Started dating a guy about 3 weeks ago. He is Bi and hasn’t really dated men and told me he wanted to explore this side of himself. After our 2nd date I asked if he wanted to kiss and he said no because he’s too nervous to do it in public and doesn’t like PDAs. However, he asked to hold my hand on date 3. We had gone out about 3 times a week for the past 3 weeks and he has only ever held my hand that first week. Nothing since. He has made no attempt to kiss me or touch me since.
We speak on a daily basis via text a couple times through the day and keep setting up dates. I intentionally use the word “date” to describe this and he also comments on how we are dating. So we are both on the same page there. He has also commented that past guys want to get physical so quickly, but also admits he’s never dated someone for more than a month or so. I told him we can move at his pace and I don’t want to to ever make him uncomfortable.
I am just not sure where to go with this. I know we are dating, but I want to know if we are moving to slow or, if as a friend has suggested, that he’s just stringing me along. Should I ask him at our next date? Is it Ok to ask him again if I can kiss him or should I wait for him to ask me or initiate.
I like this guy, we have a lot in common, but I am also new to dating and relationships and feel like might scare him away.
TL;Dr : dating a guy for 3 weeks unsure how to approach wanting to kiss or even assess where we are in a relationship without scaring him away.
Comments
fr fr, people sleep on how much social skills actually impact success. like yeah, book smarts matter but if you can’t vibe w ppl or sell your ideas, nothing’s gonna take off. gotta work both sides of the brain imo.
You are definitely moving at a very slow pace, and i think it’s totally valid to want more physicality than what this relationship is currently providing. I think that with him having never really dated men, it seems like he is still apprehensive about the physical side of things, and while it’s good to have patience, I would also want to feel like things are moving forward. The fact that there was early hand-holding that has stopped feels like a step forward, and I would have expected a kiss to happen sometime in the first 5 dates. I think it’s a good idea to let him know that you are looking for more from the relationship in terms of physicality, and if he’s not comfortable with that, then I would probably move on. To him, “exploring that side of himself” may mean more of a theoretical or purely romantic exploration without a physical/sexual component, and that’s not the sort of relationship it sounds like you’re looking for (and I wouldn’t be either).