I feel like my asking for emotional intelligence and the willingness to work through issues to stop being toxic is too much.
At what point are someone’s standards for other people too high?
r/ask
I feel like my asking for emotional intelligence and the willingness to work through issues to stop being toxic is too much.
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If you’re rejecting potential suitors, but you’re constantly rejected by people you want, and you’re chronically single, then your standards are too high.
To echo what the other guy said
I usually tend to think the people who complain everyone else are the problem
It’s hard finding good people to date… But it’s not THAT hard.
If it’s taken YEARS AND YEARS than maybe the issue is you
It’s like someone who has no friends because THEY SAY everyone betrayed them.
Either you just have the worst luck ever or youre toxic
It’s more likely that you’re toxic.
Statistically, when they move two standard deviations away from the mean of their peers or, being more generous, people around them in general.
In general watch out for people who blame everyone else for the relationships falling apart
They beef with their relatives, their neighbors, their exes, the kids from day care.
The only person they can get along with is the house pet, so when they die they’ll have nobody left.
A whole grown adult talking about how all they want is love and understanding but they couldn’t be bothered to forgive someone who cut them in line once at lunch.
It depends on the person.
If someone has a list of 37 things that are “Must” standards, they will have a terrible time finding someone.
If someone has a tiered list, 2 “Must” 4 “Prefer” 10 “Nice to have”, it gets a lot easier.
It also will depend on what they are compared to the person asking. If someone is a fat, ugly lazy slob and they would only date fitness models, life is going to be very lonely.
I think people are super focused on finding “the perfect one” but no one thinks about how much growth happens in a relationship. you could find the absolute most perfect partner ever yet they can grow as a person and maybe 3 years down the road you guy’s morals and dreams no longer align at all! I think people forget that spending your life with someone means growing with them, learning to love flaws about them, learning to compromise, accepting that you are two different people CHOOSING eachother.
people don’t choose eachother enough and leave a gap open for incase someone else comes along. that anxiety of “maybe there is someone better” ruins most relationships, because instead of learning to love and accept all parts of your partner, you are constantly seeking perfection and holding space for criticism where it isn’t necessarily.
Yes finding a partner should be about finding someone who will fit your lifestyle, but it’s also about finding someone who will stick with you no matter how much that lifestyle happens to change. Life can change people in crazy ways and if you are constantly looking for consistent perfection then you will never find it.
When they can’t get a partner, not only reason but probably main one
When someone can’t live to the standards they set for other people.