Let’s start from the beginning—my husband and I have been together for 4 years. It’s been a toxic relationship. He’s cheated, lied, and manipulated me, but we’re trying to heal and move forward.
About 2 years ago, we moved in with his parents to save money after having our first baby and to help them with rent since they couldn’t afford it alone. Things were okay at first with my MIL, but when I was pregnant, my SIL told me MIL made racist remarks about my unborn child and even questioned if the baby was my husband’s. I let it go to keep the peace.
I became a SAHM about a year ago and got pregnant again shortly after. I dealt with depression during the pregnancy and still managed to care for our home and child. MIL helped sometimes but constantly complained I didn’t work or clean, even though she never asked for help and just did everything herself at 6am without saying anything.
After I gave birth, I went through PPD. My first got very attached to MIL, but there were several times she disrespected me, and my husband and I were still rocky due to his cheating. I’ve started therapy and meds, and we’re trying to fix things—but it’s not easy.
Meanwhile, MIL has told my husband I’m cheating and lying, which is not true. I’ve had past trauma from an abusive relationship where my ex would break my phones, so I’m protective of my privacy—not because I’m hiding anything.
I finally got a job and the plan was for MIL to help with the kids. But after a 4am fight between me and my husband, she woke up, had a full meltdown, screamed, woke the kids, and told me to get the F out. She’s said multiple times she just wants to leave and go back to her mom’s house. My husband told her to give us a 30-day notice—which she did.
Now she’s refusing to help with the kids and my husband says she’s just being a B. We’re in a financial hole, and this job was supposed to help while he builds his business.
I told him I don’t want her around our kids anymore. She’s inconsistent, she’s walked out before—she abandoned my husband when he was 3 and didn’t see her kids again until they were 17. She also has a long history of drug use, is on a lot of meds, is bipolar, and smokes pot—which I don’t feel is safe or stable for the kids to be around. He thinks I’m overreacting.
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And yet you thought it was a good idea to move in with her?
So this family is racist, unappreciative, disloyal, unsupportive, and abusive. You’ve also had to start therapy and take up medications in order to function in your daily life because of how this family treats you – and you want to stay attached to them? Do you want your two children to think it’s normal? Or ok? They’re going to see how they treated you AND how you let it happen. I think it’s time to decide what’s best for your kids, not your feelings.