I (29F) about to turn 30, have seen myself thinking a lot about life and interactions of late.
I feel like I’m looking at women more often and in a different way (not sexually eying them up and down). Maybe just wanting a new friend & seeing where it’ll go?
The business I run takes up most of my time. I work alongside my husband/business partner (31M) of 10+ years. It’s a trade-base business in a male dominated industry. The demographic we live in is heavily on the aged-aging side.
My family doesn’t live close (not that’s it’s the best dynamic) nor do I have friends as my career has taken precedence.
For the last 6 or so years, there hasn’t felt like an opportunity to meet women – even travelling for work at seminars and expos.
So, I’m not really sure where to go from here.
Any other women around this age bracket wanting/craving that joy that comes from having good women in your life?
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I’m not being critical of your question when I say this, but the amount of times this question is pitched in this sub leads me to believe that many women are silently feeling the same way as you.
One common thing I read in many of the posts is “xyz takes up most of my time” which almost makes it impossible to offer advice because friendships require time and effort and (much like dating) repeated efforts to find connection. It’s a tough spot to be in, with limited solutions.
Download meet up and see if your area has “women 30+” social groups. That’s what I did and had some really awesome outings with women, we went to breweries on our bikes and attended markets and went hiking. If none in your area, start one!
Yes, 100%! I’m 31 and seriously craving more close female friendships too. Most of my besties live states away, and trying to keep a Zoom schedule or even an active text thread going? Practically impossible, it’s like herding caffeinated squirrels.
I work a 9-5 and run a business with my husband, so it’s tricky sometimes because a lot of my friends are more focused on raising kiddos right now, and we’re just in different day-to-day worlds.
I’d happily be your friend, OP — sounds like we have a lot in common! Is there a Discord or chat group for this subreddit? Would love to connect.
What I find most difficult with friendships in thirties is that it’s a lot harder to connect on meaningful level. I do have good social circle, friendships and meet new people also but it’s a lot harder to actually connect with someone enough to start sacrificing my time and build meaningful friendships. Life is busy with work, family, existing relationships to waste time getting to know people. I have great friend who I really click with but we live very far away and see each other every couple of years but constantly text and call. However I haven’t really been able to connect with anyone else on such a level for years.
Yes, painfully so! I (34) have kinda come out of this cocoon of single parenting the past 12 years and also focusing on my career. Plus unfortunately two failed relationships who kind of stood in as best friends. Ugh I regret not also balancing things more with finding friendship in my 20s. At least youre figuring it out now 😊 I hate that there are very little “third spaces” nowadays it seems, unless a person is religious which I’m not anymore. And not a lot of meet-up groups in my area (major metro so this is weird… minneapolis) unless you already have a hardcore hobby like gaming etc…
Randomly seen a few more opportunities on next door app tho which surprised me. I’m not going to give up even if its daunting. Also am trying to find a therapist so I can work on my depression so I don’t dump on people too much. Dang this last breakup lol.
Anyways sorry for the major rant! Good luck to you!
Where are you from? I’m definitely need in some good female friends!
While I do crave meaningful female friendships in my 30’s, my sad realization is that the closest relationships I have are with women I’ve known from childhood and it’s difficult (at least for me) to start that dynamic over from scratch once you’ve reached a certain age.
Lots of women are tied up with work, relationships, children, managing their health and keeping their home in order. It’s hard to create a deep, meaningful connection with someone when they have so many other priorities.
I’m also the same age and I feel this. I had great friends and active social life in college but as the years go on, more and more people have moved away and everyone is busier. I’ve tried out different meet up events but can’t really seem to meet long term friends at these types of things. I go out by myself a lot, but it gets lonely. I don’t really have any advice, but I’m in the same boat and understand the feeling.
I also crave women centered friendships, but at this point in my life I’m no longer willing to make an effort since it burns me out. The past few friendships I’ve had, I didn’t realize my friends had some sort of animosity towards me until it showed up every time I was happy in my life. I have a lot of betrayal trauma from years of abuse, and seeing it in my close friendships being lied to, belittled, or having my vulnerabilities weaponized against me has me shut out from letting anyone else fully in, which stinks because I consider myself a very good, thoughtful friend.