I’m a 35f who has lived alone for the better part of 10 years. Recently, I’ve been extremely lonely. I see my friends as much as I can (one once or twice a week and my other two monthly) since most of my friends are married or have kids. I loved living alone, but recently it’s lost its shine. Im thinking of breaking my lease to move back home and my parents totally support it and have told me they’re excited to have me back. I was gonna wait til my lease is up, but this loneliness is just tough. I don’t anticipate this will hurt my dating life since my parents understand I’m an adult and I won’t bring people home (I rarely bring guys home now, living alone😅).
Do any other women here live with their parents? Has it hurt your dating life at all? How is it going or how was it?
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If you are lonely, it’s because your friendship network isn’t solid enough (and I know it’s not easy to build, and it takes time to maintain).Â
You can’t count on a man to fix the issue.
So yeah, definitely move in with your parents if it feels good! But make sure you work on building lasting friendships! These take 1+ year to develop by the way.
I never moved back in with my parents, but if that’s what you want to do, you should do it.Â
My only reservation with this is that you’re using this as a sort of coping mechanism to deal with loneliness. My worry for you would be what happens when they pass away? It’s morbid to think about, but I’ve reached an age where my friends’ parents have started passing away, which made me think about that when I read your post.Â
I had to move back in with my mom and sister following a breakup. Rental prices in my area were outside my price range when my ex and I broke up. I got a new job but with the US market volatility, I don’t feel comfortable enough in my career to commit to a lease – not until things aren’t as unstable.
So I did it more out of necessity than out of loneliness. I’m glad I had that fallback.
Some people will view it as a red flag, and that’s fine. If you’re ok with the idea and your parents are ok with the idea, then I’d say go for it. And while you’re doing that, work on building up your social network to bridge that loneliness when you move out again.
I’m living in a three story home with my family.
My parents are very sick, both disabled. I’m happy that I’m here with them.
I think it’s a great idea. You’ll save a lot of money and if you don’t like it, you can always find another place and move back out.
I’m going to go against the grain here- its 100% totally valid to feel lonely living alone, and it doesn’t mean that you haven’t invested into a friendship network. For the overwhelming majority of human kind, people were living with those that they love/ care about, and you can have the greatest friendships on the planet, but also want to have a home filled with people you love.
I’m 33, VERY high income (only relevant because I have zero need for splitting bills/ the financial benefits of living with parents) and spent 8 months living with my parents after a breakup a few months ago. I’m now back to spend the next 2 weeks here, because while I love my friends and my life, it is MADNESS that living alone is seen as universally superior to living with family that you love.
Living with my mother was fantastic. I’d stay with her permanently if she didn’t live in the middle of nowhere (I live in Manhattan). And there is FAR less stigma for women that live with their parents than men that live with their parents (though we should work towards eliminating that stigma for men). You can far more easily go to their place than yours. I wouldn’t even mention it on the first date, to be honest, as its not super relevant.
When I was 25 I had to move back in with my parents after a breakup. It was extremely difficult after living independently because I loved having my own space and being able to do things in my own way. Unfortunately (and I can only tell of my experience) regardless of my age at the time, my parents still saw me as their little girl. I know they tried their best to treat me like an adult and to allow me my own space but it was desperately challenging.
You really don’t appreciate your own space until you lose it and also, I’m sure not everyone is like this, but a lot of parents will struggle to give you that independence because to them, you will always be their little child. Anyone who has had to live with their parents as an adult can tell you it can be hugely frustrating.
I’m not saying all this will be true for you, but maybe consider staying with them for a month or so before committing to moving in fully? It’s a huge life change going back to living with your parents, and for me, it didn’t really fix the loneliness that I was feeling for friends and peers my own age. It was more difficult to have friends over, movie nights or people round for dinner ect because everything had to also be planned around my parents and although my parents tried their best, it just doesn’t compare to having your own space.
What are the repercussions to breaking your lease? What do you do for work?
Why don’t you instead just spend more time at their place? Go for dinner, go for coffee in the morning, have a wine night with your mom etc
I loooved living alone. But I also don’t have parents – my mom died and I am not in contact with my dad – so maybe I just don’t understand the appeal haha but if it was for financial reasons then all the power to ya!! I get jealous if people able to save money living with their parents, I’d probably own a house by now instead of dumping half my pay cheque into renting. But regardless I still loved my own space.