My 9yo is a compulsive nail biter. At this point her nails are almost non existent. We tried to raise awareness, implement a reward system and used a bad tasting nail polish, give her bite-toys. We talked about a punishment/consequence but decided it is not for us. I do not believe punishing her for a bad habit is going to help her in any way and in the end could even hurt her psych-wise. But…. We are out of ideas and looking for tips.
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If she’s anything like me, it all stems from anxiety. When I’m anxious, I literally cannot force myself to stop. It’s like a compulsion. The house could be burning down around me and I can’t stop. I know that’s not a lot of hope, but I’ve struggled big time since I was a kid. I’ve always disappointed my perfect mom with her perfect nails too because she just doesn’t get it. Perhaps look into the why of the biting?
Find out why she’s doing it.
Nail biting can be a stim from neurodiversity or anxiety.
Talk to a doctor and/or therapist. She probably doesn’t know the underlying issue, and it can be tricky to ask the right questions to figure it out.
My nail biting is rooted in OCD. I cant stand when my nails grow past the nail bed and the white tips are uneven. It causes rumination and I cannot stand it so I bite all my nails down to the bed until they match. Acrylics don’t stop me because once one falls off any my nails no longer match I chew on them until all the false nails are off. Acrylics. Gel. Dip. Normal ass nail polish. It all gets bitten, gnawed and chewed off.
My nails are better when my mental health is better.
Nail biting is not a punishable offense so thank God you will not be forcing consequences or punishing her
Chances are it is stemming from something and she doesn’t even know what therefore no point in grilling her to figure it out.
I was a nail picker and always very self-conscious about my nails and would hide my hands. Advice of a friend was to invest in everything for at home gel manicure’s and that’s what did it. I cans pick my nails with the gel on and when it’s off I have no desire to.
If you’re not against the gel manicures at home start with clear and rewards could be picking a new color. I promise you the gel has not damaged my nail beds
I’ve been a nail bitter my whole life. I’ve tried various things to stop, but nothing ever worked. I know it doesn’t look great, but it has caused no issues for me, and I’m approaching 50.
She’s not doing it to be naughty. Rewards and punishments won’t work. It’s a sign of anxiety or it’s something some neurodivergent do. It’s more like a compulsion. When you punish her for something she can’t control well, it can create a feeling of shame.
View it as a symptom of a bigger problem. It’s something a therapist can help with.
I was this kid. I broke myself of the habit by redirecting the biting to my actual fingers. I was diagnosed with adhd when I was 46. I was an extremely shy/anxious child. It was never even considered that I could have adhd because I could read a book to the end. Punishment is just going to make her hate herself because she really does want to stop, she just can’t. please get her evaluated.
I’m 30+ years into nail biting. The only thing that has ever slowed it down was nail polish. Simply because I hate the texture of it against my teeth.
Acrylic nails were impossible for me to bite through the couple times I’ve had them, but I also can’t stand them on my nails for too long since the tops of my finger tips (where the nail should be) are stupidly sensitive to pressure.
There’s a clear coat specifically for nail biters. Won’t see it but she’ll taste it and should be deterred. If that doesn’t work, then yea maybe ask a doctor about potential sensory issues.