I’ll have my birthday in less than a week, but I won’t be able to celebrate in the evening because my mother won’t be there.
She had already told me a month ago that she wouldn’t be there on my birthday, because the 19th is the birthday of a friend of hers (50F) and, wanting to organize a big party with all her friends, she decided to celebrate on the following Saturday, i.e. the 24th.
The problem is that the 24th is my birthday. My mother said that the friend had invited both her and my father, but he refused because he prefers to stay with me to celebrate.
When she told me in mid-April that she wouldn’t be with me, I was very angry. I would have liked to organize something with my friends, maybe go out in the evening and then have her pick me up, since my parents don’t trust me to go back alone.
She told me she would celebrate with me in the morning and then go to her friend’s party in the evening. Even though I was still disappointed, I tried to come to terms with it. In reality, I wasn’t so angry about her absence, but about the fact that every time I mentioned my birthday, she laughed and said she wouldn’t be there anyway.
At that point, I agreed with my father on how to celebrate and we decided together. When I asked my mother if I could celebrate at the restaurant, she said no because she didn’t want to spend too much. I understood her point of view and let it go, but I never spoke to her about my plans again.
My father and I changed our minds and decided to go to McDonald’s. When my mother found out, she got angry, saying she didn’t want me to go and called me selfish. I explained to her that I wasn’t selfish, I just wanted to celebrate my birthday. She got even more angry, saying that I had answered her wrong and that I shouldn’t ask her anything anymore.
I pointed out to her that in fact I hadn’t asked her anything, because I had already made arrangements with dad, since she wouldn’t be present. Now she tells me she won’t give me the gift because she claims I treated her badly.
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Backup of the post’s body: I’ll have my birthday in less than a week, but I won’t be able to celebrate in the evening because my mother won’t be there.
She had already told me a month ago that she wouldn’t be there on my birthday, because the 19th is the birthday of a friend of hers (50F) and, wanting to organize a big party with all her friends, she decided to celebrate on the following Saturday, i.e. the 24th.
The problem is that the 24th is my birthday. My mother said that the friend had invited both her and my father, but he refused because he prefers to stay with me to celebrate.
When she told me in mid-April that she wouldn’t be with me, I was very angry. I would have liked to organize something with my friends, maybe go out in the evening and then have her pick me up, since my parents don’t trust me to go back alone.
She told me she would celebrate with me in the morning and then go to her friend’s party in the evening. Even though I was still disappointed, I tried to come to terms with it. In reality, I wasn’t so angry about her absence, but about the fact that every time I mentioned my birthday, she laughed and said she wouldn’t be there anyway.
At that point, I agreed with my father on how to celebrate and we decided together. When I asked my mother if I could celebrate at the restaurant, she said no because she didn’t want to spend too much. I understood her point of view and let it go, but I never spoke to her about my plans again.
My father and I changed our minds and decided to go to McDonald’s. When my mother found out, she got angry, saying she didn’t want me to go and called me selfish. I explained to her that I wasn’t selfish, I just wanted to celebrate my birthday. She got even more angry, saying that I had answered her wrong and that I shouldn’t ask her anything anymore.
I pointed out to her that in fact I hadn’t asked her anything, because I had already made arrangements with dad, since she wouldn’t be present. Now she tells me she won’t give me the gift because she claims I treated her badly.
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How old are you turning?
Just give her an ‘ok boomer’ and go get dinner with your dad. He sounds pretty cool.
Curiosity; how old are you turning? Happy birthday (a few days early).
It seems like there’s a lot missing from this story. Why would your mom think it’s selfish for you to go to McDonald’s?
NTA your mother is the selfish one choosing her friend’s birthday, over that of her own child. At least youe dad knows that it’s in poor taste, and decided to stay with you.
I’d have told my mom that she lost the chance to choose how you celebrate, when she bailed on her own child’s birthday, foe her friends.
NTA! Your mother chose her friend over her child. Why couldn’t she organize the party on the 17th? Or 25?
And she’s mad that you and your dad want to go to McD’s? She won’t let you go to a restaurant because it’s expensive? How much is she spending on her friend’s party?
I say go where you want to go. Don’t tell her anything. Take pictures with your dad and friends and put them on social media. Thank them for making your birthday special.
How old are you turning? McDonald’s is getting a bit crazy on prices these days, I can get a good burger at Texas road house or meal at chili’s for about the same at a Big Mac valu meal.
Who is going to celebrate with you
She sounds narcissistic
Thos doesn’t make sense. If your dad is taking you out, why aren’t your parents thrashing this out.
Sorry, your mom sucks. Unfortunately, there are tons of shitty parents who get a sick enjoyment from crushing their kids’ spirits. Terrible as it feels, just focus on getting out of there as soon as you’re legally able to.
If she’s not willing to celebrate your birthday with you, she gets no say in what you do or where you go. Go out with your dad, mickey d’s or whatever. You didn’t mention your age, but, it’s looking like your mom is not going to be a big part of your life when you hit legal age since she’s acting like an entitled brat. I’m sorry she’s more concerned about her friends birthday than yours. What does your dad think?
It appears that it is very difficult for your mother to accept you are growing up. She still treats you as a young teenager. Why would you work so hard to have a mother like that even be around you? Upgrade yourself to a real restaurant and have a nice birthday leave the mother out of it.