For context, we had both just showered. Ate pizza when she(28f) asked if I(31m) would massage her butt because her tailbone hurts (unrelated to me touching her butthole). Her tailbone pain was prebutthole touch. She said she thought her tailbone used to be by her butthole and now it’s more inside her. I essentially said tell me when and start reaching down her crack. “Is that your tailbone?” I ask. “No, that’s my butthole.” I, laughing, went to bathroom and washed my hands. Normal right? She comes into the bathroom offended I washed my hands. I said it was a butthole. She said “it’s HER butthole and it’s clean.” I said, ” a clean butthole is still a butthole.” She informed me that she had not pooped. We had just showered and I’ve ate her butt. “Yeah and it was clean and after we showed and I use mouthwash.” (For my mouth not her asshole) I also said I didn’t wanna have to sniff it. I didn’t want to be that guy. I did it so I wouldn’t be constantly wondering if my finger smells like a butthole. I did it to avoid smelling my finger. Which is true but also I touched her butthole. She said, “she touches my balls should she wash her hands after.” I said probably.long story short am I the asshole for washing my hands after touching my girlfriend’s clean butthole after eating pizza. I don’t know that the pizza matters but I thought it was important for context.
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Backup of the post’s body: For context, we had both just showered. Ate pizza when she(28f) asked if I(31m) would massage her butt because her tailbone hurts (unrelated to me touching her butthole). Her tailbone pain was prebutthole touch. She said she thought her tailbone used to be by her butthole and now it’s more inside her. I essentially said tell me when and start reaching down her crack. “Is that your tailbone?” I ask. “No, that’s my butthole.” I, laughing, went to bathroom and washed my hands. Normal right? She comes into the bathroom offended I washed my hands. I said it was a butthole. She said “it’s HER butthole and it’s clean.” I said, ” a clean butthole is still a butthole.” She informed me that she had not pooped. We had just showered and I’ve ate her butt. “Yeah and it was clean and after we showed and I use mouthwash.” (For my mouth not her asshole) I also said I didn’t wanna have to sniff it. I didn’t want to be that guy. I did it so I wouldn’t be constantly wondering if my finger smells like a butthole. I did it to avoid smelling my finger. Which is true but also I touched her butthole. She said, “she touches my balls should she wash her hands after.” I said probably.long story short am I the asshole for washing my hands after touching my girlfriend’s clean butthole after eating pizza. I don’t know that the pizza matters but I thought it was important for context.
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Well we’ll see this one on the copypasta subreddit soon…
You should always wash your hands after touching butt holes
NTA
If you break up – you won’t be able to unlick her butthole.
You’re welcome.
I’m judging you more for writing this all out
I eat butthole. Don’t brush teeth afterwards 😬
NTA. It’s a butthole. You don’t want to touch it and then touch everything else in your house. I wash my face and brush my teeth after giving head and my man has no problem with it.
smell your finger for every time you read “butthole” 👆🏼
Your girlfriend is a piece of work.
NAH. In all honesty, I think this is about her feeling insecure. Women throughout puberty are hit with a barrage of “your genitals stink and look disgusting” by a load of places. I know you clearly don’t think that about her, or she wouldn’t be your girlfriend. If it comes up again, I would just reassure her that there’s nothing dirty or gross about her, but that wasn’t a sexual encounter. It was more medical. And proper etiquette dictates even after a sexual encounter, one must wash their butthole acquainted hands before making the acquaintance of another.
(Also, yeah. Wash your hands after manhandling the ballsack too)
This is hilarious. You would be an ass hole if you didn’t wash your hands, then touched other things.
Buttholes are inherently risky. It’s a good idea to establish a habit of washing your hands after butthole contact of any kind.
I mean, did you finish the massage after?
I mean, no reason to stop the massage, you wash your hands after, unless you were knuckle deep and visible had a turd smear on your hand. You make it sound like you surface glossed it, grossed out and left her on the bed or whatever. I’d be like, “wtf is your problem” too, lol.
I’m confused how she thought her tailbone was near her butthole but is now inside her 🤨
I think she actually wanted to do butt stuff
I’m sorry this happened to you. Also, a pox on your family for me having to read this.
So does she not wash her hands after wiping her ass? And that’s not even touching her butthole directly
Don’t wash, get pink eye. Everyone knows you’ve touched someone’s butthole. Yeah, NTA. Wash
This is ridiculous. Tell her to touch ur BH then have her wash her hands after
Butthole was used 11 times in this post, 12 if you count the title. way to go OP that might be a new record. And NTA no judgement if you want to wash your hands after touching a butthole. That’s pretty normal and to be honest more clean than most guys.
You’re NTA, but you did touch one. Soap was the right choice.
So there’s a chiropractor technique to put the tail bone back in place. Just fyi do what you will with that information.
Dafuq was this nonsense on the top of my home feed for?!
Would you feel differently if she had mint chocolate chip ice cream instead of pizza?
Omg. I absolutely laughed my asshole off at
This whole
Post.
NTA. Now I’m wondering what else she touches and doesn’t wash her hands before touching your face. Always wash your hands after touching buttholes, balls and tacos!
This is funny. Im sure it’s a troll post lol. But just in case, no you’re NTA. A butthole is still a butthole no matter how clean, you should be washing your hands after touching it.
Same as you should be washing your hands after touching your dingdong and nutsack. That one is for you menfolk.
Yes, you should most definitely wash your hands. There’s really no such thing as clean.
These types of posts are the reason I will never leave Reddit 🥺
Does she want you to get pink eye by accidentally rubbing your eye afterward? Because that’s how you get pink eye…
What did I just read?
I am dying. I hope your relationship recovers.
Yeah I think that’s enough credit for… At least a week
Time to close Reddit for the day.
Beginning of the end I’m afraid…
WTF did I just read? What is wrong with people on this app? Total ignorance. No one’s butthole, let me repeat for the dumb-dumbs in the back,NO ONE’S butthole is clean…EVER!! Even if you wash well, there is still E. coli present which can make you or anything you touch contaminated. E. coli infection can kill.
Does she want pinkeye? Cause that’s how you get pinkeye.
I just had a colonoscopy today so mine is safe and clean to touch. I got pictures to prove it.
>She said “it’s HER butthole and it’s clean.”
Why would she say this?
Touch her butthole and then touch her eyeball
People are dying, Kim.
NTA but I do appreciate that you felt the need to clarify that you used the mouthwash on your mouth and not her butthole.
NTA
NTA, you can get infections if you touch asshole and then forget and scratch your eyes later or smth. Why is she offended by this? It’s totally normal and safe.
I’m amazed how many times the word butthole was used in this post
😆
Would she not wash her hands when she touches her butthole? If the answer is no… 🫣
You’re going to have to teach her about Hepatitis A.
After reading this I used mouthwash (for my eyes, not my mouth).
… Not sure whether or not this is true but FOLKS!
PLEASE ALWAYS WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER TOUCHING ANYONES BUTTHOLE!
I can’t stop laughing
This is the most I’ve ever giggled scrolling through comments on a post in ages. Thank you so much for that; seriously, if my butthole had a laugh clench-o-meter at the fair, you’re winning the big stuffed animal, tongues down.
Even if she didn’t poop I’m sure she has at least farted. Still gross.
Step 1. Touch my butthole
Step 2. I demand you wash your hands.
Step 3. We laugh about it
If you’re supposed to wash after touching someone’s butthole. Then how do I wash my tongue.
Well, that’s 30 seconds I’ll never get back.
This shit was funny.
NTA. You touch a butthole, you wash your hands. That’s the RULE.
FYI I laughed so hard reading this that I read it to my GF while finger blasting her butthole. I used mouthwash for lube. Then we had a snack.
Never let anyone that argues with you about washing your hands, cook for you. EVER.
Touch a door knob and a couple days later you both have pink eye. It’s simple preventative measures
>She said she thought her tailbone used to be by her butthole and now it’s more inside her.
I lost several brain cells after reading that.
So, kinda unrelated, but one time the wife and I were stoned as shit, did anal, then went back out to watch tv. I grabbed a bag of Doritos as I was high as hell, started eating them. Was licking the delicious dorito dust off my fingers when I realized I was sucking dust off my lube finger and hadn’t washed my hands. Not my finest moment.
(unrelated to me touching her butthole)
What did I just read ???😭😭😭😭
I mean, yeah, she really should be washing her hands after handling balls. Those get sweaty too.. and a buttholes a butthole.. it’s odd for her to be that upset over it.
She didn’t shit but she could have farted.
This is hilarious oh my god.
its not to late to delete this poopy post
😂😂😂😂
The world would be a better place if everyone washed their hands after touching buttholes, and before touching surfaces like door knobs.
Ok.. but to clarify. The mouthwash was not for the butt hole. NOTED, But if you used it for the butt hole. Would the farts smell, minty fresh?
I only read the title. Abso-fucking-lutly not.
NTA.
BUTTHOLE!!!
You eat butthole?
I should link that article that has risks of butthole eating that escalates up to death.
This reminds me of the Letterkenny butthole scene
I need tp for my bunghole! he he he!
Ask her to touch your butthole and then get offended when she either says no or washes her hands after, uno reverse it
I don’t really get why she’s offended. It’s a butthole. Shit comes out from there. Balls don’t have shit come out from it so idk why she had to include those but I’d still recommend washing my hands after touching ball sack. I would say to mention that you’d even wash your hands after touching her V but that would probably start a fucking war
Yes, one washes their hands after touching a butthole. Thanks for making me laugh out loud in the bus!
Your girlfriend is walking around with pizza butthole.
NTA
Touching a butthole means you wash your hands. No exceptions.
What the fuck did I just read?
NTA for the situation.
YTA for making us read this. W. T. F.
Why? Why? Why?
I was having a good time on Reddit. Then I came across your butthole post. Now I want to wash my eyes and forget that I ever learnt how to read.
i am way too high for this right now
Umm… she should also be washing her hands after touching your balls lmao wtf??? This cannot be real 😂
Why did I read this?
You two are gross.
Look up Mary Mallons story. They call her Typhoid Mary. Ask her if she is certain she doesn’t carry the typhoid bacteria
Not the asshole for touching an asshole and washing your hands.
🎵🎵 She tricked you into ~~ fingering her butthole,
now she’s ~~ mad you washed your hands after 🎵🎵
you touched her butthole. Turn the music up~~ a butthole…~~ you just got buttholed🎵🎵
Man. I love that AI has brought us music generators that can turn out lyrics to posts like these!
What a strange post.
Fucking 28 and 31….
What sort of pizza was it?
I mean, she’sld expect you to wash your hands if you put your fingers in your own butthole and made her a sandwich I’m sure. She’s gross, it’s all gross 🤮
This took me forever to read because I was laughing so hard. Not only are you not the asshole, but I’d be VERY concerned about her hygiene. If you’re not washing your hands after touching butt hole when are you washing your hands?
I could not even finish reading this ..
this is the funniest fucking thing i have read all day oh my fucking god
NTA btw
what kind of pizza was it?
There’s no such thing as a clean butthole. Every second grader knows this
You should wash your hands after you touch any genital or or face that isn’t your mouth.
Lol, I don’t think anyone should be questioning anyone else washing their hands for any reason. Hand hygiene is important!
You’re an asshole for telling us, but not for the other thing.
First reddit of the day, and I definitely read it out loud to my fiance. Lol 💀 😆 wtf man. 🤣
You don’t need context for asking about washing your hands after making contact with someone’s asshole. Wash your hands.
I think we need pictures to determine the state of cleanliness for said butthole. Then we can truly judge.
NTA. She’s being insecure. Buttholes are always dirty.
Any massage that takes place under where someone’s underwear would go is a reason to wash hands.
NTA. What a dumb thing to be offended by.
No but I don’t think you really saw why it bothered her, and addressed that you don’t find her unclean or that her butthole does still turn you on etc.
There literally is no such thing as a clean butthole.
I’m deceased. NTA
You are not the butthole.
Of course you wash your hands after that 👍
Might need to touch it again to see if it’ll reset her attitude
I mean, I wash my hands after touching my own butthole so…🤷♀️
I mean, poop doesn’t exit your body via your balls, so her comparison is invalid. She should be less concerned that you washed your hands and worry about washing her own! Ummm, does she just not wash her hands after going to the bathroom?! She needs to consult Dr. Google on how dangerous things like e.coli and c.diff really are.
NTA. You will never be an AH for observing basic hygiene. Your gf is, though, for being upset about it. Everybody’s butthole is dirty. Even hers.
You knew it was her butthole, don’t pretend