So long story I think? Baby is now 5 months. Since baby was born I suspected a milk allergy (don’t ask why her symptoms just seemed more than the average baby sick) so after multiple talks with health visitor. She decided to start documenting, I was passed pillar to post from GP, hospital and health visitor to make sure all symptoms were documented. It was really obvious baby was in pain though! Almost constantly. Everytime I was passed to diffrent places I kept being blocked with she’s not bleeding so we can’t confirm allergy. Until one day boom blood in her nappy and from then on was every few days. Was given hypoallergenic milk (nutramigen) and was told not a lot of babies take to this milk so essentially what we recommend (health visitors, GPs) starve the baby until you know she’ll eat it. So MIL is staying the night we finally got this new milk, I say you can feed baby during the night but only give her 4 ounces because she needs to be hungry enough to eat the nutramigen tomorrow and I’ll sort that in the morning.
Obviously this point baby is bleeding, it’s obvious this is an allergy and I want minimum pain for baby but didn’t want to start the diet during the night so was ok with 4 ounces because yknow… trying to not feed a baby in the middle of the night would not work. Also didn’t want to risk giving her the new milk incase she wasn’t hungry enough and decided she didn’t like it and it became an issue to try feed her it as she was already quite a bit underweight. So MIL gives her 4 ounces… I wake up in the morning and find her sitting giving her a bottle at like 8 o’clock? She says oh babies dad made another bottle because she was hungry, 5 ounces. They did not follow my instructions I got from medical professionals! Why??! Oblivious!! My baby is in pain and I need her off this asap!! Why couldn’t they have used the new milk? Woke me up? Anything? Instead of deciding between them how this was gonna be handled
I spoke with my health visitor after this and she told me basically if I couldn’t get her off that milk because they hadn’t taken this seriously. I’d have had her up at the hospital within the week because of the bleeding it would have just gotten worse I just want other peoples thoughts? Am I over reacting? Babies dad is now ex partner. This has caused a lot of issues because of my reaction but to me it’s the principle no one listened and she needed off dairy as soon as possible. I’ll add in now I feel like I can’t trust them to make good choices. Their excuse was she wasn’t officially allergic yet even though l’d been saying it the whole time and I think the bleeding, crying, sick, mucus poop, everything was enough to confirm once the hospital were on board
How do I navigate my way through this?☹️ We have joint custody. Uk I can’t prevent these people taking baby and doing what they want with her
I posted this yesterday and post was removed because it’s more related to ex partner. So I feel the need to add ex MIL since day one was obsessed with feeding baby to the point it really bothered me. When I told her I wanted to breastfeed and had no need for bottles she asked how other people would feed baby and showed up with 2 boxes of bottles anyway. When breast feeding didn’t work she couldn’t have made it any clearer how thrilled she was (I found out baby had been starving for the first week of life) and she came up shouting things like did mummy starve you poor baby, while heroically sticking a bottle in her mouth. I’ve made posts about that situation before but deleted since. They have a very entangled relationship and I know ex partner made the bottle but I do believe she was the one encouraging it just so she could feed baby and probably convinced him it was ok to do it, no biggies just one bottle right? I’m not excusing him by the way. Just making it clear where she comes in. She also made comments while I was having all the symptoms documented, so if I said oh symptom such and such she’d reply oh my daughter/son did that it’s normal. One time it was referring to the bleeding, daughter bled into nappy as a baby and it’s normal… lady no. I feel like she minimised my concerns and was implying I was paranoid and doesn’t think the allergy is even real
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Clearly, you’re doing your best in a tough situation. Trust your gut and keep advocating for your baby’s health. It’s not about being right, it’s about doing what’s best for your little one.