I am stressing out about the day I’ll have to have conversation with my daughter about how her mom died.
As she is still young I want to figure out when the best time to tell her would be. On one hand, tell her too soon and could prematurely expose her to something very tragic/dark. On the other hand, tell her too late after she hears about it from someone else, then she’d feel betrayed that I didn’t tell her sooner. I feel as though this is a lose/lose situation.
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I’d bring it up during puberty. A 5yo simply isnt equipped to deal with stuff this dark.
Whereas teens revel in it.
I would very humbly suggest that you talk to your daughter’s pediatrician about this and let them advise you.
Needless to say, this is an exquisitely sensitive subject, and I would highly recommend you get professional advice and insight.
Thank you.
There’s no perfect age, but there is a right approach honesty, in age-appropriate pieces, over time.
At 5, she’s too young for the full weight of it. But as she grows and starts asking deeper questions, that’s your cue to slowly give her more truth, gently and with love. Around 8–10, kids start to grasp death and emotions better that might be when you share more, framed in a way that makes sense to her.
What matters most is that she hears it from you, with care, not by accident from someone else. You won’t get it perfectly right no one does but if you’re honest, kind, and present, she’ll feel safe. And that’s what she’ll remember most.
18, I’d not open that Pandora’s box before.
But wow. People would talk to her about this?
I’d try to get advice from a professional about this, maybe there’s some sort of children’s mental health organisation you could find?