My best friend and I met on the first day of high school (14 years old). We spent so much time together, we travelled, we partied, we would sleep over at each other’s house for nights in a row. She was practically my sister and our families became very connected.
We’re now 26, I’m married with a 5 month old boy, and she is married as well. We both live with our in laws (making it hard to go to each other’s house to hang out) and we live 2 hours away from each other.
The last time I saw her was January, and there were moments during that hang out that I felt like I barely know this person. There were awkward silences too where we just had to small talk to fill and that has never happened before. We’re trying to make plans to see each other now and I can only do daytime because of baby, and she told me she’s busy for the next three weekends.
I feel so much anxiety about losing her as a friend, and about how life just changes. I know it’s inevitable but I’ve always struggled with attachment. Is this what it’s like, we just move on with our own lives and see our closest friends every few months? I don’t feel close to her at all. How do you deal with this?
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All I can really say is I’m 32 and also met my best friend at 14. I’m also married with a baby and she is married. We live about 8hr away from each other and haven’t lived within a 2hr drive since we were 22.
We talk every single day.
We text each other memes, funny videos, shirts we want to buy, once in awhile we’ll just express our love for each other because it is so genuine and we’re so lucky to have a best friend like that. Even though we can’t physically, we still show up for each other every day.
You have to stay really intentional. If the friendship means a lot to you-tell her that. Stay in touch and make a consistent effort to be in each others lives. It’s not always easy when life and distance get in the way. But, when we’re lucky enough to find a best friend-you gotta hold onto them.