an American male acquaintance kindly offered to send a package via mail.
A month passed by and he hadn’t send it yet, so I kindly reminded him about it. He excused himself, said he had been out of town and asked me to remind him via email to send the package. He then said he would send it ‘around the 8th’. So I immediately sent him an email reminder for the package he said was sending over.
Im no longer able to see him in person, and since I’m not fully familiar with American ways, I was wondering if reminding him again to send the package would be considered rude? I would never want to be rude. Nevertheless I’m still curious as to when would it be appropriate to remind him again? Thanks!
Comments
No lol, he said he would do something, he should do it. Feel free to contact him again
Nothing to do with him being American.
Nah. Tell the lazy bum to get to the post office already.
around the 8th? so today? I would send another reminder in a few days.
I’d wait a day or two, and if you haven’t heard anything by then, reach out. Keep it polite though, something like “hey, just checking if you’ve been able to ship the package yet”. If they continue to delay/make excuses, especially if this is something they don’t necessarily want to do, you can get pushier with repeated follow ups.
Month late on the original promise? Bit rude. To be fair, it’s entirely possible that he simply forgot and that whatever situation he’s in left him unable to fix it properly. I’ve been in that position before, but the extra wait was only two days.
If it was me and I was told “around the 8th” I would give him till the 10th before asking if he sent it yet.
Not rude at all to remind him. Just send him a note including the words “gentle reminder” and a happy face at the end.
“Around the 8th” means he intends to send it before the 16th. It sounds like you already reminded him twice? If that’s not enough reminding, he’s not going to do it.
Considering today is the 8th I’d probably wait another day or two. Depending on how far the shipping is its possible he’s sent it already and it just hasn’t reached you yet
No, that’s not rude. He told you to remind him and this was after he didn’t do it. It’s a bit annoying to be reminded of stuff multiple times when you are a person that is punctual and never misses deadlines. Otherwise, remind away.
No, quite the opposite really. He is being rude. We put a lot of value on being “true to your word”. It is considered very rude and shameful to not do something you have previously agreed to do.
I assume this is true most places around the world but, we have a lot of phrases that suggest you aren’t much of a man if you dishonor your word. You basically aren’t allowed to go back on something you’ve previously agreed to.
Be like
“Bitch wheres my shit”
Curious, what country are you from and how would you approach this?
Not rude. He said he would do something specific and should be expected to follow through.
I’d wait a couple of days, and if you don’t hear from him or see the package by the end of the day on Thursday, contact him and ask if he has a tracking number for the package.
A nice way to ask him would be to say either “what is the tracking number for my package” or if no number “what day did you mail my package? I’m trying to calculate when it might arrive”. These are better than nagging him because they assume he sent it, even though we are sure he did not
Nothing to do with being American and everything to do with being a reliable person. Remind him again.
The polite thing to be would be wait until you should have recieved it, then ask if they’re still willing to do the favor. This makes it clear it’s not an obligation but something they’re doing for you and appreciative of, but you also have a right to plan and anticipate or make alternate arraingments.
Just ask him what day he sent it, so you know when to expect it.
Send a reminder asking for the package tracking information. If you don’t get a reply I’d assume he just isn’t going to do it.
Are you 100% sure he didn’t send it? It is it lost? Our postal service SUX right now (by design, this administration wants to privatize it). I have a certified letter lost at a distribution center since January 28th…….
Gently ask him for a tracking number. Any package should have one. The. You’ll know for sure.
Scorch him on FB. LOL.
This guy sounds like kind of an unreliable asshole to me. I wouldn’t trust him or believe him again after this.
How well did you know them? I think you got scammed out of your package. Did he know that you would not be able to physically see him again?
As long as you weren’t rude about it, you should be fine.
Sounds like he’s not pulling through with what was agreed on
It’s considered rude that he didn’t send the package when he said he would. Unfortunately, a lot of people are flakey when it comes to stuff like this. If it were me, I’d send him a calendar invitation to send out the package by a certain date. That may be a little more passive aggressive, but for some people, a simple reminder just isn’t enough.
I’d say “Keeping your word” is an important part of American culture. Around makes me think the week of that date.
I think it depends on whether or not the favor is something you’d have done on your own (or had someone else do), had they not offered it.
The best way to do this is: around the 8th, give or take a day, be like “oh, I’m going out of town for the weekend- have you already sent the package? If so I’ll get my neighbor to take it in”.
Implication being: he’s of course going to send it soon, you just need to know when.
No way. He’s just being lazy.
I’m guessing he opened the package and kept what was in it or chucked it.
What is your nationality?
I would ask him in next week if he sent the package. If he says not yet I would arrange to get whatever it is another way because he probably isn’t going to do it with that length of time having gone by.
lol we would have already said “hey jackass mail my package” 🤷🏻♀️
Agreements don’t change because of nationality. Tell that mf
Remind him again, and then leave it be. It’s not an American cultural thing, it’s a him lazy thing.
Would depend on tone for me. Gentle reminder wouldn’t be rude though.
Keep texting him memes of Peter Potamus saying, “Did you get that thing I sent you?”.
Normally I would say sending a reminder on the day is a bit unnecessary but this guy already waited a month. You’re fine. He’s the jerk.
Reminding him via email immediately is often seen as a bit cheeky/sarcastic. Don’t count that email as part of your reminder, as he most likely ignored it as a joke.
Definitely remind him again, but the way in which you remind him can be annoying. But also don’t try to be too “polite” because that’s often more annoying, especially from people whose country has a different type of English than Americans — which I presume you may be from one such country.
Also, you use the term acquaintance. Well, acquaintances are often going to be even more annoyed by the extremely polite language when being reminded to do something. There’s just a line not to cross with politeness lol
I would probably go with something like, “Sorry to bug you, could you send me the tracking for that package once it’s sent?” It’s an indirect reminder.
If his post office is anything like mine recently its basically never open.
Offer to pay ups or fed ex and that would make it actually accessible for them
I’m an American and people like this drive me crazy. He either needs to mail the package or not mail the package. Easy choices. If he mails it great! If he doesn’t intend to mail it he needs to apologize, be honest, and let you know why he changed his mind. What he is doing is no way to treat people.
Text or email: “hey, just checking on that package you’re sending so I can keep an eye on the post. Delivery can get strange. Thanks!”
Tweak as needed. 💜💜
Giving him reminders is clearly warranted. To keep things friendly, I would go with:
hopeful, optimistic voice “hey, did you get a chance to send that package yet?”
A more direct “Don’t forget to send the package!” could get annoying, but on the other hand, it would be deserved since he’s being a bit flakey.
4/20 is the day he is aiming for
“Hey, can you send me the tracking info for the package you sent? I want to get it before such and such time.”
I’d remind him on the 8th
Also sometimes it ok to be a bit rude 🤷♀️