My boyfriend yells at me when I make a mistake and get defensive about it. I admit I do get defensive when he yells, I try to explain why I did what I did and this makes him angrier because I am giving “excuses”. When I try to tell him he is crossing the line, he freaks out even more and says I am giving attitude and it shouldn’t matter. He says it shouldn’t matter how it is packaged to me, if I am in the wrong and made a mistake it is my job to humble down. Whether he sugarcoats it or is pissed, it is up to me to humble down. He says he is surprised I don’t have this skill as it is common sense to everyone. I feel like there are ways you should and shouldn’t communicate and he doesn’t see how this abrasiveness can destroy things, such as creating a feeling of anxiousness. He says I need to grow up and not be so cowardly. Am I the crazy one that doesn’t understand this life skill?
Age: 25, male and female
TLDR; boyfriend yells, I get defensive, am I the problem