I (18F) have been dating my boyfriend (22M) for about 6 months. We haven’t met each other’s families yet, but we talk every day, we’ve said “I love you,” and we’re emotionally and physically close. It is a real relationship not casual.
Recently, something has started to bother me: he doesn’t want to make our relationship public, specifically, on his Snapchat.
He’s already told his sisters, cousins, and close friends that we’re together. But when it comes to his wider Snapchat audience (where he posts shirtless/gym selfies and gets attention from random girls), he doesn’t want to clarify that he’s in a relationship. He’s not flirting with them or anything, but he’s also not showing any indication that he’s taken.
When I brought this up, he said things like:
• “It’s too soon.”
• “What’s the point?”
• “We’ll see later.”
He apologized afterward for sounding dismissive, but I still felt like my concerns weren’t fully acknowledged.
I’m not asking for constant couple posts, I just want some form of acknowledgment so I don’t feel like a secret. Especially when I’m putting genuine effort into the relationship.
Has anyone else experienced this dynamic? How did you handle it?
TL;DR
He’s (22M) told close friends and family about us but refuses to make our relationship public on Snapchat, where he gets attention from girls. He says it’s “too soon,” but I (18F) feel like a secret. I’m not asking for constant posts — just basic acknowledgment. Looking for advice from others who’ve been in similar situations.
Comments
He already has a girlfriend.
Girl I had a bf like that he was cheating move on
I’d end it but I’m too old for this.
I highly doubt he’s not flirting if he’s posting those pics and doesn’t wanna show you on there.
move on, there is someone out there that will want to show you off and do what they can to make you feel secure. this man is not that
Don’t post him. Don’t change your relationship status. Post like you’re single the same way he does 🤷🏽♀️. See how he reacts.
Private and secret are two different things. He doesn’t want to lose his validation which he gets on snapchat, I would move on.
Would be suprising to hear if he changed his behavior, haven’t seen it before in similar cases sadly.
I don’t understand how it’s too soon if you’ve done the “I love you”s.
I feel like either he relies way too much on validation from compliments/conversations due to people thinking he’s single, or he’s just outright cheating.
As is always the case, just try and communicate. If he can’t offer a clear answer as to why it’s too soon, I gotta say it’s a pretty bad sign.
The “I love you” is a much much bigger commitment in my book. If he’s comfortable saying that, he should absolutely be comfortable acknowledging that he’s dating you on social media.
You’re the “nice” girl he brings around friends and family.
He’s either seeking looking for validation from these strangers on the internet or he’s already getting in-person validation from rando’s off the internet.
Sounds like he’s hiding you from someone.
He wants the freedom to plow other women, obviously. Time for you to decide if you’re okay with being with someone who clearly wants to flirt/plow other chicks, or not. And by that I don’t mean, “You need to give him an ultimatum to force him to become public about the relationship” – because even if he’s browbeaten into going public, he’s still going to be a guy who wants to flirt with and/or plow other women if he can find the opportunity.
Im sure his sisters, cousins, and close friends are the ones who can keep a secret. It’s obvious he’s hiding you for a reason. Maybe he’s cheating, or you’re too young and maybe immature for him in his eyes to show to his family. He’s making excuses. At this stage you should already have met the parents. Maybe he wants attention on social media, and him not seemly having any gf gives him an ego trip when ppl see his posts. But something is fishy here, for sure .
You’re the side piece