When you’re raised to always behave, never make mistakes, and be the responsible one, you miss out on learning how to just be. You grow up afraid of messing up, feeling guilty for resting, and unsure how to have fun without guilt. You skip the rebellious phases, the chaos, the harmless mistakes and nd instead learn to suppress your needs and perform for approval.
By adulthood, you’re exhausted, anxious, and disconnected and wondering why it’s so hard to enjoy life or make space for joy
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i think this is proven, if not it’s a common consensus between neurodivergent people
See…..I find your reasoning to be spot on. I always have agreed, vehementally, with this perspective.
Kids who are expected to be quiet, and to be good (and so on) and are then always cornered into never, not ever, rebelling or being ‘bad’…..It’s passively aggressively robbing them of so many vital skills.
Doing such an awful disservice to children should be quite literally against the law.
Edit:grammar
Idk I was a horrible kid, still anxious and depressed
That would be true for me.
Well yah, cuz you’re all repressed. I probably would’ve been a bit wild as a kid if I weren’t so afraid of the consequences. I think I needed to go through that rebellious stage, in fact. It’s a right of passage.
Gotta find a way to get in touch with all that and help yourself complete the journey, now. Some therapists offer reparenting sessions.
My parents were never bad to me. I just have always been quiet and passive by my own volition. And I continue to be that way into my adulthood, but now I’m treated like garbage because I shouldn’t be this way
Good thing I was only good for half my childhood.
I would fall into this category but I don’t regret it like society wants me to think I do? Look at how expensive it is to just live now. Imagine finding self sustaining employment after a DUI, or some type of incarceration.
no, being a good child turns out into a brave, confident, happy, adult.
Holy shit, that’s me. Makes sense tbh. I never thought about it that way. My fear of making mistakes is so bad and when it happens I feel like such a failure or dumb person. :/
I still at the age of 30 have a very guilty conscious when I have any down time. Often times, I’m not able to fully relax because the guilt will take over. I was scorned for when I would relax as a kid, unless my Narc mom got something out of it, like new video footage she could take of her child having “fun”. I still to this day have to either have the laundry going while I’m watching TV, or I’ll clean and watch something to trick my brain into thinking I’m not lazy. Yeah, it’s damaging to say the least and the more I’m around others the more I realize it’s not normal and that people around me are able to fully relax without the guilt tripping. I’m really sorry you dealt with this. It does have its effects in the future. Best of luck and sending love.
Agree. Being considerate doesn’t get you anywhere in life as an adult.
Being a loud egoistic piece of shit is actually the best way to live. There are even enough dumb people who will call that confident
You actually gave me a low blow there, i grew up in a let’s say not quite a mature family, my parents didn’t have the basics to raise children (emotionally speaking), since i have a little brother i always had to be like a model to him, never make a mistake, don’t go and have fun (if i did my parents often scolded me because i wasn’t with him, says i prefer the company of strangers instead of my own family), now don’t miseundersteand me i love my brother but everytime i was going out either for fun or having a bit time on my own to relax i always felt guilty. The situation, with time got a little bit better they basically leave me (and my brother alone), i made sure of it and made sure they didn’t treat him the same way they did to me, i still think i missed a lot from when i was a kid, still i don’t regret anything, it kinda piss me off that they brush off with “i did for your good” or “you came out well”, i won’t blame them i still love them and all that’s happened is in the past now, still i won’t forget that’s for sure, if by anychance in the future i will be a father, i won’t repeat the same mistakes they did.