Since last month, I’d feel incredibly weary of socializing. I feel out of place, standing on the edge of social circles but can’t connect to people anymore. Granted I’m not in any clique, but it usually not bothering me since i have close friends, family, and a lot of interests. I still have all of these, but i feel empty and questioning social wise. Particularly at work, there is a strong sense of “I’m tired…and it doesn’t matter if i speak up anyway” which is out of character as I’m usually direct and don’t hesitate to raise my concerns. Even my boss said they feel I’m not as assertive as before.
To my friends, i hesitate to contact or send them memes because i don’t want to bother them and do they really like me, or they’re just polite? Maybe my jokes are flat and they respond just to be kind. Idk.
It’s exactly a year since my parent passed away and I’d been feeling down more and more since end of Feb. I feel like i can burst into tears at any moment and actually somehow I’m crying now. I guess idk if it’s a social phase, grief, or something else? I just want to curl into a ball and hiding in a cave, so that i won’t make “wrong” social moves and if i don’t interact with people, i won’t be sad that i can’t connect to them? Work has been a mess and i don’t feel heard so i guess i just whatever because I’m tired, man. Anyone been through similar situations and have advices, please?
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These are the classic signs of depression. I’m sure others here will help you out with ways to deal with this. Good luck!! I know that you are loved by those around you.
This is really hard I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. It sounds to me like you are having a depressive episode. Not feeling motivated or energised to contribute in conversation in work, or have curiosity about things/others in social settings.
Do you feel like you’re going through the motions day to day? Do you struggle with even things you enjoy like hobbies or just unwinding with a book or TV show?
With the passing of a parent, your world got altered in a fundamental way. It makes sense that your mind is re-evaluating and questioning everything you know, even if you aren’t conscious of it. For it to take months for this to impact you like this is also very common. Grief is strange, and we power through things sometimes before it truly registers deeply.
I would suggest raising this with your doctor. What you describes reminds me of every depressive episode I’ve had. Losing interest in being involved in life, along with a strange ‘numbness’ to everything is my first warning sign.
Of your doctor agrees you are in a depression, they will probably assess your ‘risk factors’ (such as network of support, using of substances to self medicate, ability to eat/sleep/care for yourself) and will most likely suggest talking therapy and maybe medication short term.
Just know, with feeling lost at those social events and unable to connect… It’s not you. There’s nothing wrong with you, but you’re going through a lot emotionally and that’s really hard.
I’m not a therapist or Dr, my advice is anecdotal but if you want to talk about my experience of medication and therapy then just reply I’m more than happy to share xxxx