVES my daughter and really enjoys spending time with her.
So then my brother ends up texting me telling me how weird it is for letting her stay with me after she just cheated on him and that he’s never going to speak to me again. (It was honestly the most he’d ever texted me)
The whole time she was at my house we made crafts with clay, watched movies, and I got her some food because I know she hadn’t eaten for a few days. It was honestly just fun girl time to try and get her mind off of being heartbroken.
So what do you think, am I the asshole?
(Also to add, they are currently back together but he still refuses to speak to me because I let her stay at my house after he broke up with her.)
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Backup of the post’s body: Okay so there’s a lot of context I need to get out of the way before I get into the story. Me (25f) and my younger brother (23) are not close WHATSOEVER. (We were best friends growing up, used to be very close) But when I say not close, I mean I will text him to come over and he just doesn’t reply. We’ve never had a falling out or anything I really don’t know why he never responds. We’ve gone YEARS without even speaking honestly.
Anyways, If I ever want to see him I would have to communicate through his girlfriend (22f) to plan any get togethers, dinners, etc. Over the past year me and his gf have gotten super close and turns out we have a lot in common and have become really good friends.
Well, over a month ago he broke up with her because she was texting another guy. (Now, I don’t agree that what she did was right but I personally don’t feel it was worthy of a breakup after they had been together for 5 years.) So now my brother decides to drive up to my older brothers (30) house to stay with him and his gf.
Here’s where he thinks I’m the asshole. So while my younger brother had gone to my older brothers house, his (now ex) gf decided to come over to my house and stay with me, my husband (30) and our daughter(aka her niece)(3). My brother then texts her immediately as she pulls up to my house and says “Why are you at my sisters?” (Keep in mind, right before he went to my older brothers house he called his (now ex) a whore and said he’s done with her forever so I didn’t think he’d still be checking her location.)
I truly didn’t think he would care about her being at my house because like I said we don’t have any type of relationship whatsoever. Also, he doesn’t even care about seeing his niece whereas his (now ex) LOVES my daughter and really enjoys spending time with her.
So then my brother ends up texting me telling me how weird it is for letting her stay with me after she just cheated on him and that he’s never going to speak to me again. (It was honestly the most he’d ever texted me)
The whole time she was at my house we made crafts with clay, watched movies, and I got her some food because I know she hadn’t eaten for a few days. It was honestly just fun girl time to try and get her mind off of being heartbroken.
So what do you think, am I the asshole?
(Also to add, they are currently back together but he still refuses to speak to me because I let her stay at my house after he broke up with her.)
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Not the asshole at all. I dont why he gives a fuck. He also knows youre close friends.
he’s back with her but is mad at you? okay buddy. NTA.
YTA – technically but whatever. You don’t owe your brother shit. It’s not like he’s talking to you anyways.
Never going to speak to you again? So basically he said he will keep the status quo? Not like it changes anything in your world…if he wants to throw a fit like a petulant toddler, then he can carry on with his bad self….🤣😂
NTA but your brother is one.
He broke up with her. You didn’t. You are an adult and can choose who you want to be friends with.
That said, your brother feels betrayed by you because it seems you are condoning her implied cheating and choosing her over your brother.
Have you ever had a conversation about your relationship with your brother?
This will deteriorate your relationship further and cause trouble with the rest of your family potentially.
From his perspective you chose his cheating gf over him.
Have an honest conversation with your brother about everything, apologize for hurting his feelings.
Maybe this can be used as a way to bridge the gap between you two.
You are a little bit of an yta.
Sorry for my english.
Little bro is a piece of work!
As Fidan says, “Don’t worry about it”!
As long as you can have a relationship with gf, who cares about little bro!
Sounds like this is about your axe to grind with your brother and not the friend or his relationship with your new friend.
ESH. From his perspective you chose his cheating girlfriend over him. She’s without a doubt gonna cheat on him at some point. And he’s a dick for taking her back but still giving you the cold shoulder. Honestly wether she was planing on cheating would have really cared would it have changed anything for you?
Keep the GF, block brother.
GF should not stay with a man that calls her a whore. Have her read – Why Does He Do That PDF Free download by Lundy Bancroft – Free Books Mania
It was 2 days. Cheese and crackers.
NtA. She is your friend who is involved with your life. He is your non communicating brother.
If he is as bad at texting and communicating with her as he is with you, then i sort of get why she was texting this other guy!
I think your brother doesn’t know how to maintain relationships.
Good luck.
So if your husband was texting another girl you would be ok with it and you should not be siding with his ex
Yes. YTA. But mostly what you did was stupid. Why did you involve yourself in their drama? I’d say you got exactly what you deserved. Next time stay in your lane.
Personally if my siblings partner cheats I’m staying Switzerland but that ex isn’t coming to my house either.
Honestly though, why do you care so much? If you cared about how he was feeling or were close with him, you wouldn’t have let his cheating partner into your house, but you did, so you don’t care that she cheated or that she hurt him. Which is fine, no judgement. But why care now.?