I’m not asking what catches your eye. I’m asking what makes you stay, what makes you think “ok, this one’s different.”
As a woman, I’m used to getting attention. But attention and connection are two very different things.
I’m curious from your side: when does it shift from attraction to something that actually gets under your skin in a good way? Is it how someone makes you feel? How they listen? How they challenge you?
No judgment, just fascinated by what really makes a man emotionally lock in.
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An objective, compassionate, and intelligent mind
For starters it has to be something. A relationship, fling, whatever. It can’t just be that we are talking, going on dates, no intimacy, and I’ll fall for her. Nope.
What makes me stay? If after a few months she hasn’t started nagging, demanding, gaslighting, I’d stay. No “I want a better life so you need to earn more” crap. No “I’m the only one doing housework(because only the tasks she does count)”, no “I’ll go out with my friends but freak out if you go out with yours”.
I want someone who’s mentally stable and makes life easier, not harder. When I find that person I stay.
She had her own life going on, a significant friend group, was focused on her career and progressing in it, and we had really good conversations.
I guess before her I was with girls who were more passive and generally meh, not really motivated, kinda clung to me instead of having their own social circles.
Smell, genetics, behaviour. Be a match and be an intelligent kind person. Easy, right – at least that’s how I met my wife.
Kindness.
That first time we hugged, it just felt right.
Integrity and an independent mind. Wasn’t bothered by social media trends, didn’t post thirst trap pictures for attention, had a moral code that she was able to communicate and she followed it.