I’m facing the reality that I will probably have to work until I’m dead.
I’m a physician, work through a telehealth clinic. You would imagine that being a doctor would make you a lot of money. It was supposed to except that I’m now divorced, paying college expenses for 2 kids, being the sole provider for the family, my partner seems to rack up thousands of dollars in vehicle expenses.
We have no money and live paycheck to paycheck right now.
Can you guys please list for me some benefits of working until you drop dead for me to make me feel better?
Update:
Hi guys, I appreciate the comments about how to manage finances and all, and am trying to do everything that you guys have suggested, but please give me more comments about the benefits of working as an older person. Thank you!
Comments
You stay active! You find meaning in your work! All the experiences will go into the ground when you die, at least use your body to generate good for your offspring that will outlive you. Bees don’t get retired. Actually there’s no concept if retirement for animals at all, you either hunt or die
Take control of your expenses.
No more car expense BS. Work to get your decree amended, if you can.
Your kids can get a job at school.
How old are you? Even if you’re at 0 networth now, with your high salary, can you start saving now and building that nest egg?
You say kids are in college – and those expenses should come off the books at some point and then you can start saving no?
You say your partner (current or ex?) racks up lots of vehicle expenses – is that something you can address?
This post sounds like burnout or vent. I think we’re missing a lot of information.
Not to kick you when you’re down but you made choices to have so many obligations.
I live a small, simple and flexible life. I was lucky and landed a semi-retirement job early. I also have side hustle skills to fall back on. God willing, the creek don’t rise and my health holds up.
Downside is status, it’s obvious I didn’t live up to my potential which can be embarrassing but worth it in the end.
Don’t love I’ll be working longer but it is what it is, I should have made better choices.
I don’t support men. I decided not to have kids when my back was against the wall and I knew I wouldn’t be comfortable trying to do all the things you’re supposed to with kids (my siblings and I were raised like wolves)
I’d suggest a cost benefit analysis of your partner versus working until you drop dead.
Think of it this way: so long as your mind stays in decent shape, you CAN work for the rest of your life, with a degree/skill that is unlikely to stop being in demand…
Why would you chose to work until you’re dead rather than tamping down on your expenses? Your partner should be working. Your kids should be working part time as school allows. Sit down and work out a budget. Stop spending a penny you don’t need to.
I firmly believe that retirement isn’t for everyone. I know that in the absence of responsibility, I would eat more, drink more, use more cannabis, watch more TV, and mess around on the internet more. These aren’t good things for me to be doing. It helps that I enjoy my career and that it’s only marginally physical.
I kind of don’t believe you, do u have a lot of student loans from medical school? Where r u based at
Only benefit I see is ya don’t have to work after you drop dead !
It’s not that you don’t make enough, it’s that your partner $pends too much.
Are all of your kids in college? It seems to me the partner should consider getting a job to help pay for those cars you can’t afford.
Time to trade in the vehicle and partner for a more practical one.
There is nothing wrong with working till you die. This has been my conclusion after seeing my dad with dementia.
Not entirely snarky but if you’re working until you die then you aren’t going to need to worry about having enough to live on in retirement. At least if you’re living ok on your work income.
It depends on where you intend to drop dead. If you hear the pilot call out "Is there a doctor on the plane?" you’ll arrive in heaven with a wry smile on your face having revelled in the irony.
If you drop dead on a cruise ship there’ll be an unscheduled giveaway of ice cream to make room for you in the freezer.
Also, if you work until you drop dead you will skip the months of angst having left your healing knowledge and the respect it garners behind.
p.s. I suspect your ex is having an affair with the automotive service manager.
Do you have a budget? That’s your first step in changing your life.
Why is your spouse spending so much on vehicles? Why aren’t they contributing to the household income?
You and your spouse both need to have a budget and stick to it.
To answer your question, there are zero benefits to working until you drop dead unless you love your job and can’t bear to leave it.
Get rid of the car with the expensive repair and maintenance bills. Time to buy a Toyota or maybe a Lexus. Stay away from BMW, Mercedes and Porsche.
every physician I know (lots and lots of them because I was going to be one and shadowed a crap ton of them)
kids worked to learn value of dollar
kids helped out at home
wifey/hubby worked at least part time and spent their money on their stuff
My husband attended a talk about transitioning to retirement which emphasized that the human body processes all change as stress, and this is why many men die within a year of retirement. The speaker conveyed the need to get your physical health in hand before retiring ( improving diet, exercise, loss of weight if needed); he also recommended planning how you would fill as many hours in a day as you currently work. He also suggested part-time work, or consulting to help with the transition to being eventually unemployed ( no matter your savings).
You continue to live the lifestyle you are accustomed to
You stay socially engaged!
You stay sharper mentally.
Your purpose is already established.
Does it have to be all or nothing? Could you cut your expenses and go part time. You know from being in your profession, working isn’t always an option because of health issues? You must save and invest as much as you can and hope that you could work until you die.
one word…….kids.
1) Move to the cheapest house in which you can comfortably live.
2) Stay unmarried.
3) Eat at home.
The kids will soon be out of college and you will be fine. Dump the partner.
Your life will be richer with community and connection. You won’t fall into the loneliness epidemic.
There are zero benefits of working until you drop dead. Zero. Nada. Zilch. Nil.
I retired two years ago. I made a best friend while working at my last company, and he stayed on when I retired, always waiting "one more year."
He gave his 90-day notice to retire this year. We made plans to hang out together, take trips with our wives together, fish, etc.
He passed away a few weeks ago. I am flying out to his service next week. I am devastated.
He always told me he is where is is because of the choices he made in life. He felt he had to work because he did not want to run out of money, but he finally realized he was working himself to death. Well, he literally did.
This story will not make you feel better; neither can us rando redditors. Find a way to cut your expenses and simplify your life and accept and come to grips with the fact that you are where you at this point in your life because of the choices that were made. It is the only way.
I retired at 53. You don’t know how to handle money. Get better at it. My highest annual salary was something like $106K the year before I retired.
Dude you are terrible with money. You can absolutely retire, even early if you want, but you got to take control of your own finances and stop blaming others.
You have choices. Allowing another to spend recklessly is a choice. Of course, if you married again and face another set of support payments for ex and kids, you may need to seek help with your decision making.
Being a doctor should allow you to retire. Maybe consider a plan that has you working extra for a few years so you can reset where you are financially.
Where did the OP go?
You get to eat.
I’ll keep a roof over my head, keep myself fed, do some things I enjoy, and spend as much time as possible with my sons (without leaching off them).
Try working from home in a high paying capacity. I still work but it’s on appt by appt basis, such that it’s quite close to retirement at age 52
My mom has continued to practice law in her 80’s (by choice) and is still sharp as a tack. My dad retired 30 years ago from aeronautical engineering and has grown slow like a child, despite being an avid reader.
I’m sure there are plenty of ways to keep your mind sharp, but continuing to work seems like a good one.
Watch some Dave Ramsey, make out a plan to follow and a budget to control the spending. for years I let my money live on it’s own terms in my life which was so embarrassing and painful until I read a Ramsey book 20 years ago. I then tracked every dollar I spent for the last 90 days and created a budget of necessary expenses vs nice things to spend on. I gave every dollar I earned a job to do and stuck to it. It was actually simple as seeing it on paper made it so much more real than just following bank balances.
Could your children get some loans or work through college? Can your partner get employment and pay their own car maintenance and more as you turn the finances around at least? You’re going to have to make some changes and it may be uncomfortable until you can get out of this hole. Cut spending and/or increase income. I’ve found finance is 20% numbers and 80% emotional beliefs. I changed the beliefs I had and the rest fell into place.
By the way, I’m a Pediatric Hospice RN. The pay is low but the joy is high.
If (!!) you have the health and energy … working gives you:
* a purpose (in your case, a pretty noble purpose)
* an external focus, so you don’t obsess about yourself (which will mess you up good, I swear even mess up your physical health because you’ll start over-managing yourself and eating weird supplements and all that)
* an active brain (as you’re solving diagnostic puzzles every day, right? and staying educated in your field has to be like walking uncovered into a blizzard …)
* a life with new stories to tell every week, so you stay interesting to those kids (and eventually grandkids)
* an appreciation for how far down money is on the list of keys to happiness
etc …
Yeah, getting past living paycheck-to-paycheck is good, and you will eventually do that; and the reduction in chronic stress will certainly be good! But there is little marginal value in wealth not much greater than just making ends meet. So work, and work on being happy as you do, until you can’t. Then take up a hobby and work at that!
My (superb) doc closed up his concierge-style solo practice because the med profession was getting sucky, but after a few months he started leading weekly "walk with the Doc" hikes through a nearby forest, talking about health issues and such while his crew of ex-patients ambles along like puppy dogs. He shows the "Doc" job is a payoff in and of itself – so, focus on mining the value you saw in it when you started putting in all that work … and be grateful you have a purposeful job you can do for a long time!
(Edit:punctuation, typos)
Some of these expenses will pass…but if your freeloading partner is a spendthrift you have to address that. Sounds like he/she is enjoying YOUR $$ a bit too much.
I would gently suggest a financial professional evaluate your situation. There is no point to looking forward to retirement if it is just a different kind of stress. Children graduate college in four years. Once they graduate, they should be employed and either living independently or at least not a financial drain, within a year. A "partner" is someone who carries the load with you. If you are carrying that person financially then perhaps there are additional professionals who you should turn to for advice and guidance. Perhaps you should seek counseling. There is nothing wrong with seeking the guidance of a trained professional. There is something amiss here.
I can think of no benefits of working until you drop dead unless you are so lacking in imagination and other interests that you’ll find retirement boring.
Why are you paying someone else’s vehicle expenses? Or any? In my marriage, we each contributed to shared expenses and the rest was ours. This made finances easy. We loved the arrangement. And no, we didn’t divorce. He died.
I retired 3 years ago and love it! I have a huge backlog of interests and hobbies that I can indulge every day!
During my career I met many people who had big dreams for retirement but kept de-prioritizing it. Their final paycheck went to the next of kin. If you’re okay with that being you, go for it. But if you’re not, you’ll need to make some tough decisions about your spending and saving habits. Unless you win the lottery or are in the will of a rich uncle, I’m not aware of any other options, but there are millions who’d like to hear about other ways if you can find them.
I think rather than working until you drop dead, you need to prioritize your expenses, and have a frank talk with your partner and your kids about money.
Daily meditation dampens the "buzz" of life and puts things in perspective. I’ve been doing this: Natural Stress Relief/USA for 47 years. 83m.
Hey Op sorry to hear about the change in your life, also sounds like you’re giving up. It’s never too late to turn your life/finances around. It’s time to sit down have a serious discussion with your partner, and children. Maybe cap out at a certain dollar amount for college for each kid, and simplify in other areas of your life, car, home as much as you can, do it!
Ynab
you drop dead one day
That’s my plan… I own 1/3 the business and unless I sell out, it will ultimately be all me
I couldn’t do retirement. Went straight back to work but this time it was part time security at a dialysis center. Love it! Maybe when I hit 70 something I’ll be able to sit at home and rot
I’m digging deep, but as a person who will actually have to work till I’m dead, I’m having problems being sympathetic.
Live below your means. Buy used cars, downsize the home. Trim down vacations. It’s never too late to save.
Fake death and assume another identity, preferably in another country.
As someone who is actively dying of cancer… I go to work because it’s a distraction. When you’re staring at death, when religion comes easy because you have no other choice, the distraction is nice. Feeling normal is nice. I’m in a lot of pain and I have hospice on call, but I keep going in to work. When I was healthy, a strong work ethic was a central part of my personality. I don’t regret days off and I wish I had taken more of them, but when everyone I love who can still stand to look at me or talk to me just cries about my coming death, the distraction is really, really nice.
Since you are going to always work, well, here are the positives:
1) you will be the dependable one
2) you will not be missed at work (cause you ain’t leaving)
3) you get to gripe about making enough money to send 2 kids to college and having to pay for your partners expenses (I worked full time and went to college full time…it isn’t as bad as many make it out to be, yea, you miss out on stuff like sleep, eating, rest, relationships, but that’s all overhyped, who needs it since we all gonna die in the end anyway)
I have no positive thoughts about your post. Essentially, anything that I say will be negative and not helpful in the slightest. Therefore, I respectfully decline your offer to make you feel better. Good luck.
I don’t think this applies to you from your post, but my favorite thing in my life right now is my job. I can’t wait for Monday morning. Why would I stop? That’s the benefit.
The kids can get financial aid, grants, loans, or work to fund college. We don’t get that kind of financial aid when we retire.
I’m 67 and still working full time. Our health insurance is through my employer, not Medicare. My employer contributes to my retirement. I contribute to my HSA. I can still contribute to my Roth. All of that goes away when I stop working.
My job keeps my mind working, gives me purpose, people to talk with, a network of peers in professional organizations. And I get 5 weeks paid vacation, a week or so paid at Christmas, as well as the usual holidays and 12 days PTO.
I also enjoy what I do and who I work with. I’m treated with respect and have work that matters.
Purpose.
Oddly for me, it’s when we retire we drop dead (especially if we’re not active), our bodies like to be active. Spending your time helping others is amazing. Thank you.
Being serious… I am 57, well off. I would be bored out of my mind if I retired… My dream is to be found dead at my desk, in my 80’s. I am an architect, and love it. No WAY am I ever gonna retire…. If, God forbid, I lose my health, I’ll be gone in six months.
Get a financial advisor.
Lord, how can a doctor be so ill responsible!! My husband was a brick mason, and we managed to get two kids through college by getting them into dual enrollment in high school, earning scholarships, going on to get a masters and the other a dentist. We flipped two houses for them, letting them live in one while we were remodeling it for free with the agreement they work to pay off their loans in that time, then we gave them the proceeds of the house when it was sold to pay the last of their student loans. I homeschooled my children, so there was only one income. We worked bloody hard all our lives, but we do have enough for retirement. I’m sorry this doesn’t help, but YOU need to take charge of your life.
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Get a financial planner.
Reddit cannot help you.
I bet you can be on the road to retirement within 36 months.
Idk if there is a benefit. You got one life. Unsolicited advicce. We have no idea what choices youre making financially. If you’ve paid a chunk of your child’s student loans, they can get loans. I had loans and paid them off aggressively. I do believe a chunk of it is how you manage your expenses. To be comfortable later on , sacrifices will need to be made now.no fancy cars, no always eating out, no lavish vacations, etc. it sucks at first but doable.
Finance is only one part of a multifactorial issue. And every persons situation is different.
Answering your question. I don’t think there is a benefit unless you truly "love your job" and I think you know this too otherwise you wouldn’t be asking reddit
If retirement was so great why do so many go back to work? Many are bored
How about increasing your income? Think about a higher paying job or a second job. There are lots of opps for mds.
Hi guys, I appreciate the comments about how to manage finances and all, and am trying to do everything that you guys have suggested, but please give me more comments about the benefits of working as an older person. Thank you!
The advantage of working until you drop dead is that you can spend every single cent of your earnings on current consumption. That includes things you consume, and things that you allow others to consume, all paid for by your earnings.
Oh, and you can even leverage this by using debt to consume even more than you earn. But at some point you pay interest on this and it cuts into your consumption a bit, but at least you got to consume early by borrowing.
And if you do it right, when you die you have no assets/no estate, so your debt dies with you.
But…. there is another way. If you can defer at least some consumption and save/invest that money, and also learn how to say "no" to other people who want to frivolously spend your earnings, and then save/invest that too, then eventually you will have enough money saved and working for you that you have a choice to either stop working or slow down to working part time, and enjoy life more.
Unless an empty bank account coupled with memories of all the stuff that you consumed is what you look forward to having as the main source of comfort in your later years.
It’s a choice.
My grandad worked until the day he died. It’s a privilege to be able to. My mom and dad went to nursing homes. Those places make working until the day you die look like a picnic.
The benefits of working as an older person is you can keep existing in the manner to which you’ve become accustomed.
Some of the higher ups at my company are in their 70s. I think they enjoy still being involved and productive. They are the first ones in and some of the last out each day.
My mom is 75 and has been retired for a quite a while. She doesn’t go anywhere most days. I take her out at minimum once a week but she has no other social interaction. The dad is 73. His big thing is the grocery store on Friday morning. Other than that, he watches TV and sometimes fiddles around in the yard. These "choices" are just that. They both have more than enough money to travel, learn new hobbies or do what they want.
I’m a divorced lawyer. My ex left me swimming in debt with a kid to raise. I have a side hustle as a remote adjunct to help me stay afloat.
Is your partner truly a "partner" if she only contributes by racking up vehicle expenses? Reign it in. Transfer the kids to cheaper schools; mandate that they work to help pay for expenses at least; move to a smaller house.
I retired 19 months ago. I am bored. I am a type A person, used to having six things going on at once. I miss the stimulation. I miss the feeling of being productive. I miss the money. I want to go back to work, but now I’m afraid I won’t be hired with the gap in work history and my age.
Benefits? Can’t think of any. Time is the only valuable resource. Do what you can to get as much of yours back.
I’m 67. Still working. I like what I do so I’ll keep doing it. Pickleball sucks. Gardening sucks. I don’t golf. Have no real hobbies. So I’ll stay doing what keeps me sharp mentally and physically. Plus I have a part time job at the ballpark. Idle hand is the devils workshop LOL.
>my partner seems to rack up thousands of dollars in vehicle expenses
Why are you going along with this?
It staves off dementia, supposedly. Never retire.
The main benefits, besides income, are being connected to other people and having something useful to do. Both will give you a sense of purpose. Kids will not be in your budget forever. Maybe rethink the partner.
You feel like you are contributing something to the universe, instead of feeling like you are entitled to it taking care of you. Self respect, pride in earning your own keep. Mentoring the next generation. Having something to wake you in the morning, warding off the temptation to sleep through lonely depression.
Assuming your new partner is female, get a vasectomy to rule out any more kids. Pay yourself first every month by socking away as much into a retirement fund as possible. Never get married again without an ironclad pre-nup. Your 2 college age kids can work to help pay for their college expenses. Do not co-sign for any of their student loans. If you feel compelled to help them out with their education, tell them you will pay off a part of their student loans providing they get a marketable degree and keep a a reputable gpa.