I just wanted to rant. And I dunno, hear some advices how to deal with it all?
I’m not much around men anymore, but I used to went I was younger and currently I have someone who this topic also includes and I just want to rant.
I hate when men offer their help just to later on dismiss you.
Current situation? I need to buy a car. But I’m not sure what to look for when buying one, what to pay attention to, what to check etc. A man I know (a pal) is a car mechanic and he told me, he’s happy to answer any questions car related and I can send him cars I have on my mind (mostly pre owned). So I’ve asked the questions from earlier, sended him a link to a car I had in mind and his reply? It’s not a good car. Ok, cool. Thanks for letting me know. But why? What about the other questions I had?
And it’s frustrating me so much. For years and years people accuse me of doing everything on my own, not asking for help or advices – THIS IS THE REASON. Why you want me to ask for help when you then not even offering it? And it usually comes specifically from men and it really gets on my nerves.
I don’t have a partner to tell him “go and check for me”. And I don’t feel comfortable with dragging my pal every time I want to check the car out. Hence why I wanted to learn to do some checks myself..
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Sometimes they are fake. Some other times I know they are genuine but they have other intentions and I don’t want to use them and lead them on just to send them to the friend zone after.
And honestly YouTube or even Reddit can be your best friend sometimes to dip your toes into something new. Try to learn a few things about the topic and what’s important even if it’s just the basics, then you can ask your friend more specific questions or even the seller but they’ll know that you have made some homework and feel like you’re not putting all the “decision” on them. I know you just wanted to vent so I hear you and share your frustration but I hope it helps.
I have very niche knowledge of vehicles and a visibility to a lot of vehicle data. If you want to send me a car, I can tell you my thoughts. I’m kind of an ahole about cars I have a prejudice against though just fyi lol.
In a recent car buying, we asked a car mechanic which cars he’d recommend, based on our criteria. Which cars he sees in for repair regularly and which he knows run forever. It was invaluable. I’m sorry you had a bad experience with your friend and understand your frustration. Don’t give up, though. We need to learn it isn’t our need that is a problem, sometimes we need to ask different people.
You get what you pay for, in this case nothing. My advice? Pay an actual mechanic at a real business to look over any used car you propose to buy. Should be no more than an hour of labor, and well worth it! I did this last time I bought a used car. If you’re buying new, you can do that research yourself, read reviews, etc.
Never rely on freebie services from others!