Best friend confessed his feelings

r/

Hi there. My (22F) best friend (M25) of two years just told me he has feelings for me. I love him very very much, he’s one of the best people I know… I just don’t feel the same. We are truly amazing friends and I don’t want to lose him or our friendship. I told him how I felt, there were a lot of tears on both sides and a resolution wasn’t exactly reached. How do I proceed? I want to support him and let him know I still want him as a friend while maintaining boundaries. I also can’t help but feel scared that his friendship has been partially disingenuous/ulteriorly motivated this whole time and worry about carrying that thought into our future friendship. TIA

TLDR: how do I move forward after my friend told me he has feelings for me?

Comments

  1. roadblocked Avatar

    Give it time. There is a good chance it was disingenuous or motivated in a way you weren’t aware of. You should accept the fact he could change how he acts towards you completely, if not, really the ball is in his court if you have already explained you want to keep the friendship.

    It’s gonna get messy when you get a boyfriend, though.

  2. arozze Avatar

    Personally from experience, the bestfriend dynamic never goes back the same and the other person will always have a crush on you because you keep giving them the same attention and trust

  3. Rare-Humor-9192 Avatar

    It’s not universal, but things like this happen frequently enough that the idea of members of the opposite sex being “best friends”is suspect. You two won’t be able to go back to the way you were, because I think deep down you know he always wanted more.

  4. WayneForever2Wheels Avatar

    And yet you’ll probably get all hot and bothered for some low-life thug just released out of jail because he’s a “bad boy”…am I right ?
    I bet when you guys go out to “hang out” you let him always pick up the check $$. . am I right also in that one?
    But he just “doesn’t do it” for ya…but you really get hot for Dirty Dick Tyrone or Frat Boy Chad….??

    Hmm…”methinks the lady doth protest too much.”