Location: Los Angeles
Simply put, I was raped by an LASD sheriff who is my uncle by blood on his wedding night inside his house. They found 135 photos and videos of my body and him raping me. I was drunk and asleep.
I can’t catch a break hearing from my other side of the family that I’m going to be destroyed in court and humiliated and embarrassed. My aunt is a paralegal and every time I speak with her she tells me his legal team could’ve hired a private investigator on me and that I need to be very careful what I do everyday and that they’re going to try to make me look as bad as possible.
I’m 19 and I’m really scared I’m in a bad position. Am I going to be asked bad questions in court, do they really try to make rape victims look like bad people?
Edit: my aunt working in the legal field is on the opposite side of my family, she is unrelated to the uncle that raped me.
Comments
Is this a criminal case(he was charged with a crime) or are you suing him?
I have absolutely no idea how these cases work, but I doubt they can make you look worse than a rapist. It can be tough, and I hope you stay strong, but if I was raped, I wouldn’t care about anything anyone said. I would really just want the other person to go to prison. I personally wouldn’t back down unless a trusted lawyer specifically advised me to.
Why do you think they are trying to scare you? Because you have the power now. Has the prosecutor contacted you? Write down every question you have for him/her. Hopefully they will have a victim advocate work with you. Stop talking to the aunt etc. If he is convicted of some very serious crimes, he’ll lose his job and end up in jail. Marriage will likely end too. What he did to you was disgusting and he should be held accountable.
I’m not a lawyer but as a fellow human I just want to say I think you are extremely courageous and whatever happens in that court room, you know in your heart what is true and just and you are worth fighting for. The truth and justice is always worth fighting for. I hope you do have good legal council and best of luck.
They will try to humiliate you but stay strong! Use the photos to your advantage and don’t be discouraged by what they will try to imply (you encouraged it, you wore something sexy, you’ve always wanted your uncle, etc.) make sure to bring solid friends with you. And get over any embarrassment you feel even if it’s justified.
Very sorry you are going through this. Take care of yourself and remember that you are 100% in the right here. Speak your truth.
This makes me so livid. I am so sorry you’re dealing with this and that your uncle and aunt are both huge pieces of shit.
LASD is a gang, and they are known for defending their own, so it isn’t surprising that she’s threatening you like this.
I have no legal advice, but I hope your uncle takes a bu**et in the line of duty real soon.
Stop talking to these people.
If any of them have sent you messages like this, transmit them to the prosecutor. I have seen messages from family to victim in sex assault cases that would have crossed the line into witness tampering if they had made it to the PA’s office.
The basic rule on this is that it’s not the wild West like it used to be. The defense is not allowed to drag victims through the mud, in most states.
It will not be FUN, but it’s not the bad old days.
Stay the course.
I had a family member go through something similar, and from what it sounds like with your family, we actually tried to support her. Honestly, it sounds like they’re trying to scare you or put doubt in your mind about it so you don’t follow through with this, but honestly fuck that and fuck them.
I was in the courtroom the whole time watching the trial and yes, they will try to make you look bad. They will ask you very difficult questions, and some of them will seem completely ridiculous, and an emotional response is what they want. Try to hold it together as best as possible. Do you have an attorney? They should be able to guide you through this sort of thing.
There is the saying “let no sword formed against me prosper.” Do not give them the power to embarrass you. They can call you names, say you do despicable things, but you know who you are and what was done. Stand tall, and let those motherFers fear you.