i’ll be 12 weeks the first of april and 12 weeks is when i wanted to tell her. i don’t want to stress her about it—at least not more than she needs to be. all in all it’s my responsibility and i don’t want to put that on her.
i’m not worried about her being mad or disappointed—which she probably will be but that’s understandable. i just feel bad i can’t imagine how she would feel when she isn’t even 40 and becoming a grandma. i also know she will feel like she has failed as a parent but she hasn’t—this really is completely on me and happened because of choices i made.
i have my first appt scheduled but it isn’t until i’m 15 weeks pregnant because they were so booked and i didn’t really have many other options due to my insurance. i’ve been in touch with my primary care doctor and she said it’s okay. me and my boyfriend (19m) are planning to move out soon as well. we both work full time with good pay and we’ve been saving as much as we can since we found out.
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It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Be calm, tell her your plan, ask for her support. She had you when she was 22, she probably has a lot of insight. The fact that you have a job, insurance, savings, etc. is a great sign.
Do you have a home and a job to take care of the baby? If that’s so then there’s no reason for her to feel like she has failed as a parent, explain to her that its your decision and your responsability.
I can’t speak for others but as a parent, the main reason i would get mad is the fact this would cost me all the money I thought to have and free time I’ve been looking forward to having to myself. Since a couple of 18 and 19 cannot do this without help.
Consider not moving out unless your mom wants you too. Rent is crazy expensive and will put a financial burden on you and the baby at a young age. You will need to take time off work to care for a young baby. Daycare is crazy expensive. Consider staying at home at least so you can pay for daycare.
You will need all the help you can get. Who gonna pay for everything?
Are you totally sure you WANT to be a teen mom?
Think about that before you tell her.
“Hey, mom! Guess who I found out is going to be a grandma!”
It sounds like you’re headed in the right direction. I’d say handle whatever it is she says calmly and maturely.
May I say a few words as a child whose mother had her at the age of 19? My mom was great with me when I was little, but as I got older it got more difficult. She waited to have her other children later and then eventually went back to school. I ended up a second parent and resentful. Plus, a lot of the family outings we did revolved around the much younger kids. So, by the time I was a teen, I hated doing family stuff with them. I felt left out. Also,
looking back, I felt like she was too young and immature to handle a child my age when I was a teen. I am not saying any of this stuff will be you, but if you choose to put off additional kids until you’re older, maybe keep it in the back of your mind.
My youngest brother was 2 when I told my mum I was pregnant at 18.
I was TERRIFIED what she would say to me. She took a deep breath and asked what I wanted to do about it. When I said keep it, she immediately went to get me some folic acid (please make sure you are taking this for at least the first 12 weeks as it can help prevent issues like limbs not growing properly, etc) and was super supportive all the way through.
My baby’s dad was murdered when I was 7.5 months pregnant, so my mum held my hand all the way through the pregnancy, took me to appointments, and was the one there for me when I gave birth to my daughter.
Even if your mum is a little upset, she’s got 9 whole months to het used to the idea. I think she’ll surprise you. Good mums tend to be very protective of their kids, even if we don’t always see it. So she’ll be ready to go to wat for you and her grandchild if need be.
Congratulations, OP. You’re in for ine hell of a ride and possible lifestyle change (depending on what yours looks like now). But it’s so worth it for the moment they plonk that warm little body on your chest.
Just the way you formulated all that and took responsibility shows how mature you are, your mom should be proud. I told my mom at 22yo that i was pregnant and she almost had a heart attack because she thought I wasn’t ready. Here she is now calling me everyday to see her 2 grandbabies because she misses them nonstop, lol. And everytime she goes to the store she buys sht for them.
Don’t break the news to her on April Fools Day