It happened to me after COVID/ around the end of 2020.
I outgrew my friend group of that time and the drama that came with it .
I centered my life around my friends and shifted into focusing more on myself and what matters to me . I also created better bonds with my family who I’ve come to appreciate more and more as I get older .
I’d so much prefer to stay home with my husband and daughter to going out and I too used to be Such an extrovert. I was actually struggling with this tradition for the last two years or so, thinking it was wrong of me and I should force myself to stay super social. But, once I took a breath and reevaluated my own natural priorities, I’m much more comfortable in my decisions now.
My shift came after moving country in my mid-20s, it was not the exciting adventure i had hoped for, it was very traumatic and difficult with a lot of grief. Didn’t know anyone except my husband, it wasn’t the friendliest / warmest culture to strangers, and I was really busy trying to find my feet. Suffered severe mental health issues and after a few years of that I just lost the “knack” for being with people and making genuine friends.
I moved country again, love where we live now but never fully recovered my social skills after Covid (which happened 2 weeks after we moved!). I have a lot of friendly acquaintances and do fun things with them, and it’s really nice. But I haven’t had a genuine close friend – someone that knows me well and whom I speak to regularly – since 2016. I have old friends who knew me from before 2016 but so much has changed and we live so far apart that it’s jarringly out of sync. I love them but we’re no longer close.
Oh, I also stopped drinking and smoking and don’t go to bars / pubs often so that’s been deleterious to the prospect of meeting new people as well. I also think it’s waaaay easier making friends as a single woman than as a married woman. Noone approaches you to chat if you are with a partner.
I ended up leaving the music scene and I definitely don’t go to bars anymore. I do dialysis and work/school. My husband is my best friend. I love watching crimes shows more and having a glass of proseccco in the bath with a good thriller. Life is good this way.
Yup. Some people grow up at a certain age, and become comfortable with themselves. They don’t need constant validation, in order to feel okay about who they are.
Yes, but I turned 30 in 2020 so it’s hard for me to say it was age vs COVID. I think COVID fundamentally changed me as a person. I was super extroverted, booked, & busy before
i was always the floater person in school and in my 20s – people knew of my existence, but i never belonged to one group so i was never in the “in” crowd
now that i’m older and in my mid 30s – i’m no longer interested in meaningless friendships anymore
i think quality is better than quantity
i also don’t care about partying or feel like I’m missing out on anything and don’t feel the need to drink as much as i used to between the ages of 17-25 vs now or partake in hooking up and don’t feel like i’m a loser for not doing those things anymore
i’ve just changed
i love being around positive, kind, and genuine people, but not at the cost of my peace or desperate and sickening people pleasing efforts
it’s more about the balance of knowing how to comfortably be alone and find peace in that, but also valuing others vs writing everyone off
Yes! I remember in my 20s fearing that I’d never want to stop partying, and then when COVID hit I got comfortable being by myself and not having constant plans. Since then, I’ve largely lost my appetite for going out — I enjoy the peacefulness of home, and I’d rather have a wonderful day (without the hangover) than one fun night. Exercise is also really important to me, and if I’m low on sleep or energy it impacts my workouts, which in turn impacts my mental health.
I enjoyed socializing a lot in my youth and now I’m kind of just hermiting. I feel too overwhelmed and drained every time I try to get social again every once in a while.
I’m the opposite haha. I was suicidal and depressed/unmedicated through my 20’s so all I did was stay home 99.9% of the time with my dogs and watching tv/movies/gaming. Now medicated in my 30’s I go out every weekend with friends and my husband as often as possible!
We got on dates, run errands and meet friends for dinner or movies. My heart is so full, I’m so thankful for my friends
Turned 30, then turned 31 and realized I REALLY don’t enjoy drinking much if at all. So, as of 31 I look forward to chillin on the couch with my fiancé, dog in his lil bed, candle lit while we watch a show. I’d rather do that every weekend than get ready and go out lol. It could also be that it was wintery and cold for so long where I live….
Comments
Any idea what caused the shift?
It happened to me after COVID/ around the end of 2020.
I outgrew my friend group of that time and the drama that came with it .
I centered my life around my friends and shifted into focusing more on myself and what matters to me . I also created better bonds with my family who I’ve come to appreciate more and more as I get older .
omg this!! yessss i just find going out exhausting esp club, bar scenes… hangovers suck
Yeah, i stopped drinking and poof, no longer an extrovert. Give me cuddles, food, movies, and chillin’ over going out any day.
I’d so much prefer to stay home with my husband and daughter to going out and I too used to be Such an extrovert. I was actually struggling with this tradition for the last two years or so, thinking it was wrong of me and I should force myself to stay super social. But, once I took a breath and reevaluated my own natural priorities, I’m much more comfortable in my decisions now.
I pay too much for the roof over my head to want to be anywhere else!
This happened to me at 24. I was too focused on my masters program, planning a wedding, and taking care of my sick mother.
My shift came after moving country in my mid-20s, it was not the exciting adventure i had hoped for, it was very traumatic and difficult with a lot of grief. Didn’t know anyone except my husband, it wasn’t the friendliest / warmest culture to strangers, and I was really busy trying to find my feet. Suffered severe mental health issues and after a few years of that I just lost the “knack” for being with people and making genuine friends.
I moved country again, love where we live now but never fully recovered my social skills after Covid (which happened 2 weeks after we moved!). I have a lot of friendly acquaintances and do fun things with them, and it’s really nice. But I haven’t had a genuine close friend – someone that knows me well and whom I speak to regularly – since 2016. I have old friends who knew me from before 2016 but so much has changed and we live so far apart that it’s jarringly out of sync. I love them but we’re no longer close.
Oh, I also stopped drinking and smoking and don’t go to bars / pubs often so that’s been deleterious to the prospect of meeting new people as well. I also think it’s waaaay easier making friends as a single woman than as a married woman. Noone approaches you to chat if you are with a partner.
Same! I get so drained from too many social interactions now.
I ended up leaving the music scene and I definitely don’t go to bars anymore. I do dialysis and work/school. My husband is my best friend. I love watching crimes shows more and having a glass of proseccco in the bath with a good thriller. Life is good this way.
Idk why this happens but this happened to me especially after the pandemic. Probably ive gotten to like the lifestyle the pandemic forced us to be in
Lost lots of friends too, but i kept my constants
Yup. Some people grow up at a certain age, and become comfortable with themselves. They don’t need constant validation, in order to feel okay about who they are.
Yes! It’s like I’ve been there done it. That was 20’s me. And now I don’t have to do that.
Yes, but I turned 30 in 2020 so it’s hard for me to say it was age vs COVID. I think COVID fundamentally changed me as a person. I was super extroverted, booked, & busy before
i was always the floater person in school and in my 20s – people knew of my existence, but i never belonged to one group so i was never in the “in” crowd
now that i’m older and in my mid 30s – i’m no longer interested in meaningless friendships anymore
i think quality is better than quantity
i also don’t care about partying or feel like I’m missing out on anything and don’t feel the need to drink as much as i used to between the ages of 17-25 vs now or partake in hooking up and don’t feel like i’m a loser for not doing those things anymore
i’ve just changed
i love being around positive, kind, and genuine people, but not at the cost of my peace or desperate and sickening people pleasing efforts
it’s more about the balance of knowing how to comfortably be alone and find peace in that, but also valuing others vs writing everyone off
too much of anything is never a good thing
Nope. Quite thr opposite. I have more friends now at 30 than I ever did in my 20s
Yes! I remember in my 20s fearing that I’d never want to stop partying, and then when COVID hit I got comfortable being by myself and not having constant plans. Since then, I’ve largely lost my appetite for going out — I enjoy the peacefulness of home, and I’d rather have a wonderful day (without the hangover) than one fun night. Exercise is also really important to me, and if I’m low on sleep or energy it impacts my workouts, which in turn impacts my mental health.
I enjoyed socializing a lot in my youth and now I’m kind of just hermiting. I feel too overwhelmed and drained every time I try to get social again every once in a while.
I’m the opposite haha. I was suicidal and depressed/unmedicated through my 20’s so all I did was stay home 99.9% of the time with my dogs and watching tv/movies/gaming. Now medicated in my 30’s I go out every weekend with friends and my husband as often as possible!
We got on dates, run errands and meet friends for dinner or movies. My heart is so full, I’m so thankful for my friends
Turned 30, then turned 31 and realized I REALLY don’t enjoy drinking much if at all. So, as of 31 I look forward to chillin on the couch with my fiancé, dog in his lil bed, candle lit while we watch a show. I’d rather do that every weekend than get ready and go out lol. It could also be that it was wintery and cold for so long where I live….
I love staying in!