Apparently hot, definitively anxious, and maybe ethically confused. How do I 33M deal eith SO’s 31F insecurity?

Me: 33M
Partner: 31F
Together 4 years, living together 2

So I’m writing this from what feels like the emotional Bermuda Triangle of “I did nothing wrong,” “I feel kind of awful,” and “Is this a plotline from a telenovela?”

A while back, I told my partner that a colleague had hit on me. Twice. Directly. I shut it down both times. I didn’t flirt back, didn’t entertain it, didn’t leave room for ambiguity. I told her because I believe in clear communication and figured honesty would help us build trust. Also kind of because she asked directly. It made her understandably uneasy about this person.

Then came a recent work trip. I was assigned to go. Guess who was on the mission with me? Yep. Same colleague. I didn’t choose it. Nothing happened. We kept things professional. But I made one very questionable decision: I didn’t tell H she was on the trip.

Why?

Because I knew how it would land. I figured: “Nothing inappropriate happened. I handled it. No need to cause stress.”

I thought I was protecting her.

Now I’m not so sure.

And the wild part? This isn’t even an isolated thing. These past few months have been like some surreal fever dream of unsolicited flirtation:

• The coffee shop bartender near my job offered a night with him and his “very well-endowed” boyfriend. Generous, but sir, I just wanted espresso.

• A girl in a smoking room thought “Follow me home and I’ll shower you in cocaine” was a valid pickup line… wonder if that ever worked? I dont even do C

• A guy at a work event thought “Let’s grab a drink” meant “Let me try to sneak into your hotel room.” Spoiler: I did not invite that interpretation… he messaged me cat memes for weeks after that.

• A woman at a bar terrace literally gave me shots and then decided to touch my arm while I was editing work documents and said, “Let’s spend a few hours in my apartment.” I was reading through fu**ing legislation…

• An HR employee invited me for dribks and at midnight casually told me, “The only reason I don’t invite you upstairs is because my friend’s sleeping over… but tomorrow I’m free.”

• One woman handed me her number and asked if I was into “mature ladies.” I was holding groceries.

All of this in like… 4 months?. I haven’t done anything wrong. But I’m starting to feel like I’m living inside an episode of Sexual Attention: The Curse and the Burden™. Jokes aside, this is starting to get freaky… its not like I changed anytging in my looks, interactions or habits either.

I didn’t cheat. I didn’t flirt. But I didn’t tell my partner this colleague was on that trip.

So here’s my actual question:

• Would you want to know something that could make you insecure, even if nothing happened and you already knew the history?

• If I tell her now, does that count as honesty… or just damage control dressed up in guilt?

I’m genuinely stuck. I care about her deeply. I didn’t act inappropriately—but I feel like I might’ve emotionally excluded her from something that would’ve mattered to her.

TL;DR:

I told my 31F partner that a colleague hit on me twice. She’s understandably uneasy about that person. That colleague recently joined me on a work trip, and I didn’t tell her. Now I’m wondering if staying silent—despite doing nothing wrong—still counts as a breach of trust. Also: I’ve been hit on by everyone short of my landlord lately, and I’m losing my mind.