I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never had any kind of physical affection from a woman that wasn’t my mother. I’ve never had a beautiful woman who was not in a customer service position smile at me. I can’t really blame other people or women in general fully because truthfully I don’t really put myself out there. I have a job that went WFH during the pandemic and I just kind of stayed home and even ended up selling my car because it was just sitting there unused and I can either walk anywhere I need to and have groceries and everything else delivered to me.
I was already isolating myself and didn’t really do anything outside of work, played video games and watch movies but the pandemic really pushed me farther in and it’s hard to get back out. The fact of the matter is I really feel like I fucked my life up. I’ve waited too long. Most women in general would not find me even remotely attractive in any way, shape or form and in my age group very few women are single anymore. To make matters worse I am self aware enough to know that while I am undiagnosed I have to be somewhere on the autism spectrum and legitimately have no idea how to relate to or converse with a woman in a way that does not involve my work.
I genuinely think it’s over for me before it started in terms of ever falling in love or starting a family and while this isn’t the life I wanted when I’m pushing 40 this is the one I have and the chances of that changing before I die are very slim. I also do have a lot to be grateful for. I’m by no means wealthy but I have a good job and a very comfortable standard of living and have been able to squirrel away a good sized nest egg to retire on so that assuming I do live to old age I will not have to work. I also have a good amount of disposable income for hobbies and other fun things. I own a home that is fully paid off with a decent sized yard in a good area in a quiet part of town. I’m physically healthy outside of being fat and out of shape. These are all things that I really and truly am grateful for despite being very alone.
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the first thing you have to change is your opinion about yourself…. start knowing you’re worthy. treat your body like its worthy. put down the video games and join a Meetup group. hell, I’d be your friend if you lived in Houston, but you’re probably not as grotesque as you make yourself out to be. we are our own harshest critics, but the world sees you through different eyes. good luck, you can do it just like everyone else.
I’m a 20 yo dude and I would date you if u are willing ofc.
you have a good mentality. You are taking accountability for not putting yourself out there and looking on the positives in your life. You just gotta get yourself out there and theres someone for everyone. Just talk to girls like you talk to guys, make friends – take it from there. You got this! Its all confidence at the end of the day
its not too late. you need to get motivated and take care of yourself though. every day is a chance to change your life. dont wait
Only takes one day to turn that all around man, keep your head up.
You should live in the sewer and become a supervillain. You’ll have to practice your evil laugh first tho.
I will start off by saying, you are more than you think you are. You may not realize it, but you are.
Now maybe you can try lowering the amount of time that you’re gaming or using any electronics so you have time to do more productive things, even if they don’t last long. Try going to the gym maybe, add it into your schedule for a while and then slowly add more days until it becomes a habit. Once it becomes a habit, you will improve dramatically and will notice the changes. Do not think that just because you are 39, you are anywhere near your end. You have a lot of time to improve, you just need to get started. It will be bumpy, it will be rough, but eventually you will get there. Not only is going to the gym good for you’re health and being more social, but you will gain confidence in yourself, not just for being stronger or having more muscles, but because you will realize that you are able to do what you put your mind to, but it requires effort and constant attempts to improve.
Now it’s possible you may have just read that paragraph and thought to yourself “No, this is not for me, I can’t”. Instead, start by saying you can. If you don’t want to start working out right away, that’s okay, but just start being positive about yourself, even in your own mind. I’ve had the same feeling before with myself, but it takes being able to think positively that will allow you to move forward. In all honesty, the hardest part for you is probably going to be changing the way you think of yourself because your brain is constantly playing mind games with itself. All our brains are. In fact, the human brain is just completely unsuited to deal with the negatives, that they start to feel like such a big part of our lives, even when they are not. You don’t realize how much you have and how much you can do. I don’t even need to see you for me to already know that. There will always be people in a worse situation than yourself that is able to improve. I suggest you start by truly believing in yourself and any time you see your brain wandering off into some sort of negative thought process, pull it away into something positive, whether it’s changing the way you’re thinking or thinking about something that’s positive.
And remember, do not let overthinking take over, or else you will fall back into that moment of sadness. Don’t just take this message as words, take it as a meaning. I speak from personal experience, and I understand that it is definitely a hard thing to adapt to, especially when you’re just starting, but I believe that if you can change your mindset of the way you view everything, you’re willingness to actually do something to change your life and turn things around will unconsciously become much easier. It worked with me and I believe it can for you too.
All of this to say, start by blocking out your own negative opinions of yourself, even when you’re alone thinking to yourself. It will be tough, but I believe in you, and so should you.
It’s never too late! Get off the games!