When I was 17/18 I dated some loser guy who sexually abused and harassed me it was a pretty traumatic time in my life and led to me nearly losing my life. Anyway following this I became increasingly misogynistic, hating feminism, sympathizing with incels, men who hate women, the whole deal and it was the worst possible form of a defense mechanism. I stopped dressing feminine, stopped talking to my friends who were all mostly female, became increasingly isolated, I started hating women in the same way men do.
This was all very internalized though not that it makes it any better but you would think I would have done the opposite. At the time I was even on this sub and left it because of my ideologies and I’m back now and I’m just trying to work through why I became like this. I’m 21 now and I’ve stopped having these views and I think it’s quite ridiculous now but I also I know I was traumatized.
I’m curious if anyone else has felt the same and what did they do about it in the specific instance that It wasn’t society that led to internalized misogyny but a traumatic event by the hand of a man?