Do not share anywhere.
Boy, oh boy, do I have an update for you. It’s been a minute. So, buckle up and get ready for this long doozy. Apologies in advance.
So, last update was how MIL went nuclear when we told her about the hospital.
Anyways, we (my husband) reached out to his parents to set up a time to meet the baby. Husband and I agreed that a neutral spot halfway between our area dn his parents would be best. He mentioned meeting up to his mom, sent her an indoor play place for the kids and talked about getting breakfast beforehand.
She comes back and says his dad would rather us come down there. Because, of course.
We knew the trip would be longer than usual because we have toddlers and an infant and would have to stop to let them get the wiggles out, go to the bathroom, and stretch. We also wanted to see my husband’s grandma and let her meet the great grandbabies. We take the drive, make the stops, and arrive at the in-laws around lunch time, which is what we told them without a specific time. (We didn’t tell my MIL about seeing granny.)
Immediately, my kids got super shy and refused to look at anyone. I took our stuff into the room we were going to sleep in. My older 2 followed and refused to leave the room. My oldest (3.5) stayed hiding behind a chair for 45 minutes. I sat with them whole also trying to convince them to leave the room. We kept the door open and talked with anyone who stood there. They tried bribing my kids to leave the room, my husband and I tried bribing. It took about an hour.
All that being said, it was an overall tolerable trip. No drama. No issues. We thought it went great.
Until the next morning. My husband woke up to an incredibly long and ridiculous group of text messages from his mom that was sent around 2am. And she LOST it.
She started off about how she knew we stopped halfway down and then went and saw granny and how when we finally arrived that we (I) made everyone (them, sil/bil, niece, nephew and their significant others) wait an hour to eat and how she and my FIL worked so hard for this big lunch and we just sat in the back room hiding the kids. But it didn’t stop there. Oh, no. It got worse. She went on saying that she understands that he is only with me out of obligation and that I’m jealous of their relationship (HA!). And just more awful things about me and granny (she never liked granny). She also said that I’m teaching my kids to hate her and that she will be telling my kids the truth about me. (Ma’am – if I could teach my kids anything, it would not be to despise you but to eat their food and stop hitting the baby. Get a life.)
Husband was PISSED. He thought we had a good visit and got a text saying his mom and dad felt otherwise. Knowing his mom was asleep, he called his dad and was like “what’s going on? do we have a problem?” And his dad had no idea what the husband was talking about. His dad was like, “I just cut the fruit. That’s it.” So my husband explained what his mom said and my FIL was not happy about it. He said he thought it was a good weekend as well, and that he did not agree with his wife and was pissed and going to talk to my MIL as well (no update if/when/how that conversation went).
After work, my husband called his mom to hash it out. She quickly went on the defensive and tried saying things that my husband quickly shot down and raised his voice at her. She then told him that the issue isnt with him (husband), or my sister in law and her family, or with her (mil), or my FIL. So my husband quickly went, “so who’s the problem with, then? Huh? Are you going to finally tell me the truth or are you going to lie to me again?” Instead of answering (because we both knew she meant me), she said she had to go and hung up on him.
He called his sister afterwards and apologized if it wasn’t a good weekend, and she said it was a great weekend and they talked about what just happened and it was a good conversation.
Anyways, husband isn’t talking to his mom right now, and like clockwork, after 2 or 3 weeks, she sends him some Facebook video about how a mom’s love for her son is unbreakable and blah, blah, blah. He never responded. Other than that, nothing from her.
We have my 2nd’s birthday coming up, and he will be calling his dad and sister to explain the whole situation and actually share with them what his mom has said, and that we are doing a whole weekend for the birthday celebration, and explain that they are welcome to come, but we do not want his mom there. I told him that if she shows, I’m taking the kids home, or to my parents and she will not see them. So, TBD how that goes.
But yeah, there’s a good update for you. It’s been almost a month since the visit and still wrapping my head around this whiplash that was expected, but also not. đ¤ˇđźââď¸
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Other posts from /u/taylorlynngeek:
Gave Visiting Boundaries for the Hospital, 5 months ago
Last Visit/Pregnancy Announcement – Small Update, 5 months ago
Christmas Came and Went , 8 months ago
Welp. She’s cut off., 10 months ago
At Peace., 1 year ago
False Breakthrough of Respect, 1 year ago
MIL Visit, 3 years ago
update-ish, 3 years ago
I’m About to Lose My Shit., 3 years ago
heartbroken response update 3, maybe final update?, 3 years ago
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When my sister and I were little, we were shy around our grandma on our dads side. We never felt comfortable in her house and sometimes would hide from her. Now as adults, I know about all the shit she did to my parents and Iâm happily no contact with my grandma. My dad is still low contact and sees her on occasion, but sheâs literally dead to me. She doesnât know anything about my life and she never will. I donât have any tolerance for a woman who would treat their son like my grandma treated my dad.
Even if she tries to tell your kids âthe truth about youâ, they will grow up and know what the reality is.
Why did you give in to them?
Pissed off because she thought she’d have territorial advantage and that blew up in her face so she didn’t get to show you how her parenting is better than yours and how everybody loves her.
Very telling that FIL knew nothing of her outburst.
What is wrong with these people? đ
Damn good call in having MIL sit out 2nd childâs birthday. Maybe sheâll learn some self awareness and respect for others. Doubtful, but ya never know.
Iâm so glad he has your back. She is awful
Sending hateful texts at 2 am? Plus, sheâs got some insane fake narrative going on in her head. I cannot imagine how these women think this sort of behavior is remotely ok.
But letâs look on the bright side, your DH is a rock star, you navigated a visit with three littles (yikes!), and JN showed her ass. Not a good look on a woman of any age. Enjoy your birthday celebration and live your best life!
I guess she really thought she could be everyoneâs mouthpiece without them finding out. Mil did a FAFO and I hope the rest of the family comes up, including fil, despite milâs persona non grata.
So is Mil drunk texting at 2 in the morning, or is this her normal wingnut behaviour?
Hon? Limit MIL to FaceTime. She gets to see and talk to the kids, but you can drop the call the minute she goes off-script. You and the kids don’t have to travel, the kids don’t get overwhelmed and frightened, Mumsie can only scream at a blank screen.
Welp! It looks like Meemaw has climbed up on her hill and she is willing to stay there all angry! Lets wait and see how long she is up there until she notices she is alone…grandkids are having their lives, family is having their lives, without her. I predict she will pull something out of her Manipulator’s Handbook like….Christmas Cancer! You will all rush to her side and she won’t have to apologize or change her behavior or anything!
Wow. Every accusation is a confession with her. Your husband stays in contact with HER out of obligation (I’m assuming, this doesn’t seem like a relationship he enjoys), and she’s WILDLY jealous of his relationship with you and his children. She’s jealous of his entire life that he’s built with you. I hope you don’t make that trip again for a looong time. And when she asks why, I hope your husband tells her that it’s because he’s tired of seeing her ass every time she decides to show it. She’s hurting her own feelings here. You haven’t done ANYTHING to her.
Wow she is mean, and crazy. Its a bad combo. And a lying liar who tells lies. How does she not realize that catches up to her? Ugh. Sounds like you have a solid plan in place to deal with her. Hang in there you got this.
What?! Youâre saying that you DIDNT travel for 4 hours with 3 infants just to hide them from everyone in a bedroom?! Because that would be the normal thing to do đ
Wow⌠MIL really turned a good weekend into pure chaos with that 2am novel.
Oh mate! Iâm so sorry that long distance journeys to unfamiliar places that most small children hate arenât totally OK for your toddlers. Lord.
Props to your DH for standing up and calling her out directly.
Blocking her from the birthday is 100% the right call.
It’s all about that Narcissistic Supply. She can’t handle having a drama-free visit. She has to stir up shit to make herself a victim and get attention out of it, even negative attention feeds her supply. The kids behaved like normal kids and didn’t feed into her glowing vision of how the visit should go so she has to throw a fit about it to get the attention she needs.
Honestly, the best way to deal with her is to pay no attention to her tantrums.
The âyouâre only with her out of obligationâ jab is next-level projection.
FIL saying âI just cut the fruitâ sent me đ.
Itâs wild how she tries to pit everyone against each other.
Oooh. I wish, more than a little, that DH would text FIL, instead of calling him. Then there would be no way to argue about what was said through selective memory, even if MIL happened to be there when FIL got the planned âyouâre invited but sheâs notâ call. Her face while reading the text would be priceless.
Having said that, I would love to be a fly on the wall when the bomb gets dropped, no matter how itâs delivered. evil cackle
Iâm sorry youâre going through this. First of all I canât believe you guys agreed to drive there with the little ones.
She tried to project that heâs with you out of obligation only? Disgusting.
Hope you guys can go and NC soon
The Facebook âmomâs loveâ video is such manipulative nonsense.
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I just want to say, I went back and read all of your posts in this sub. You are so so blessed with a husband that has a spine of STEEL! He is what so many posters wish they had. It was refreshing to read; heâs always got your back and is protective and vocal about defending you. Whatever youâre doing, keep it up! #goals đĽ°
Its so funny how they are all the same. cause I got the exact same accusations screamed in my face (I woulda rather a text lol) about my being jealous of them, I make them uncomfortable, my husb is only with me for the kids etc. my nasty evil monster in law is sneaky and got my husbands Godzilla sister to do it for her đ
Of course you know these are all projections. Her son only puts up with her in the hopes she’ll finally STFU, which she won’t. And everyone who feels obligated to put up with her will eventually get sick of it and leave. These people spend A LOT more of their time alone as the years go by. Year by year people dump these parasites and they end their life in stress and anguish
Daaaamn!!!! Bravo for your husband standing up for you!
So, everyone had a good weekend but her? Ha! So, she simply doesnât like you and for her to say sheâll âtell the kids the truth about youâ is foul. Sheâs so threatened by you being with her son, she plans to badmouth you to your kids?!
Sheâs nuts.
Oh my! I work hard to be the opposite kind of MIL & I must say Bravo to your husband. You all handled this well.
Itâs a shame you didnât maintain the cut off
Holy shit, the way she spun that has me dizzy!