I’m tired, disgusted, emotional, giving up. It’s been the same loop for so long. Nothing makes him change.
My hurting doesn’t phase him
My crying doesn’t phase him
Only me leaving phases him but I get reeled back in
I’m tired
I woke up this morning to a spam of calls because I slept in for 15 mins and my messages didn’t come through.
Him accusing me of turning off my location- called me a whore
Been with my fiancé for 5 years and he constantly accuses me of cheating- constantly checks my phone- constantly asks for videos when I’m not with him
r/Advice
Comments
That’s not love…it’s control. If your pain doesn’t matter to him, but leaving does, it’s time to choose yourself and walk away.
This is not love it’s emotional imprisonment disguised as concern. If the only thing that makes him listen is you leaving then leave for good and let that be your final loudest answer.
he might be proyecting himself in you
How do you get “reeled back in” to someone who not only can’t trust you, but doesn’t even like you? This isn’t “just” insecurity where he needs constant reassurance. He doesn’t want the reassurance! He’s so convinced he’s right that he called you, the love of his life, his future wife, a horrendous slur. Why are you with this person?
Stop enabling this madness. Tell him to see a therapist. Either leave or let him stew in his madness without any reassurance and leave you. Those are your options. It might feel hard to walk away and stay away, but how is staying with him better or easier?!
Emotional abuse rarely (if ever) gets better, and very often morphs into other, more dangerous, forms of abuse. Once the marriage ring goes on it will be infinitely harder to leave the situation.
Speak privately with a family member or close friend in confidence. Develop an exit plan, leave, and never respond to him again.
Wishing you the best
Have you ever done anything unfaithful to make him paranoid like this? If not, random, unjustified paranoia is usually a sign he’s cheating. Now he knows he is capable, he’s worried you’re capable too.
I’m very sorry about this.
This is him being controlling, and it will almost certainly lead to abuse at some point.
And I’m not saying this to be unkind, you clearly have self-esteem issues. Somebody who is confident in themselves would never tolerate this kind of crap from a partner.
Please talk to a therapist and get to the bottom of why you accept someone behaving this way. Because you clearly deserve better than this.
He sounds very weak and insecure…
The only reason he wants to do that is because he’s doing it himself. This is the biggest sign your partner is cheating on you. I’m assuming you haven’t given him a reason to think this, and him wanting to check even without reason means that he is cheating and not giving you a reason, so he knows that like him, you too can be normal and still cheat.
this is horribly abusive behavior of him. why are you putting up with it???? get out! what kind of partner dosent care when the person they are supposed to care about is crying or hurt? who calls the person they care about a whore?
There is also a significant chance he is cheating on you.
I would put money on him cheating on you. No joke. This is how these people work.
Five years of psychological abuse is enough. Please leave him. You can do and deserve so much better.
Move on.
You definitely don’t want to keep living like this.
It will get worse if you get married.
The more isolated. The more financially dependent.
Worse.
This won’t change. People who act like this can’t be talked into changing their behavior. Save yourself before it escalates any further.
You can do better. A lot better.
Please get out now.
Do not marry this man, block him on everything and delete his number. Forgot all about him and move on with your life.