My friends planned a Paris trip and invited me to go. I figured why not, I have the PTO and can use a little vacation so I decided to join them and booked ticket. I was mindful that this is kind of their trip and I’m just third wheeling last minute. But they booked an extremely expensive (almost 1k USD per night so divided by 3 is 330 per night) hotel without even asking me if the price was ok. I could afford it, that’s not the issue. I am just upset that they didn’t even consider to ask me and I feel like such an afterthought to their trip. I made suggestions but always told them I’m fine with what they pick but they were sending over like mid range suggestions in the group chat. Later on they picked a 5 star luxurious non refundable hotel and just let me know how much I owe. I am a little upset about how thoughtless this was and kind of just don’t wanna go on the trip anymore bc what if it’s like this with everything else? Should I cancel or come back home earlier than I planned? Am I being dramatic? I’ve traveled with them before domestic and international and it’s usually been pretty smooth so kinda annoyed at this.
Editing to say that yes I did say I’m good with the one they pick but they literally sent a 3 star $300 a night hotel in the group chat when I said that. Later on they picked a 5 star 1k per night hotel so I think the decent thing would have been to just send a quick note like hey is this price good w everyone?
Comments
Voice your feelings on feeling left out and see if you can be a bigger part of planning the rest of the trip and activities
A bit confused. You are third wheeling last minute, “always told them I’m fine with what they pick”, and can afford it, but it’s still a huge issue?
Did you talk about a budget or max amount you’d be willing to spend?
Girl…
Nice that you can tag along last minute!
But, you just said you were added last minute, so, you kinda are an afterthought?
You need to be more clear about what your budget is. If y’all were trying to plan together and pick a spot, and you said “I’m fine with whatever” they may have taken that as though you didn’t care to be involved in the decision making.
I think it’s fair you’re put off that they were suggesting $500 hotel rooms and then went with one double the cost without double checking. That IS bizarre.
I would probably have been direct and said something like “wow! That’s going to be an amazing hotel but I’m a bit surprised at the price point given the ones we looked at previously were much lower. Tbh I wasn’t expecting to spend that amount, but understand it’s non refundable. If there are any other luxurious aspects of the trip being planned would you please loop me in ahead of time? Thank you!”
You have to communicate.
Do we have rhe same friends?
Mine do the same thing..Okay, not with trips to Paris but with concert tickets and recently two trips to another state.
My friend brought her partner and I was the plus 1. They organised everything and went “here’s the half you pay” .
The first time they did that to me, I was unemployed, which they knew and I wasn’t super keen on going and tried to worm out but they guilted me to go, cause I adimited I’d never go to that state. What made it worse is they explained “mum’s covered all the costs.” , so essentially I paid their mum back. 🙃
Tgan they do that with concerts, i found a job and earnt decent money. Their excuse for buying me concert tickets without asking me what time/date i could go, they said “well you were working and we didn’t want to wait.”
This time, we organised going to another state, I’ve got steady income with work. I made it clear “I’ll pay my share BUT let me find my things..” e.g hotel room etc.. they picked a 3 bedroom apartment that was upwards of $2000, which is out of my price range even after spilting. I spent hours trying to convince to stay in my own apartment for $400 for the whole weekend, that way I’ll have spending money to play with. Unfortunately they again, brought my plane tickets and other tickets for events we’re doing down in that state and now i owe them close to $2000. Which again, i fumed over.
Your not being dramatic but I do believe that we both need better friends, especially ones that need to learn that not everyone is living of parents money or enough to live the high life.
I would say talk to them, but if their anything like my friends, they’ll guilt trip you into going and your fun won’t be the same.