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Pretty things are nice to look at. But if you love someone you see past their rolls or spots or bones and just them.
You’re just looking at your person, not a person.
Very, i don’t want to keep calling someone ugly or fat in my head 😂, and trust me in my head I call people all types of things just by looking at them.
Back in school, a girl once asked me out in front of quite a few people. I said yes—not because I was drawn to her straight away, but because it felt easier in the moment. Truth is, I wasn’t really attracted to her at first.
But we went on a few dates, spent some time together, and something shifted. As I got to know her, I began to really see her—and suddenly, I was attracted. Whatever I thought I saw before just faded away. Inner beauty is absolutely real.
That said… it’s always a bonus when there’s an instant spark, too.
Were all in this big bubble where we blow smoke up each others @sses and proclaim to the effect of,
“I must do this and that, it’s the RIGHT thing to do‘
Societies do coexist essentially through a generalised version of this method, there are norms which are loose but tend to be generally accepted. But it’s always an incredibly shaky system, when it is subject to constant flux and change, location dependant, subjective and largely indefinable.
Let’s not forget – today’s norm, was yesterdays avant garde and is tomorrows faux pas
(Mucky Grint, 2025)
The mass psychosis exists as this method is extrapolated into a situation where people are more concerned about the appearance of being right, rather the actual substance of their own thoughts, feelings and actions. This is a ludicrous reality and breaking free from the shackles of this pseudo-normality, will likely be the most liberating thing you ever do
Appearance in general tends to play into this but likely the desire to be attractive could be a more worthwhile driver, for taking care of your appearance
The real question that your post is raising is – why would anyone not want to appear attractive to their partner?
At the start of the relationship, it’s nice to look at your partner and say “dang this person looks good”. Then as you get to know each other at a deeper level, appearance isnt super important anymore
In a relationship, not at all. It’s important to get into a relationship, depending on the person. But for me, once we start dating, you’d be the prettiest person to me no matter what
You know the old saying, beauty is only skin deep?
Inital attractiveness is one thing. We all do it all the time. Walking down the street, you see someone who is attractive and you notice it. Doesn’t mean anything about their person or character.
Once you get to know someone, their appearance changes. Good or bad. As you get to know someone more, on a deeper level, it changes even more. When you find the right person, their appearance is beautiful overall. That doesn’t mean it’s perfect or something that doesn’t have to be maintained. Maintained as in caring for themselves.
This is why you see couples who have one partner who wouldn’t be considered conventionally attractive but their partner loves their appearance. That’s all that matters. That glimmer in their eye when they talk about their partner when they aren’t around. The snide smiles or giggle.
Look at it this way though.
If you’re super attractive, there’s always this level of insecurity that maybe they chose to be with you because of how you look.
Meanwhile, if you’re not super attractive and they still choose to be with you, at least you know they are choosing you for you.
Initially very important but that wanes with time. However, sexual attraction, especially for men, is based in physical attraction and a drop in physical attraction can result in a drop in sexual attraction leading to other issues in the relationship.
Character over chemistry always makes my pu$$¥ throb. Most of the beautiful faces & bodies gets the initial attention, but the lack of some traits I find attractive; consistency, clear communication, effort, humor, honesty and kindness aren’t there, I’m no longer interested. If I’m being honest sometimes the unattractive people have the most beautiful hearts, personality and aura… I MELT being around them.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Even people who are considered the most “universally” attractive are not attractive to everyone. Appearances matter insofar as they have to be attractive to me personally and not in accordance to any societal standards of beauty. And it’s a lot more about how the person handles themselves, their presence, their mannerisms, how well groomed they are, their voice, how they move, how they act, their confidence, eyes, smile and much less about height/weight/muscles/boobs/etc
Very important. Ever hear people complain their partner isn’t interested in having sex with them anymore? Appearance is just as important for being attractive to your partner as it is for other people when you’re single.
Having said that there’s a lot more to relationships than just physical attraction, so you can usually get away with a much lower standard.
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Answered!!to the response that best fit your question. This helps the community stay organized and focused on providing useful answers.I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Pretty things are nice to look at. But if you love someone you see past their rolls or spots or bones and just them.
You’re just looking at your person, not a person.
Very, i don’t want to keep calling someone ugly or fat in my head 😂, and trust me in my head I call people all types of things just by looking at them.
Appearance is important before a relationship as that is usually what initally attracts a partner.
Once in a relationship it’s nice to keep up appearances but is at almost the end of list of partner traits that are important to me.
Back in school, a girl once asked me out in front of quite a few people. I said yes—not because I was drawn to her straight away, but because it felt easier in the moment. Truth is, I wasn’t really attracted to her at first.
But we went on a few dates, spent some time together, and something shifted. As I got to know her, I began to really see her—and suddenly, I was attracted. Whatever I thought I saw before just faded away. Inner beauty is absolutely real.
That said… it’s always a bonus when there’s an instant spark, too.
As in, physical/sexual attraction? Incredibly important. What separates people from being close friends vs in a relationship? Sex.
Everyone essentially exists in a mass psychosis,
Were all in this big bubble where we blow smoke up each others @sses and proclaim to the effect of,
“I must do this and that, it’s the RIGHT thing to do‘
Societies do coexist essentially through a generalised version of this method, there are norms which are loose but tend to be generally accepted. But it’s always an incredibly shaky system, when it is subject to constant flux and change, location dependant, subjective and largely indefinable.
Let’s not forget – today’s norm, was yesterdays avant garde and is tomorrows faux pas
(Mucky Grint, 2025)
The mass psychosis exists as this method is extrapolated into a situation where people are more concerned about the appearance of being right, rather the actual substance of their own thoughts, feelings and actions. This is a ludicrous reality and breaking free from the shackles of this pseudo-normality, will likely be the most liberating thing you ever do
Appearance in general tends to play into this but likely the desire to be attractive could be a more worthwhile driver, for taking care of your appearance
The real question that your post is raising is – why would anyone not want to appear attractive to their partner?
At the start of the relationship, it’s nice to look at your partner and say “dang this person looks good”. Then as you get to know each other at a deeper level, appearance isnt super important anymore
In a relationship, not at all. It’s important to get into a relationship, depending on the person. But for me, once we start dating, you’d be the prettiest person to me no matter what
Appearance is as important as the two people in the relationship make it
Everyone is different
I’ll just say once you’re in a relationship whoever your person is becomes the most beautiful person in the world.
Depends on the occasion. Dress appropriately for the occasion and/or circumstances.
Really not that important.
I don’t care if she has no make up or walks around in casual clothes. I still think her natural body is attractive.
The thing that matters is her heart and soul.
You know the old saying, beauty is only skin deep?
Inital attractiveness is one thing. We all do it all the time. Walking down the street, you see someone who is attractive and you notice it. Doesn’t mean anything about their person or character.
Once you get to know someone, their appearance changes. Good or bad. As you get to know someone more, on a deeper level, it changes even more. When you find the right person, their appearance is beautiful overall. That doesn’t mean it’s perfect or something that doesn’t have to be maintained. Maintained as in caring for themselves.
This is why you see couples who have one partner who wouldn’t be considered conventionally attractive but their partner loves their appearance. That’s all that matters. That glimmer in their eye when they talk about their partner when they aren’t around. The snide smiles or giggle.
I LIKE to look good for my husband, but I also know I don’t HAVE to
Look at it this way though.
If you’re super attractive, there’s always this level of insecurity that maybe they chose to be with you because of how you look.
Meanwhile, if you’re not super attractive and they still choose to be with you, at least you know they are choosing you for you.
Dont chase.
Initially very important but that wanes with time. However, sexual attraction, especially for men, is based in physical attraction and a drop in physical attraction can result in a drop in sexual attraction leading to other issues in the relationship.
Character over chemistry always makes my pu$$¥ throb. Most of the beautiful faces & bodies gets the initial attention, but the lack of some traits I find attractive; consistency, clear communication, effort, humor, honesty and kindness aren’t there, I’m no longer interested. If I’m being honest sometimes the unattractive people have the most beautiful hearts, personality and aura… I MELT being around them.
For Men its number 1, we need to be attracted to the physical form of our girl.
For woman its alot less important than a man’s ability to emotionally connect with her and his ability to be a provider [aka $$$].
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Even people who are considered the most “universally” attractive are not attractive to everyone. Appearances matter insofar as they have to be attractive to me personally and not in accordance to any societal standards of beauty. And it’s a lot more about how the person handles themselves, their presence, their mannerisms, how well groomed they are, their voice, how they move, how they act, their confidence, eyes, smile and much less about height/weight/muscles/boobs/etc
Very important. Ever hear people complain their partner isn’t interested in having sex with them anymore? Appearance is just as important for being attractive to your partner as it is for other people when you’re single.
Having said that there’s a lot more to relationships than just physical attraction, so you can usually get away with a much lower standard.