Besides simple analysis of our chemistry, what should i aim to learn on a first date?

r/

What do you seek to learn and in what ways do you suss it out? my goal is not to be sneaky or play games per se but i find myself continuing to have “good dates” and i think i am just a pleasant and easygoing conversationalist more than i am in love with all these guys. Help me raise my bar! i ask what they do; what their family size is like, their five year plan…. maybe i need to gauge their temperament? how best to do so? anything else? i welcome your feedback, Im tired of “perfectly fine” dates, i want my socks blown off. ☺️

Comments

  1. __looking_for_things Avatar

    My first date with a guy I learned about his current bankruptcy and lawsuit. I gave him kudos for honesty 😂

  2. marissazam Avatar

    Honestly I use the first date to see if I’m even interested in them enough to want to get to know them more

  3. writermusictype Avatar

    I look for banter more than anything. I know everyone puts their best foot forward in first date “interviews,” so I’d rather suss out details more organically over time. Instead, I try to see if you’re quick on your toes and are clever, how you take and make jokes and whether we have a shared sense of humor, how you think about a menu (more thoughtful and experimental or straight to the point), how you answer questions (long winded or short, surface level or depth), how you respond to being challenged.

    I suppose I go in wanting to learn their temperament more so than their bio. Maybe that approach would help?

  4. marymoon77 Avatar

    just to see if you interested enough for date #2

  5. Unusual_Jellyfish224 Avatar

    Just go with the flow. First dates are for testing out the chemistry and banter. I wouldn’t prep some list of questions, interview style.