I feel like there should be respect within relationships .. and as a man .. it shouldn’t be an issue if I don’t approve of what my gf wears out. It’s not to say that I have to pick out her outfit .. but I don’t approve of certain things like very short shorts .. or a revealing top .. etc .. it’s all about respect.
Am I wrong?
Comments
Yes.
yes
Yes, you’re wrong. It’s not your place to take aways someone autonomy.
Yes. It sounds like both your values don’t match and aren’t compatible.
Trying to force her to wear clothing that fit your standards by policing her choices is controlling. Intentional or not.
absolutely not, its called boundaries and respect. men know and lets be honest women know too that if they wear something that shows more skin than usual then they’re gonna get looks, now why as a taken woman and ultimately a respectable woman do that knowing damn well they’re already taken. guys, only date mature women who understand and respect longevity, morality, respect for one another, and loyalty.
Yes.
Yes . You’re wrong. If you take her clothing as a sign of disrespect to you, that’s your issue not hers. You need to examine why you think it’s disrespectful for her to dress a certain way. And if it’s because you’re worried about it or listening a response from men, then you need to worry about the men.
Your problem is equating clothing with respect
Yes. You’re wrong.
Yes. You’re wrong.
yes
Yes, you’re in the wrong. She’s her own individual person who can choose to dress how she wants. If you don’t like it, then leave. Just because she’s your girlfriend, it doesn’t give you the right to police her clothes.
lol of course you’re wrong. Your approval of her outfit means nothing.
You are wrong. You are like, the definition of “likely to abuse you in the future”.
Yes. You aren’t respecting her by trying to change and control her.
Ya you are wrong.
Why do you feel the need to police her outfits?
This has nothing to do with respect it has to do with misogyny and jealousy.
Ya you are wrong.
Why do you feel the need to police her outfits?
This has nothing to do with respect it has to do with misogyny and jealousy.
you’re not her fucking dad bro if you don’t like how she dresses date a modest women
and as a man…
As a man, you’d do better to shut the fuck up. You are wrong.
You are wrong
You do not respect her
You do not want respect you want obedience
This has nothing to do with respect and everything to do with control
You are wrong
You are wrong and don’t deserve any respect, from anyone man or woman or non-binary, no one.
I personally think that a significant other is owed the respect of not having to hear judgemental comments on their clothes. This comes across more as feeling entitled to disrespect your GF because her clothes have nothing to do with you.
It has nothing to do with respect, it is solely about control. You are very wrong. Let her go so she can find someone who actually respects and values her as a person, not an object.
Asking the wrong kind of question on Reddit, buddy. And here is a real answer for you. If you’re with a woman who is truly committed to yalls relationship, that woman would instinctually remove herself from situations that would jeopardize the relationship. Women who are into their relationships dont wear revealing clothes in public, dont go clubbing or to bars, and dont keep other dudes on her phone. If you have looked at this situation, decided that you’re not being overbearing yourself (and this is big, make sure you’re not the one of those guys that’s actually being insecure about this) and you still find that she is doing things that make you question your relationship with her…
Then you should probably demote her from gf to fwb. Because she isn’t your girl, man.
At the end of the day, she is showing you that she prioritizes her right to do what she wants more than she cares about pleasing you.
Now if you want to accept that or not, that is upto you.
You just need to look at her actions and see clearly what that means how she views relationship.
Talk to her about boundaries and roles and making your partner happy and then you can both understand each other.
The fact you are in this postion and have written this post already should tell you so much about what you need to know.
Never beg or plead or make your case, just match some ones energy and effort.
If they dont then that is on you for enabling yourself to put with being treated in a way that you didnt like.
You have to resepect everyones right to live and act the way they want and learn the difference between what you want and what they want and if they dont want to then they dont want to and then its very simple
Either leave or put up.
There should be respect. You be respectful to stop controlling what she wears.
You are wrong
Are you a fan of Andrew Tate?
Are you a fan of Andrew Tate?
lol rage bait for Reddit
Yes.
That’s called controlling
My god yes you are wrong. You don’t get to control your gf and claim “it’s a respect thing” when it is clearly a control thing. She is her own human being who can wear whatever the fuck she wants. Clothes do not show respect or disrespect for a relationship.
You’re an idiot, not just wrong. If you feel disrespected by her clothing choices you need therapy.
This comment is meant to be disrespectful, so please take it that way.
Also, your gf needs a new bf.
You’re an idiot, not just wrong. If you feel disrespected by her clothing choices you need therapy.
This comment is meant to be disrespectful, so please take it that way.
Also, your gf needs a new bf.
I see it differently from others
No, you aren’t wrong for you and your feelings
Yes you are wrong in trying to make your partner wear what makes YOU comfortable
Get yourself a modest woman who is more compatible to you and you to her
Yes. You’re wrong and weird. She doesn’t need your approval with what she can and cannot wear- you aren’t HR at her job.
Yes, you are wrong.
Hope this helps.
Her clothing has nothing to do with you. You don’t own her body, her choosing to dress she pleases isn’t “disrespectful” to you in any way.
Yes, you are wrong.
Hope this helps.
Yes.
Absolutely wrong. It’s YOUR problem if you don’t like what she wears, not hers.
Absolutely wrong. It’s YOUR problem if you don’t like what she wears, not hers.
You are NOT wrong. In public, she represents you just like you represent her. It is a respect for the relationship thing. You should both be policing each other.
You have two choices regarding her clothing: you can date her, or you can break up with her. That’s it. What you cannot do is date her and try to change her. That’s incredibly disrespectful. You don’t own her. She owes you absolutely nothing. She is choosing to spend time with you. Take it. Or leave it. As my mama would say, those are the choices. You don’t have to like them. You do have to pick one.
You are wrong. It is her body and she can wear whatever she likes. Perhaps you should show her the respect not to to try and control her.
You know if you don’t like the way she dresses find another girlfriend. I don’t know who you think you are the wardrobe police? If I were a woman and some man try to tell me what I could wear I would tell him to shove it.
You’re 100% wrong.
I go to the gym in a tiny bra and shorts because it’s hot AF here in the summer and I am very sensitive to heat, especially when working out. Like I physically cannot do it.
There are tons of attractive guys at the gym.
Today I worked out with one of my girlfriends. I even pointed out that one of the guys at the gym looks like a well known actor. But I respect my boyfriend. I’ve never spoken to this guy. Never approached him. Never flirted or attempted to make any sort of contact. All I said was “doesn’t that dude look like (blank)?” If this guy did approach me, I’d be nice but I’d tell him I have a boyfriend… BECAUSE I RESPECT MY RELATIONSHIP.
When I got home my boyfriend asked my plans for the weekend. Said I was going out with a girl I met on Bumble BFF. He jokingly said “ah so you’re cheating on me huh?”
I laughed and said “yeah he’s 6’5” and is rich”
He chuckled and kissed me because he knows I would NEVER. Because… I. RESPECT. MY. RELATIONSHIP.
Respect isn’t about what I wear. It’s about how I ACT. I do NOT act like I’m single. I’m loyal AF.
YOUR effed up idea of respect is that her body should be for you and you alone. Like you own it and you’re somehow entitled to it. And all you’re doing is imposing control over someone who will eventually resent you for being an a-hole. And then what will you be left with? No girlfriend, that’s for damn sure. Because you value your control over her body over who she is as a human being. As a loyal partner.
The girl that can wear booty shorts, get hit on, and decline any man that looks at her is just as loyal and just as valuable as a woman that covers herself up. My partner and I trust each other completely. I don’t need to cover up. He loves me for who I am and how I treat him.
“if she respected me she would let me tell her what to wear”. Absolutely take about thirty seven seats.
Actually, none of this has anything to do with respect.
You feeling entitled to approve what she wears is utterly disrespectful to her.
You are confusing obedience with respect.
You’re wrong in several ways.
You are right. It’s about respect. Respecting that your gf is a grown ass autonomous woman who can wear whatever the fuck she wants.
Is this a completely new style for your girlfriend? Or is it something she has always worn
Yes, you are completely and utterly wrong.
I can sort of follow what you were trying to say about respect in the relationship but using words like ‘approving’ and policing’ is not respectful AT ALL.
You can have a discussion with her about your concerns BUT YOU CANNOT TELL HER what to wear or what not to wear. That is completely disrespectful to her and takes away her autonomy. Relationships should be equal, respect goes both ways.
You are her boyfriend NOT her owner. She is her own person and SHE gets to decide what she wears.
By telling her what to wear/ what not to wear you come across as a possessive chauvinist dictator and you may find yourself single very quickly.
Side note: The ‘as a man’ inclusion in your post made me want to throw up in my mouth a little.
Yes, yes you are wrong. Why not slap her into a red robe with a hood and be done with it?
yes
Tell me you’re controlling without telling me 😂😂
Did any of us have to even read the post?
Yes, you are wrong and even acknowledge that by using the word “policing”. Unless you are law enforcement and this woman’s clothing is breaking some law, just, gah. Go be with a prude like yourself
You keep using the word “respect” when you mean “obedience”. Yea, you’re wrong.
Dude, make better rage bait.
You are 100% wrong and your behaviour is a massive red flag.
You are trying to dictate what your GF wears and saying if she doesn’t do what you tell her to then she doesn’t respect you is manipulative and controlling.
Your GF is an independent adult who is free to dress as she wants – you don’t get to police her clothing choices.
You are wrong. You are throwing around the word respect, but you aren’t respecting her. If you’re that insecure in your relationship that is a you problem not her’s.
It’s extremely controlling and abusive to try to police what your girlfriend wears. You are extremely wrong
I feel like you are confusing respect and control you can dislike how she dresses and bring that up to her but she doesn’t have to agree to it and as long as she isn’t being rude or completely disregarding your feelings then it kinda is what it is
It never occurs to these guys to respect their girlfriends as separate people able to make their own choices
You’re absolutely wrong. If you don’t like what she wears, break up and join the Amish if you’re that concerned.
As a man, you have no right over what another person wears. Point blank period. You don’t own anyone’s autonomy except for your own.
Stop being insecure, little boy, and stop posting when you clearly think you’re right
Respect isn’t control over clothing
From where I’m standing it looks like you’re confusing respect and being controlling- how does your gf feel about this?
Yes, you are wrong. You’re insecure and your gf wearing revealing clothing isn’t going to make her leave you for someone else that might give her attention because of said clothing. She might leave you for being a controlling, insecure dimwit
“Hey guys am i wrong for this?”
“Yes wtf calm down”
“Actually i’m right and you’re all typical redditors”
Do you know that most abusive relationships start off with the abuser being upset with what his girlfriend is wearing? This isn’t about respect this is about control.
Yes you are wrong. There are very specific circumstances in which it would be reasonable not to want your girlfriend (or anyone else) to dress a certain way. For instance, if you were attending a funeral and she wanted to show up in rave wear, probably not the right move and I would take that as a sign of disrespect. HOWEVER, these are only extreme and highly hypothetical scenarios. How she dresses has nothing to do with how much she respects you and your relationship. If she wanted to cheat on you she could do it regardless of what she’s wearing, so you’re naïve to think that just because she goes out dressed in an “acceptable” (by your standards) manner that you have nothing to worry about. I am not saying this as a line of defense for why you should be policing/controlling her either. My point is that trying to control something like this is going to make the relationship miserable for her and you should do her a favor and let her find someone who isn’t so insecure.
Asks a question. Everyone gives a unanimous answer.
Whines because it’s not the answer he wanted.
You’re either a troll, or in need of therapy. I hope it’s the first.
Of course you’re wrong. You talk about respect, but do you seriously think it’s respectful to police what your girlfriend wears and giving her permission to wear certain things. You being a man doesn’t make her your property or something to control, she’s a human with autonomy, and she can wear whatever she wants and feels comfortable wearing. If you think her clothes are “disrespectful”, that’s a you problem. Suck it up or do her a favor and just leave.
Yes. If you want to date someone who dresses a certain way and holds herself to a modest standard then do that. You don’t get to change how someone else dresses.
You asked and got your answer. You defend wanting to control what your gf with deserving respect yet don’t answer any questions.
You used the comparison “if we were going to a business meeting and she was wearing booty shorts and a tank top would it be appropriate to tell her to change”……well yes, obviously that’s not appropriate attire for a professional setting or say if you’re going to a nice restaurant with a dress code that’s pretty obvious. But if it’s hot out and you’re going out to hang w friends and she wants to wear shorts and crop top is that considered too revealing for you? Bc that’s perfectly acceptable and normal attire.
Yes, you’re an AH. You should choose a church lady to go out with who dresses in a way you approve. You shouldn’t be telling women how to dress, it’s disrespectful.
You’re wrong. Your girlfriend is an adult woman. She is not your doll. She does not belong to you. She has the full autonomy to wear what she wants. Respect for a partner is not about clothing. You need to examine why your partner choosing to wear revealing clothing makes you so insecure.
If she dressed that way before you met her then YOU are disrespecting HER by expecting her to change because of your control issues.
You are wrong. Why not date someone who dresses modestly instead of trying to force the person you’re dating to dress modestly?
Yes-YTA
I’ve met guys like you… Guys who complain that their wives dress too frumpy and don’t make the effort to be sexy for them. Because no matter what, what a woman does is wrong. If she dresses too nicely, she’s obviously cheating on you. If she wear sweats around the house, she’s clearly given up.
I’m also willing to bet that when you met her, she wore lots of sexy clothing, which is probably one of the reasons you were attracted to her. But now that you “own” her, every time she wears that clothing. She’s clearly out trying to get other guys’ attention.
You are so wrong, and ridiculous.
How would you feel if she told you what you should and shouldn’t wear?
Not at all, I’ve been in a relationship now and made it clear that if I’m asking her to change or not to hang out with people it’s because of the people she with/around. Like I don’t like the idea of her wearing a bikini or a revealing top around a bunch of random guys if we go out, ESPECIALLY if I can’t be there. This is just because I don’t trust the other guy/s. She’s oblivious and I worry someone is going to try something whether she’s aware he is of isn’t. I also told her this one night and she completely agree. It’s a respect thing too, she tells me aswell if she’s not comfortable with me being around certain people and I respect that because she has her reasons. The big thing is just explain your reasoning and talk about it, because there’s a difference between setting boundaries and communicating vs being controlling
YTA, big time. What’s next? Telling her what to eat, who to talk to, and what color to dye her hair? Newsflash: She’s not your property. If you’re that insecure, maybe you should work on yourself instead of trying to control her wardrobe. Let her wear whatever the hell she wants.
Find a new gf that dress code meets your standards
Did she wear booty shorts to a formal event??? You keep using that as your gotcha but if that’s not what your situation is you’re being disingenuous.
YTA
Sorry but yes. If she is covered in a legal sense or not breaking g dress codes it sounds like control.
Sounds insecure not respectful.
Dude you posted on a subreddit where you are supposed to get advice on your issue to see if YOU are wrong- and you’re just ignoring all the advice and telling this ocean of people that THEY’RE wrong. Take notice of the majority responses and the zero upvotes you have on the post and all your comments- you’re so unbelievably wrong, either learn it and improve or let your gf leave
Just by reading that title, yes. You ARE in the wrong.
If this isn’t just rage bait, then I feel sorry for your girlfriend.