I (34f) have dated several men and I feel like a common theme I’ve experienced is that I never have deep stimulating conversations with the men I date. I have these conversations with my friends who are women and I refer to one of my good friends as my soulmate. At this point, I’ve accepted that I won’t connect with men on the same level as I do with women. Maybe I’m subconsciously holding back with men or maybe sometimes I feel like I’m talking to a wall. Has anyone else felt this way and eventually found a male partner that they do connect with on a deeper level?
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You’re dating boring men if that’s happening. There are definitely men out there who can have very interesting conversations. I know some, though my dad is one and he’s old and married to my mom.
I thought this until I met my current partner. Turns out I didn’t like any of the past men I dated lol.
I have lots of deep fulfilling connections and conversations with male friends – the fact that we’re able to talk like that is the very foundation of our friendship.
Also a guy I just started seeing, we can literally talk about anything and everything, intellectually he really feels on my level. So while it’s not a serious relationship, it’s gratifying to know that’s out there.
I feel like my friendships are different than my romantic relationships but not because of conversations. Theyre just very separate in my mind.
A lot of people/men are just bad conversationalists tho.
for me it’s the opposite. Been with my partner for 18 years and he’s my best friend. We can talk about weird things, deep things, childhood traumas, there’s no barrier. He knows shit about me that i’ve never told to anyone else. Nearly half his memories are my memories now, and vice-versa, though I sometimes forget things about my own past, but he doesn’t forget. He’s my better half.
I feel similarly. I just don’t feel like I have much in common with most straight men and that’s okay.
I sort of get you, OP. I feel like I’m bisexual with a significant preference for men, but also maybe biromantic with a moderate preference for women? We just connect on really different levels. I feel like I’m conversationally waaay closer to women (and occasionally “effeminate” men); it does feel more like two ~bosom friends~ (in the immortal words of Miss Anne Shirley) joining together. We connect over similarities and there’s almost like a sparkling energy to that type of connection.
However, life-wise I feel way closer to (more conventionally masculine) men, especially where it feels more like we complement each other. I don’t feel as much of an urge to connect in the same way as I do with women; rather, I’m ~seduced~ by the differences. It’s low-key why I’m drawn to men who are the strong, silent type and speak with their hands, their eyes, their actions – there’s something about the non-verbal connection that makes my pulse quicken. I’m probably not doing a great job of explaining it, but that’s how I feel.
Edit: Oops, to answer your other question yep, I did manage to find a man who is my “soul mate”, but it still feels different from the type of connection I have with other women. With other women I feel like we can relate to each other on a deeper level but with my husband I feel like we just see each other and have each other’s backs like no other. We do relate to each other too, but probably not as strongly as we do with other women for me and other men for him. Does that make any sense at all? I’m kind of just mind dumping here but I might give this a real think and come back to elaborate properly…
Im BLESSED with amazing friends. We have deep, no holds barred conversations. My husband never has the patience or interest. Hes great about many other things. I just accept that is never going to be a facet of our relationship. Thank God for my GF’s!
My bf is my best friend. Better than any girl friend Ive had. But this is my first relationship where I can say that (and we’ve been together over 5 years).
I felt that way too but that led me to figure out I was queer so. 🙃
I felt like this for the longest time until I met my current partner. I think it helps that we grew up with eerily similar personalities and experiences, so we really just get each other in a way I haven’t been able to with my gal friends.
Nah my partner is my best friend and a really awesome guy.
I think I never feel fulfilled with romantic relationships, especially after enduring abuse. So I understand this sentiment.
I’ve had the sort of relationship you’re describing with two people: my best friend (female) and my ex-husband (male). I suppose I can’t imagine a romantic relationship that doesn’t have friendship as a significant element of it. But then I don’t date, so.