Being a big girl at a young age is the worst thing you could get from the genetic lottery

r/

16yo, 6’9, 380lbs. No I have no gigantism. I hate it a lot. Especially since I have very few friends, and made me insecure throughout my life. Taking a lot of space in public transports, making all the males insecure, being avoided by a lot of people, and getting stares from everywhere, everytime. That made me stay in my house the most of the time. I am very awkward socially, and I might be the shiest girl out there.

Edit: thanks for all the comments. I may add that I feel better. Ofc it’s not tomorrow that my life will change in a 180° way, but I appreciate all the comments. Really do. I love reddit. And if I may add, I took a pretty dramatic title. Being big isn’t the best thing, but it’s far from being the worst. I got lucky to be born in a safe country, with every organ, with both parents, with good brothers, with no chronical disease, and with access to education. A lot of these are what a lot of people around the world wish for it. Kids in a lot of countries are dying because of wars, some are working with no education, while others are born parentless, some lack of arms, legs, have chronical diseases. Yes, even tho I am not the first fan of my body, I still am glad and thankful for having more opportunities than a lot.

Comments

  1. CheeseOnMyFingies Avatar

    I’m surprised your immediate reaction was “this sucks” and not “I could easily crush a lot of women’s sports with proper training”

    Guarantee you many of the people staring are doing so in awe and not in condemnation, although I know it’s a weird feeling

  2. avid-learner-bot Avatar

    Listen up: 70% of women hate their bodies at some point, that’s crazy! I get your self-loathing vibe and while I haven’t been there, I’ve had my body scrutinized plenty. Keep sharing your truth, know you’re not alone in this struggle. No need to be so hard on yourself, you’re more than a number

  3. Traditional_Ad8763 Avatar

    Get your weight down to 230 lbs firstly for your health, and second, your quality of life will change for the better. You won the lottery.

  4. MeNamIzGraephen Avatar

    Dude your physique could be amazing if you train at the gym. Especially lifting heavy weights! Don’t worry about initial weight gain (muscles weight more than fat) or ending-up looking like Hafthór Bjornson.
    That sort of thing takes extreme dedication, shovelloads of protein-rich food and basically full-time at the gym or eating.

    If you just do a lot of strenght exercise with weights and eat about the same as you do (I don’t have any idea about what you eat, so I’m assuming), you’ll be lean and tall and with a pretty unique physique a lot of people would kill for.

    Accept your looks as a gift and get out there. Just try it! You’ll see the first results within a few months.

  5. KoleSekor Avatar

    Love and accept yourself because there’s plenty of people in the world who will love and accept you, but you have to love and accept yourself first.

  6. Eskenderiyya Avatar

    You should check out r/tallgirls

  7. matt4anom Avatar

    Worse from the genetic lottery? Try to be a short guy lol

  8. elizabethteeterfan Avatar

    hi op, i’m AFAB, i hit 6 feet tall in just the sixth grade. while i’m a bit under your height (i’m now 6’2”), the best possible advice i can give you is to just own it. trying to make yourself smaller and more unnoticeable never helps, it just makes you feel like utter shit. it sometimes takes awhile, and lots of practice, and you constantly have to course-correct your brain into not spiraling toward negativity — accepting yourself is an acquired skill, and you will be able to master it one day no problem!!

    to that end — you may feel as if you stand out terribly right now, at sixteen years old, because i KNOW i did too when i was that age — but no one is truly paying attention to other people in public. yes, you may get weird glances or looks, but if anyone is STARING, or harassing you, or otherwise making you uncomfortable for something outside your control, that’s THEIR problem and a reflection of who they are as a person. most decent folk will be polite.

    as for boys… well! let’s just say there’s something out there for everyone. legs for days are never a bad thing, i’ve heard!!!

  9. Nacho0ooo0o Avatar

    People stare at anything out of the ordinary. Size can make people feel intimidated and not know how to interact with you, but you can certainly go forth knowing this and choose to exude a warmness that will encourage people to see you as friendly and become actual friends with you so you don’t feel so alone. I’m also a tall woman, with tall daughters, obviously not to the 6’9″ degree, but we stand out, and my older daughter has found that where she excels is by seeking out other kids her age that look like they’re alone too. She introduces herself and invites them to join her and her friends and has made so many friends this way. Will everyone go along with it? no, of course not, but the hardest part is just making the first step, and enough will be glad you invited them to join.

  10. Undiluted36 Avatar

    My friends girlfriend is heavy she’s 24… he’s very good looking and athletic quite a bit of years older …. They’ve been together for 4 years… Don’t worry

  11. hungrysolivagant Avatar

    You can’t really change your genetics, so the only thing you can do is own it.

  12. hellofishing Avatar

    there are plenty worse things

  13. Kind_Preference9135 Avatar

    The irony of genetic is crazy. We are never born the way we want or even “should”. I as a 5’8 man at 165lbs would like to switch with you honestly.

  14. No-Anywhere3790 Avatar

    Dude, you WON the genetic lottery. I’d kill to be that tall. No one would fuck with you. Being intimidating is good, especially as a woman. You don’t have to be this small dainty thing in order to be feminine or a “proper woman” as some people would say. If I were you I’d hit the gym and try to be the real life Wonder Woman.

  15. 10000kg Avatar

    Dudes who want bigger offspring will think of you as the jackpot.

  16. TieBeautiful2161 Avatar

    Honestly – I truly feel for you. It is incredibly hard for someone who is naturally shyer and less confident as is, to stand out in a majorly physically noticeable way and look different from the norm. Those who haven’t experienced it or who have different personalities won’t get it. I was fortunate enough not to experience the physical part, but as a woman with low confidence who hates standing out, I’ve been so grateful sometimes for my ordinary, completely unremarkable appearance that allows me to easily blend into the background.

    That said – if you do have those traits and there’s obviously nothing you can do to change it, the only way to deal with it is to learn to be more comfortable in your own skin and display that comfort to others. Because being UNcomfortable and insecure is something people will pick up on like vultures and swoop down to pick on you. You need to carry yourself in such a way that no one would even dare look or comment on your appearance negatively. If you carry yourself like a queen and act confident, that’s what people will see – even if you have to fake it till you make it. It’s easier said than done so first place I would start with is THERAPY – I think it’s really necessary in cases like this to try and learn to accept and become more at peace with your body.

    Second, I would avoid trying to cover up and hide yourself even if it’s uncomfortable. Try to do the opposite – lean into your looks, highlight what you can. With your proportions you can really carry off BIG statement styles. Big dramatic hair, get it well styled and colored in a rich flattering color. Edgy, bright clothing styles. Big statement jewelry. Look at tall, plus sized influencers and models for inspiration. Learn how to put things together in a chic way that’s not overdone but don’t shy away from bold choices. You’re gonna stand out either way, so better if people notice you for your awesome style and presentation first rather than just your size. We have a lady in my gym who is bigger. Not quite as tall as you but definitely around six feet and probably pushing 300ish lbs if I were to guess. She is clearly strong and fit as heck though, and lifts crazy heavy. she has this looong, big awesome, BRIGHT RED colored hair, and doesn’t shy away from always dressing in sexy gym outfits, sports bra, short shorts, despite not having anywhere near the ‘perfect’ body or flat stomach etc. And she looks to be in her forties. She is absolutely STUNNING – I can’t tear my eyes away from her when she’s there lol and I’m straight 🤣 she commands all the attention just walking though the gym and clearly has a great personality too and always has men flocking and chatting around her, I think she’s married though. Point is – many women at her size would be slouched and covered up in baggy sweats and mousy hair hiding themselves, I probably would be. But she OWNS every part of herself and it’s certainly paying off.

    And trust me there are plenty of guys out there who are really into women larger than them, it’s a huge thing, I’m sure there are NSFW subs here for it in fact lol. You’ll find your person, you just need to be out there to do it and not hiding away. Find interests and hobbies that you can relate to people over that have nothing to do with your size – if you’re into chess great, other board/ tabletop games, maybe hiking etc.

  17. petewondrstone Avatar

    If this is real. U are someone’s type. Guaranteed

  18. CatMoonTrade Avatar

    Honey, I hope you consider asking a parent for access to therapy. Stay in it for years. You will learn so much, gain confidence and love yourself more. 💖 I wish you all the best

  19. Sad-girlx Avatar

    The most important advice here is to accept it, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change your height, you will live your whole life that height. you don’t have to “love” or “embrace” it but at least at accept it, you’re so young and you don’t want a life wasted with regret and self consciousness

  20. Dreboomboom Avatar

    Hey OP, own your height! People are looking at you because it’s rare for a person, let alone a teen girl, to be that tall. Don’t beat yourself up.

    Guys will avoid you because we’re all told that tall girls don’t date shorter guys. That will change when you enter college.

    Lastly, try out for sports. I met a D1 athlete who was 6’1 and was a rower.

  21. SozinsComet1 Avatar

    Please start hooping 🙏🏾

  22. WilliamHarry Avatar

    You weren’t born that way. Your parents just failed you and then you didn’t address it yourself.

  23. Redditress428 Avatar

    Please don’t define yourself by your appearance. I recommend that you think more about what you like/love about yourself and then constantly tell yourself how absolutely wonderful you are.

  24. centhwevir1979 Avatar

    You’re like a living god! An actual giant. Don’t worry whether the males are insecure – that isn’t your fault. Good luck!

  25. Fine_Payment1127 Avatar

    It’s bad. Short male is still worse

  26. eveningcaffeine Avatar
  27. Routine_Size69 Avatar

    380 pounds isn’t genetics. You need to eat less. Being 6’9″ is unfortunate though.

  28. N0Z4A2 Avatar

    Are you unaware that people without legs or arms exist?

  29. emailman123 Avatar

    That does seem difficult. However try to look at it glass half full you certainly didn’t lose the genetic lottery, though you may not have gotten what you wanted. You’re not paralyzed or extremely mentally disabled, and you seem to be articulate and intelligent. So yeah stuff sucks but remember it could always be worse.

  30. Alarming-Zone3231 Avatar

    Tall girls are beautiful

  31. AppointmentMedical50 Avatar

    I would get training in sports. You will have a huge advantage

  32. Jadey4455 Avatar

    Yeah that is really bizarre and i don’t blame people for staring. Hopefully it doesn’t bug you though

  33. wamjamblehoff Avatar

    Your genes are actually very unique and sought after by a lot of people. Especially for people who want athletic children. Have you tried leaning into your strengths physically and pursued sports?

  34. WingsFan4Life Avatar

    You should play basketball! Height and size are the biggest helpers in that sport

  35. The-0mega-Man Avatar

    Eat one meal a day. Period.

  36. evillurks Avatar

    I’m not going to sit here and say it’s actually a good thing. Yes, there are downsides and those are painful and I’m sorry you are going through that. One day the upsides will be very visible and apparent to you, I promise. It feels like you are doomed I’m sure, but girl one day there will be parts about being big that will make you so happy. Hang in there, and I’m sorry it sucks so bad

  37. ferevon Avatar

    hit the gym dude. You’re probably stronger than most people around you anyway, I bet it will boost your confidence to actually realize it. I think you’ll come to realize it’s not that bad, like your height gives you unique opportunities noone else might have access to and weight is something you can fix. People can be mean and I’m sure a lot of men are intimidated by you, let them be, there will be plenty who won’t mind you being you i promise.

  38. SamPNW Avatar

    You hate not having gigantism?

  39. Ok-Yogurtcloset-76 Avatar

    Form a group call it big love talk to people older than u and yeah practice a sport for life so ur body develops if u don’t ull have problems walking etc

  40. Kaleb_Bunt Avatar

    If you got into certain sports you’d actually have greater potential than the average person. Look into basketball, though you might need to lose some weight for that.

    You could also be really good at powerlifting.

  41. Moshkown Avatar

    Move to the Netherlands. I’m a 6’2 and I’m by no means a tall guy here, most of my guy friends are taller than me lol! Dutchies really don’t care about length

  42. hyperfat Avatar

    Don’t give a care.

    Try lifting and swimming for your body to get happy.

    Don’t worry about the numbers. It’s, do you feel good at your weight.

    Just be healthy.

    I’m the opposite. I can’t gain weight and I try. So I go to the YMCA. They don’t judge. Plus they have free training.

    And if anyone asks if you play basketball or volleyball, you can snark off and say you play lilliputian golf with hamsters. We use Skittles for balls.

  43. Remarkable_Ship_4673 Avatar

    380 isn’t genetics, it’s dirt

  44. Rayxur7991 Avatar

    Get yourself in the gym and you’ll be an unstoppable Olympian.

  45. w00derz Avatar

    6’9 is a hell of a genetic specimen in a very good way! Your weight will fluctuate as you get older, as an example when I was 16 I was barely breaking 155lbs no matter how much I ate or exercised. It wasn’t until I was in my mid 20s that my weight actually started to change and be controlled more easily and I’ve weighed in the past ten years anything from 175 to 215! Now I’m currently at about 195 and I’m 6’1.

    Point is I know it must be hard especially with everything else that goes on when you’re in your teen years but things will change. Just keep yourself healthy in the mean time and in anything as short as 3 years your body will have completely changed. It’ll be ok 😊

  46. OrNothingAtAll Avatar

    Get an elliptical trainer. I used to have this problem and I realized that cardiovascular exercise and drinking water and spacing out my meals to be smaller portions but more frequency in the day.

    I’m eating almost the same amount of food but able to burn off the calories without having to more calories than I can burn off in that amount of time. But the cardio and taking walks and
    Drinking more water: the weight gets better.

    But also realizing that I have just as much right to take up space in this universe just as much as anyone else.

  47. Equivalent-Roll-4330 Avatar

    6”9 is so cool!!! You deserve to take up space. I’m not nearly as tall as you but fellow tall girl here. I struggled with that a lot growing up. You will realize that you are allowed to take up as much space as your body needs. Promise

  48. kyx2456 Avatar

    You can literally get paid to play volleyball, if you become good you can easily make 6 figures in college and professional overseas. I know girls who were offered 6 figures to play 1 year in college. You’d need to lose weight for sure, you have to be fast and athletic but most of that is trained.

  49. 0bamaBinSmokin Avatar

    Being fat isn’t genetics, you need to eat less. 

  50. Asa-Ryder Avatar

    Cut the sugars and starches and start lifting!

  51. theboned1 Avatar

    Sucks you were born into this time period. Back in the Day you would have been a huge asset on the Battlefield. Your very presence would have struck fear into the hearts of the enemy.

  52. Quirky-Self-3722 Avatar

    Sports are practically the best thing you can do to build your confidence. You have a gift 99.9% of others don’t. Why shouldn’t you turn it into your strength and capitalize on it ? Maybe just give it a shot- i guarantee you all the cool girls will want to be your friend if you make the team. It’s also the healthiest life style choice you can make right now.

  53. TylerA998 Avatar

    No way you guys are falling for this today of all days 😭

  54. Daniel_The_Thinker Avatar

    That sucks, but its far from the worst, even within the topic of height.

  55. Ok-Instruction-3653 Avatar

    We’re all different, anyone that has a problem with that can fuck off.