I just woke up after a very vivid dream where a grizzly bear broke into my house while I was sleeping, then laid down on top of me in bed. I spent 30 minutes trying to carefully and slowly reach my phone and call 911.
Yes, I am very glad I did not sleep-dial 911 asking in a hushed voice to break down my front door and carefully escort a bear out of my bed.
Anyway, my advice on relationships is that this is how foreplay should work. Spend 30 minutes being slow and calm, move carefully, and make sure the other party doesn’t want to fucking murder you.
I see per rule #1, I’m required to post age, gender, and length of relationship with a strict format. So here we go:
Me: 34M Bear: 8B (at least 8 years old, bear, did not check genitals due to health and safety risk) Length of relationship: at least 30 minutes
Per rule #2, I’m required to post a question. So, has anything like this happened to you? Years ago, I think 28M and 26F, I woke up my girlfriend because I’d just have a face-off with a wolf by a campfire in the woods. I was holding her very tight while growling in her ear aggressively in an attempt to intimidate a wolf.
(Tried posting to relationship advice, didn’t work. probably don’t have the karma?)
TLDR: foreplay like your life depends on it