Hi everyone, I’m new to reddit and still understanding how this works, but there’s a lot I want to get off my chest. So here it goes…
I’m a 25-year-old Indian Muslim woman, and I’ve never had my period. My parents are looking for rishtas, but I feel like I’m deceiving someone because I may not be able to have kids. I love children, but deep down, I’ve made peace with the fact that I might never have my own.
I used to believe in love, had my heart broken once, and shut myself off. But now, after years, I feel like I want to try again. I just don’t know if there’s anyone out there who would accept me the way I am.
All I’ve ever wanted is a stable home. I work hard, travel daily in packed local trains, and hustle for a living. I look average, but I know I’m smart enough to take care of myself. I love traveling, seeing new places, and feeling alive.
But for the last few months, just thinking about marriage has been making me feel depressed. I really want to find a partner—someone who is well-settled, old-school romantic, and wouldn’t mind a life without biological kids. Someone who believes that marriage is about love, support, and companionship.
Is that too much to ask?
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Not too much to ask at all. As a Muslim man myself, there are a lot of people who fit your exact criteria. I hope life treats you well in the future.
more power to you , inshaallah you will find someone who accepts you the way you are and loves you unconditionally
Yup. Can choose for adoption, ivf or alternatively 2nd wife. Muslim marriage is a good place to start
Afaik you are coming from a culture where the normalized thing to do is having children.
You have not mentioned where you live and if you are willing to look outside of your culture (which doesn’t mean you have to abandon yours).
If you are looking for someone within your own circle prepare for a long look. But there is someone for everyone. And be honest with the man and their family, even if your parents keep your possible condition a secret. Otherwise you set up everyone for disappointment.
And even more importantly: go to a gynecologist appointment if you can, and ask them for a diagnosis. Until you don’t know what is happening with your body, and what you can expect in the future, you cannot make a good decision about your future.
I’m not Muslim, but as a woman who can’t have kids (for medical reasons different than yours) I truly believe that you can find love.
Yes, it might be a dealbreaker for some men, but not for all. Whoever your partner will be, they should love you for who you are, not for what you can “give” to them. I understand it hurts especially if you really love kids, but there’s nothing you can do about it.
As long as you accept it as part of yourself and as long as you’re honest with whoever you see fit as a future partner when they show up, everything will be fine. Trust yourself and trust the process 🤗
Surely a much more enriching love than somone that sees you simply as a uterus
Hi I have seen a patient who never got periods but she got married to a guy who is a divorcee or a widower idk about that and have step kids..so since you can’t have kids you can look for this option…Honestly since you are from subcontinent Idk whether guys will be open to never having kids but you can marry a divorcee or a widower
I’m also muslim and yeah
You just have to look around and for your special case you will have to look harder but In the end you will find someone that shares your view as this mindset is spreading
Anyway best of luck to you
Just find someone that doesn’t want kids either
I know a lot of men (my husbands friends) who are happy and single and only want a partner / wife and no kids.
I don’t know if you ever went to the gynecologist and he doesn’t have to look at you, but he could test your blood. Maybe it’s an iron deficiency or other reasons why you don’t have your period. Something that is easy treatable. I wish you a lot of luck and btw I am also not sure about having kids. Traveling the world and living in peace sounds amazing to me. Times have changed. Society has understood that we women are not just made to have children. We can do anything we want.
There are some guys for whom you would be the dream partner, no chance of having kids by accident and young enough to travel and enjoy life. As long as you are honest and upfront by the 3d or 4th date it is zero problems imo.
The only tricky thing is how to approach revealing it, maybe just put in your dating profiles/etc “No interest in having kids” or something gentle like that and bring it up if the person clicks. I would NOT bring it up in the first date at all, don’t overload the other person with information. Also if things start getting serious (3+ months) be absolutely certain the other person knows you CANNOT have biological kids so there is no misunderstanding a year later.
Insyaallah you can. Not everyone wants kids, i’m sure there’ll be someone for you, you know what they say, there’s always an abaya for everyone, i’m kidding no one said that. But you get what i mean, there’s always someone for someone. Also, considering you havent had menses at 25, have you went to the doctor to check?