Not that I have any issue with single fathers, children, or necessarily want a child free life. But in a perfect world I would meet a great guy and make the decision about whether to have children at all, together. Instead of their child already coming in a package, take it or leave it deal. Starting to feel like I’m too old to reasonably expect this out of men in my dating range. Children just make things more complicated overall that’s just a fact.
I’m 31, at this age is this something that I just have to accept? Single dads, F-boys, or no one? If the only thing against the guy is that he has a kid from a previous relationship. Should I still give it a go even though it wouldn’t be my ideal situation or keep looking? Sounds like I’m ranting but I do really want advice. Thanks
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I think it’s fine to date fathers but there has to be a zero tolerance for drama policy. If he and the mother have drama, forget it. If they co-parent like adults, even if they aren’t friendly, fine.
I personally found the dating market to be saturated with men who did want children, or at least the option for children.
At 31 there are plenty of men with children. Youre not yet at the stage where they are unicorns
Gosh, I hope not. I’m not actively dating atm, but as a 30 yr old woman who isn’t sure if she wants to have children, this is ideally who I’m seeking. Time will tell ~
Ive known several. Most of the men I know don’t have kids (likely because of interest groups) but I’d say the unicorn characteristic is “decent”. Decent men get snatched up and stay that way.
I work in a male dominated industry and have male dominated hobbies, and there are definitely guys I wonder why they’re single, maybe it’s because they spend all their time doing nerd stuff.
I am in childfree relationship and trying to get tips on couples counseling. So definitely doesn’t mean only sunny days unfortunately.
I remember feeling this way at one point, but now I find plenty of guys on the apps in their 30s without kids (and I’m 34). And it’s not a super progressive place where I’m at, but I’m not in the boonies. It’s up to you to decide whether it’s a compatibility issue I think. I haven’t had to really contemplate it because I haven’t found any guys with kids who were a good fit (or they’re always talking about their kids, which also prob means we’re not a good fit) and like I said, finding plenty without.
Idk maybe if you look at the ones that are close to being an empty nester that could widen your dating pool?
Apparently yes but also red flags
I always joke I snatched my husband the moment he stepped his foot outside of grad school. We met soon after he finished his PhD. Senior grad students, postdocs, and recent graduates might be a market to explore, very few people choose to have children during that time. These guys can come with PI drama though.
Depends on where you are? I live in a big city and had no problem finding child-free never married single men in their early 30s.
Decent men are rare, but I managed to find the one that I like in a few months, and had the pleasure to chat with a few decent and respectful men right before I went exclusive.
No I don’t think so. 31 is still very young.
Nope, we are out there.
Its probably your region? I big cities thats the norm rather than the exception
37F and I’m childfree by choice.
Quite a large chunk of my friendship circle are single mid/late 30s men with no children. Maybe it’s confirmation bias, but I don’t think it’s so rare.
They’re all great guys, no glaring red flags as to why they’re single. Most are just victims of long-term relationships that limped to death over their late 20s.
I found a good one over 30, with no kids. Definitely not easy though
I’m dating an awesome guy in his mid 30s with no kids, no desire to have kids and he’s great with my only kiddo. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have found him. They’re out there.
No. I found one who was 33 at the time. My husband is younger than me BTW. Many of my male friends don’t have children.
I’m 34F and I don’t want a man with a child. Here in my big city there’s plenty guys without children. But when I lived in a small town that was not a thing.
I’ve known a few who don’t have kids, unfortunately their in their “not interested in dating” phase. I wouldn’t call them fuckboys, but more the type whose life revolves around work and building financial stability for themselves.
It’s not weird at all, especially if you’re in a big city or a city that has a lot of universities. Focus on men who were building their careers or furthering their education. They are less likely to have children.
I met my husband when I was 33. He was 35. No kids. Absolutely great guy and fantastic dad. No kids before the one we have and certainly was very straightforward during our courtship, no games.
But…
He was pretty much an f boy or serial monogamist for much of his 20s and in a toxic relationship for his early 30s. Through random chance, I know his ex and I know how horrendous they were to one another. Things like moving 900 miles away to chase a dream without consulting your partner of several years.
She and her friends probably had a long conversation about how they don’t understand how we work at least once.