I 26F have been close with my sister 23F all my life. We had a troubled upbringing and would fight a lot as teens, but at the end of the day we were always there for each other.
However over the past couple of years, she has disrespected me over and over again and I’ve had to move on from it like nothing happened. She has ruined my birthday road trip, an overseas trip by trying to ruin my friendship with the friend that was on the trip with us, and has left me home while we were both meant to be housesitting for me to take full responsibility of our pets.
Also, when we fight she ices me out for MONTHS. She has given me awful anxiety for three consecutive summers by not speaking to me because we fought. She makes zero effort at reconciliation and in the end I just apologise restore peace.
She used to help me through my issues all there time, but lately she’s started making me feel like a burden. Any time me I bring up my recent breakup or anything to do with men she makes me feel like I am annoying her and goes quiet. I have tried to talk to her and help her with her issues but nothing I say is adequate for her.
I am getting to the point where I want to distance myself from our relationship. It’s like I have two sisters- one really fun, cool girl who loves talking to me, and another who completely shuts me out. This makes me feel so hurt and confused and I get really frustrated with myself when I start joking around with her when she’s in a good mood like nothing happened. Idk what to do. I feel awful for distancing myself.
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Also I have spoken to her about this. I just get more angry reactions where she says I am asking too much of her at a given moment when she is being distant.
I have a sister I don’t speak to because she’s controlling and abusive. I feel your pain.
Quit apologizing. Your relationship with her isn’t nearly as important as your mental health.
If you think it will help, consider therapy to help process any staff-esteem issues or anxiety you’re dealing with. Good luck!
I have something similar with my siblings. You are totally right to distance yourself, I did the same, however when I look back, my only regret is that I did not tell that I love them but they hurt me so much, I have no other choice. I still wonder if that would have changed our relationship.